Just a small problem nothing too major. I have been with my current girlfriend for 5 months and all is great. But I have a box full of toys and porn from when I was single which includes many dildos and anal toys which I dabbled in and greatly enjoyed. The thing is I'm craving anal play again and this isn't something that my new partner is in too. How do I tell her about my box of goodies and various genres of porn (bukkake, anal, interracial and transgender). It's generally the norm for a straight male to have his own anal toys and sizeable dildos and I don't want to scare her away. Thanks in advance!
Have you spoken much of anal play?
Have you spoken much of anal play?
Has she got any toys? If she has you could use that as a starting point for discussion. If not, you could try asking if she has ever tried any or would like to try them before talking about your own experiences
She enjoys her ass being licked but that's all so far she is worried about the cleanliness. She told me about what she wanted when she was single but I'm unsure if she would be interested now we are in a relationship. She asked me if I had ever had my ass played with at the started or watched ts porn but I denied both out of being embarrassed. She found my douche but I said it was my exs and threw it out.
She had a vibrator back at home In Prague but didn't bring it with her but i got her one and some nice underwear for valentines days and she seems more than happy with it
You haven't really helped yourself! Lol ask her how she feels about male anal play, it's likely she's got an idea anyway as she probably saw your embarrassment and left it alone
I personally would be open and honest about it from the start. No point in hiding things for them to later be discovered. If she doesn't share your views on anal play then fair enough to her, each to their own, but she shouldn't stop you from solo anal play either.
I feel like if it is something you want then it is best to discuss it openly in a relationship otherwise you could end up resenting the other person for not allowing it etc. or the relationship could suffer from it. To be fair it could also suffer from being open - but in my opinion it is better to be open and honest (both sides) from the start and risk that rather than being unhappy in the long run.
I've dug a hole and clueless on what to do short of throwing it out and trying to start again or accepting the fact I might not have it again
Ask her how she feels about it. You say it's something she's not into but is this something you're assuming ?
She likes having her ass licked, she asked if you liked having your ass played with, she asked if you have ever watched porn ? I'm guessing she may be more into it than you think but, possibly she's a little embarrassed as well ? Comminication is extrememly important and lying to cover embarrassment is not going to help either of you get what you want :)
You cant force her her to accept what you like to do but you shouldn't have to hide it from her either.
Sit down and talk to her. Explain you were embarrassed and just be honest.
Just take a deep breath and talk about it with her, worst case scenario she says "I don't like it, throw it all out" so you throw it all out, which is what you're considering doing if you don't talk about so at least try, she might have asked about it because she was interested in it but you said no
She knows I watched porn and she openly admitted that she did and enjoys it. I'm just nervous some of my genres might be a shock to her. I just need to grow a pair and say it at the end of the day just need to find the best way of doing it.
Why do you think she's not interested? She asked you about it which to me seems like she is interested? I agree with ShinySparkle, just tell her you were embarrassed and that you like anal play. I don't think you have to share your porn preferences unless it's something you want to watch/do together.
She wants to watch porn together and all the toys and DVDs are boxed together in the garage. I can just take a few transgender out and toss them or I just leave them in and just go all out on it.
She said she had a ex and he wanted her to touch his ass which she did but said she didn't enjoy it. And it was a bad relationship. So it's a catch 22 on whether I think she did it for and with him so i should go for it or whether it will remind her of a previous partner. But I guess the only way is to find out or put up and shut up.
For the porn, if you want to watch transgender porn with her I'd just leave it in the mix, but if you don't you can hide it away in a separate box for now, and bring out the rest. As for the anal play, I wouldn't worry about the previous partner, and just be honest. If she doesn't want to do it you can still do it alone though, you don't need to give it up and chuck out all your dildos! I think however much you tell/show her is up to you at this stage of your relationship, so do whatever you're comfortable with, but I would advise that if she asks anything outright then don't lie.