My wife had breast cancer after treatment all cleared now but we had a fantastic sex life but now nothing at all im suportive and i understand she is always hot and flushed and i get it but i find my self frustrated iv cot a fleshlight prostate massager but i miss the contact
Someone very close to me had breast cancer last year. Her treatment as finished and has had a boob taken away, I’m not sure if that’s your partners case aswell but that person I know so well has changed so much since before she had cancer.
Firstly losing a boob as massively affected her confidence and now that stops her wearing the clothing she once did, swimming, get unchanged infront of people and the underwear she once wore.
Secondly the treatment she is on which she will be on for the next 5 years makes her tired and have no energy. There are days when she just sleeps and simple tasks completely drain her.
Thirdly is the constant worry it will return and worrying about how she will cope if the cancer ever returned.
Cancer as been massively mentally and physically draining for my person and I don’t know anything about her sex life but I can completely understand how all that effects from cancer could change peoples sex drives.
I would give it time and don’t even bring sex up right now. Just enjoy the cuddling and kissing and hope that one day the intimacy will come back.
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Hi, I feel your pain. It must be very difficult for ladies and gents to get over breast cancer even after receiving the all clear. Not sure of partners age but could she be starting the menopause and its that which is starting the hot sweats etc. Would be well worth seeking advice from doctor/nurse and express your feelings.
What a stressful time you have both been through
I can’t imagine the impact it has had.
Congratulations on the all clear.
I am far from an expert and I don’t know if I can post external links here, but MacMillan do have a section on the website which can offer you support and advice. That might help you when the right time to rekindle some of your previous sex life.
In addition, if your wife is now going through the Menopause, have a look at Davina’s website 
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Have you opened up to her about it as she might want it too but is struggling with her confidence after what she’s been through…
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Macmillan certainly do a booklet, “Relationships and sex after Cancer” it might be worth getting hold of one of them.
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Yes iv talked about it but the meds have put her in the change not a good time for her at moment.
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Give her some time. She needs to heal physically and emotionally. I was diagnosed with testicular cancer over 20 years ago. Lost a testicle and believe me even after the all clear which took regular testing for five years it took a toll mentally. Back to where we were and then some with our sex life, but give it some time.
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Sounds like no pressure cuddles would be nice for her, she’s having a rough time of it. You still get the contact and she gets looked after.
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It’s great to hear that wife has had the all clear. You’ve said that the medication she’s now on has put her into the menopause and brought on hot flushes. A friend of mine who has a family history of breast cancer took sage supplements to help with the hot flushes, so might be an option worth exploring.
The symptoms caused by the menopause can be life changing and this on top of breast cancer must be really difficult for your wife. When she’s ready / wants to she could see a menopause specialist who also has expertise in breast cancer to see if there is anything that she can take / use that doesn’t increase any risks but helps her symptoms.
In the meantime as others have said lots of cuddles and reassurance without sex being on the agenda. Good luck to you both.
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