Hi all - new here… hoping to find some ideas and confidence
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Hi, let us know any questions!!
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Hey @42M 
I’ve moved your post to better suit the correct category. And welcome to the forum 
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Thank you!
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Mrs W here …….
Hello and welcome @42M hope you enjoy the LH Forum love x
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Jello and welcome,
When you say ideas and confidence, how can we help you?
I used be a confident lover but not so much the last couple of years. I’ve recently had a vasectomy and for some reason it’s made me even more uneasy. Not looking for direct help, just want to inject something into our love life… hope that makes sense!
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Completely. Why do you feel like your vasectomy has changed you? Nothing about you has changed per se. You’re still the man you used to be
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Haha yes I don’t feel less of a man or anything. Just had a slightly painful recovery and had no erections for a couple of weeks. Have had sex a couple of times since but not been relaxed. Have bought viagra (not used yet) but don’t really want to rely on that (or it be a secret!) - got the missus some bits from this site for Christmas and then didn’t actually give them to her - not sure why I feel so regressed 
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Same brother. I’ve already gotten in trouble for being too risky so be careful lol 
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Got you, so do you think the pain of your vasectomy still weighs on your mind? If you’ve had a painful recovery, it’s understandable to be worried about rushing back in. How are things generally? Intimacy without intercourse?
We’re alL good, happy (2.5 year old son adds a dimension) - relationship all good. My wife is incredible - I just need to find my spark I think…
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Not the same but my mother’s recently (under three weeks) had spinal decompression surgery and I get daily WhatsApp updates about what she can do now. I’m like “yes Mum but what should you be doing?” 
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Be gentle on yourself, and what will be will be. If things are good, enjoy the good things and the rest will fall into place. My hushand and I went through a spell not too long ago where we couldn’t find time for sex (both working hard and a very demanding dog). We swapped must-have-sex for mutual masturbation and that pressure soon went away. Don’t put pressure yourself
Thank you - appreciate it.
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You’re very welcome
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Hi @42M
Welcome to the forum!
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Welcome to the forum
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Hi there and welcome
This is a great group, I feel so much more confident now than before I joined.
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Welcome to the forum! 