I don’t mind admitting that at nearly 30, I’m not experienced sexually
I’ve recently got out of a 2 year relationship that wasn’t great. We had very little opportunity for sex but when we did he never got the hint. We had sex once which was his first time so it was awkward and not great just lying there with him on top
The time before that was my first time which was a one night stand. I was nervous as hell and I felt it. He went down on me which felt great but again the sex wasn’t good.
Since ending my relationship, I started talking with a friend and it turns out there’s a spark. He knows my sexual history and we’ve talked about what I’d like but as we’ve talked I feel like I’ve talked up a big game and nervous that when it comes to it, I’m not going to know what to do especially with him being more experienced than me
Can anyone please help me with any advice and tips?
To be honest him being more experienced is good. Hopefully, he’ll know the basics of what he’s doing. Your job is to say what you’re enjoying and what you’re not, if you’re in the driving seat, ask him what he wants? Don’t try to be a porn star - just go with it and if fits of giggles burst out that’s no bad thing. Everyone relaxes.
Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, just have fun
Don’t put pressure on yourself, communicate especially on what feels good and what doesn’t whether verbally or otherwise. It’s about enjoying the experience.
go for it. dont think about it too much and enjoy it… if he knows your not experienced then its all good. not ll men expect a porn star in the bedroom and its a big turn on knowing your doing things they have never done befor so your all good
That would be a great opportunity to have conversations about what you both like. You could ask him what he has had done to him before that he liked, was there something a partner did that was memorable, then decide for yourself if you are willing to give it a try. Don’t feel pressured into doing something that you really don’t want to do, but don’t be afraid to say “I’ve not done that before and I’m not sure, can we go slow or can you guide me”
Men “can” be easy creatures to please, our erogenous zone is pretty much focussed around our genitals. Some have learned the pleasure to be had from areas outside the genitals, but its a fairly safe place to start
Don’t take it too seriously, I think its easier for a man to have “good sex” than it is for a woman, lets face it, men can orgasm much easier than women (huge generalisation I know) so the chances of him not enjoying himself are slim. I wouldn’t expect fireworks straight off the bat, it can take time for a couple to get in synch sexually, but its a journey, not a destination and so long as you are both communicating and enjoying yourselves, then all is good
Just remember that no one is born knowing anything about sex ,the best way to learn what you like and what feels good is practice .Take things at your own pace if he has any feelings for you as a person he is not going to want to rush you into things your not ready for.Lastly just because he has more experience does not mean he knows everything but you can have a lot of fun learning together,and above all esle talk to each other if something does not feel right tell him equally if something feels good tell him how much you like what he is doing you would not believe what a confidence boost it is to be told your doing something your partner is enjoying. Have Fun.
Don’t worry, everyone needs to learn - and you also need to relearn for each partner too as everyone will have different likes. Even if you were very experienced you’d still need to learn what this new person likes, so try not to worry
Communication is key, you’re not psychic and neither is he! Be honest about how you’re feeling and whether you like things, and ask what he likes and get him to show you too.
Most of all relax and enjoy it, see it as a chance to explore and play with each other and have fun!
In my opinion, there is only so much someone can learn from experience.
When I’ve been with someone who tells me how experienced they are? It’s been rubbish!
What matters (imo) is communication and connection, that’s with yourselves as well as each other, knowing yourselves, other than that, most people are different and like and dislike different things.
Relax, be happy and do what feels good and tell each other what does and doesn’t work for you
All good suggestions and I think GoGirl12 would be a good place to start . As you try new “activities” you will find what gets you going the best . If you enjoy erotic reading , you may get ideas of things that warm you up . Then go to the LH instructional videos and search the forums for things you wish to learn about . Relax and remember you’re brain is your largest sex organ . Good luck and enjoy!
Every day is a school day, nobody is an expert from the off! I’m pushing 60 and learn new stuff all the time. Don’t focus on performance, just get to know each other’s likes, and have fun. Sexual intimacy is meant to be pleasurable not a competition. Have fun!
When we first met I was far more experienced than my Husband.
He was honest about this and I respected him being open with me (you can still do this too).
As we began to explore our sexual relationship he continued this honesty with his likes and dislikes and his feelings. This encouraged me to do the same.
He has given me so many firsts over the years and I’m sure we are so sexually compatible due to this honest.
Be open with him, he may get a kick out of this dynamic x
Brilliant advice above., A few things I’ve thought about for you to ponder.
Do you masterbate? Do you know where you like to be touched? I’ve masterbated since I was 12 so by the time I had sex for the first time (many years later) I knew what I liked. Even though it turned out to be penis in, few pumps, done… It was such a disappointment… And he was experienced!
See this experienced “thing” makes me think. You’re experienced how? Slept with a lot of women? Licked a lot of p****? Maybe he was giving it big ones too? Maybe if he says he’s experienced you might find that more attractive? Like others have said every partner is a new experience! Just for example look at this
People have different places on their body that they prefer to be touched etc so really communication is key. While your chatting ask his most sensitive area etc
And again like others have said you don’t need to be a porn star! Just enjoy it. Yes you will most likely be nervous but go with the flow hunny
He might be experienced but he has no experience with you - and that’s the most important thing for you both to remember.
We’re all different and something as small as the pressure of your touch can be a turn on for one person and a turn off for another. Even if he has a secret trick that’s worked with every other partner, it might not work with you.
My best advice would for you to approach it like you’re virgins. Put all your past experience with others aside and be completely open with each other.
If you both masturbate you both know what works for you and this is a great start. Begin with what you know and add and try new things as you go along.
