Newbie Virgin Needs Help

Hey all,

I purchased a slimline silicone dildo and a vibrator from LH but I can't seem to get the dildo in without it hurting :(
I went for the smallest one on the site as I'm a Virgin but want to experiment with toys before I lose my virginity. I orgasmed twice before attempting to insert the dildo and used plenty of lube but I could only get it about 1/3 or the way in as it hurt! I used the vibe on my clit to try and mask the sensation and it went on a bit further but it still wouldn't go in fully as it hurt too much :(

What should I do?!

One for the ladies on here I think .

Welcome to the forums .

The only advice I could give is that maybe you should try something a little smaller? Maybe a bullet or a love egg? Did you try stretching yourself a bit with your fingers before inserting the toy? I know when I used toys when I was a virgin there was no way I could take some of the ones I have recently and if it's hurting you, you're not going to get very far with it.

A few other suggestions I could give is try to relax as much as possible, otherwise you will be really tense and this will cause a painful reaction to the toy if you aren't used to this. How did things go with the vibrator? You may need a toy that is a bit softer as well, maybe a jelly dildo or something to get you started, as these may bend more to your shape.

It could just be that you need to use a lot more lube as a virgin who isn't used to toys. Don't pressure yourself to try and take your toys, just relax and keep trying. :) I'm not sure of the entire situation, so I'm not sure if any of this information is useful to you but I hope you figure something out.

First of all, hello and welcome to the forums!

Second, what lubricant are you using? You might have more luck with a thicker water-based lubricant such as Sliquid Sassy. It's designed for anal, but can be used vaginally and is much thicker, which should make penetration more comfortable.

Third, I know it might be easier said than done, but try to relax. It seems as though you're putting pressure on yourself to be able to take the full length straight away, which you don't need to do. Just insert the length you're comfortable with to start with. Then when your body gets used to something being there, try again. You may be subconsciously tensing up and worrying about the pain, which will make things worse. Set the mood a little bit first, take a bath, play your favourite music, turn off the lights, do whatever it is that makes you comfortable and try again. If at any point it hurts, stop. Try again later. There's no rush to be able to take the full length.

Hello and welcome to the forums.

That's great that you orgasmed before you even tried to insert any of your new toys. Maybe hold back on the inserting till you get really, really aroused and use your toys on the clitoris and labia instead. Definitely use plenty of lube and don't rush as the other members have said, take your time, explore what feels good and let your body gradually get used to your toys and don't worry if you can't insert very far. If you are a virgin it will feel very strange putting anything in there. You could use your fingers with lube to get warmed up too but if it feels sore always stop and you can try again another time.

I started off with a bullet for clitoral stimulation then moved on to inserting it to get used to the sensation before moving onto bigger toys. I wasn't a virgin when I first tried sex toys in fact I was a married mother of two but it still took a bit of getting used to.

Relax and have fun experimenting :)

Nothing else to add to the above advice already given - apart from to back up the 'try to relax and build up to it'.

Enjoy the journey - it will happen.

Also welcome to the forums, and come back anytime for further advice, or just for fun xxx

Hello and welcome!

If you still have problems with inserting the toy after following the advice already given, there is a dilator set that could possibly help. In the description, it states that these can be used by virgins and the smallest ones are smaller than your dildo.

Hi and welcome to the forums.

I cant really add anything that hasn't already been said but do bare in mind that you dont have to get all of it in the first few times. Just take things slowly and be'll get there xx

Welcome :)

I had this issue a few years ago, I got my first toy and was eager to start experimenting - was kind of shocked when the dildo would not fit and would leave me very uncomfortable trying to use it.

I found that if I used a thicker, silicone based lubricant and plenty of foreplay, it was much easier. Remember, foreplay (even solo) is really important to prepare your body and in turn, make the pleasure better.

If you are finding penetration with toys uncomfortable, maybe invest in a bullet vibrator and experiment with vibrations + fingers. Its a lot easier on your body and you can slowly advance by using an extra finger or two.

Be patient and enjoy xx

Hello and welcome :)

Okay lets look at the type of dildo. Not sure exactly which one you bought but these two look pretty good for a beginner, depending on whether you want a rabbit or not:

These are both fairly slim and short and both are friendly with silicone lubriant which is my absolute fave <3 Silicone lube lasts longer than water based lube so you don't need to top up as often, I like this one personally:

That's your equiptment sorted but what can often stop women getting it on, both with vibes and in penetrative sex, is vaginismus. This sounds like a hella scary yeast infection but it's actually just nerves tbh. You try and use a vibe, it causes pain, you spasm up because vibe now = pain and it therefore becomes more painful. If this is the case you might need to find a way to chill before hand. I recommend mindfulness :) A mindful orgasm is a magical orgasm. Also if you're orgasming before insertion you'll be contracting making it more difficult to insert as you contract muscles when you orgasm.

Finally if you're a virgin it may be your hymen. I had a really mega hymen when I was a virgin and even went to the gum clinic because of blood when my and my OH tried to have sex but it was just the hymen. It honestly just needed to go which, at first, was painful but now I'm playing with the big toys and loving it.

Good luck dear! And remember, many women (myself included), don't even orgasm from penetration so there is no shame from sticking to the good ole bullets for the clit. :)

It may be worth trying this dilation kit before you move onto toys: