Hi there, my OH and i wish to try anal sex, she is a bit nervous (understandably) but i want to get it right for both her and I, can anyone help, any advice ?? thanks
My husband has used a small butt plug or dildo in my ass whilst making love to me! It works a treat. I would suggest start with the smallest one and move up. There is also the option for her to pop a butt plug in whilst shes at home, doing chores or watching tv etc just to get used to having something in her ass and then increase the size. But i have found the easiest way for me, is to have something in both holes, it takes your mind off the sometimes uncomfortable feeling and most of all its a real turn on!! Im sure there will be other suggestions that will work too! Good luck x
Yea what Dee_licious333 said probably best to use a small butt plug or dildo in her bum whilst having sex then gradually increasing the size of the toy. I have the Smoothy Anal Dildo Prober and I think it's a good starter; http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2041
Probably best to take things slowly and assuring the teasing is enjoyable all the time. Therefore, obviously, she will be relaxed when she receives the toy or you hence no/little discomfort.
I recommend using plenty of lube as well. Maximus Anal Lubricant is highly recommended Maximus Anal Lubricant 250ml&reviewpage=1
I like the Pjur products as well http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17606 there's also a spray but I haven't tried it.
Position wise... Probably best to lay on your side for starters.
Anyways I hope it helps and if you put in 'Anal' in the search box at the top, other threads should pop up offering more advice.
thanks very much for your welcomed answers, i will certainly try the butt plug for starters, and the lubricant.. thanks again
I'll throw in a second vote for Maximus lube. It's fantastic at what it does, and isn't messy if it gets on the sheets (which it will).
Your best bet is to not jump right in there with your penis. As has been said, a small butt plug, or even some anal beads should be tried out first, just to get used to the sensation. Just take it slow, and make sure she's comfortable and relaxed with each step you take, and you'll be grand.
Patience, lube and communication are the necessary tools here!
Tigerjon....
The first time is the most important time. The internal sphincter muscle has a memory - if it clamps shut it can be painful for your Mrs and it will remember its reaction to any penertration... if it is relaxed, anal sex should get easier and easier....
Fingers first, butt plugs next then onto penertration....
However, on saying this, if she is relaxed and you have A LOT!!! of lube, you can jump straight to penertration with little problem (i never had all the butt plugs to start off and i love it!).... just go slow and remember stop means stop!
Wise words Chels Stop means Stop! LOL
My OH and I are currently working our way up to trying anal and we are using a few toys to help.
We have a small butt plug which is fantastic and I would highly recommend it to her if she's feeling nervous http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053 it's something she can try on her own first if that would make her more comfortable
Just as long as you use plenty of lube and go as her pace, you'll get there and it'll be great. We've been using this lube http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=480 which again is brilliant
Good luck!
Wow, so many replies, thanks very much to all of you, i have just recieved delivery of a small butt plug as suggested along with anal lubricant, hopefully will try it very soon, but only when she is ready, many thanks to all you that gave me advice, love you all
Hmmm I did think about mentioning to use fingers but I decided against it. If she's a bit nervous, a part of the reason may be she's a little self conscious. A finger being slipped in first may make her tense because she may be aware of hygiene and cleanliness etc. If that's the case, once she has gained a bit more confidence with the toys then fingers would be ideal.
Anyways enjoy purchases :)
Once again thanks for all the advice and tips, she has now tried the beginners anal plug with anal lube (of course) and tried a small vibrator (swithed off) and found it very exciting, we will of course try anal intercourse very soon, its all going well
Hi, this is all good advice, I would just add that a finger can be good because you can feel if the anus is tense or starting to relax. It also really helps if you try these things on yourself too, so that you know what it feels like and how to go about it.
Don't feel pressured into to going all the way in one session, you can have lots of pleasure from taking one step at a time.
Always use good lube.
Check out the advice threads mentioned; there's also a good blog on this subject, "Five easy steps etc" and the How To Sex Guide link on my profile.
As long as you're sensible, caring and considerate, you should both have a lovely time.
Have fun :-)
I would recommend Pjur silicone lube as it stays slippery for longer than most others.
Butt plugs are okay for those who like them, but a flexible dildo is much better for training as it doesn't let the sphincters close up again. There is a double-ended Doc Johnson one which is about one and a quarter inches thick, which is ideal for a newbie. Just remember that a big stool is about the same size.
Gentle play with a vibrator on the outside of the anus will help the sphincters relax. Stroking the "taint" (the area between the anus and the vagina) will also help. In fact anything that makes her feel sexy and which is pleasurable for her. You might also try tongueing her anus before anything else.
To prevent potential messes a small anal douche or enema may be used, but do not use a Fleet enema as these irritate the bowel.
Finally I always tell men who want to have anal sex to try recipient anal sex themselves. This gives you a much better idea of what's good and what's not.