Does your partner ever offer up sex where she does not participate due to lack of interest/drive? How do you feel about it? Take her up on the offer or pass? Personally, I appreciate the offer, and occasionally take her up on it if I’m feeling horny enough, but don’t find it all that satisfying. Sure, it takes care of the physical need, but emotionally, not so much. I don’t expect it’s very satisfying for her either!
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I’d pass then have a long conversation with them about why on earth they would think they need to offer that? If I wanted one sided sex I’d use my hand or a toy. For me, sex requires all participants to be enthusiastic about their involvement.
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I do plenty of things I’m not into for my wife’s benefit and when I clearly don’t want to do it. So I get it, I mean doing something you’re not into to just please your partner… but still, only kind of and the idea is still a bit weird to me.
Usual caveats of so long as it’s genuinely consensual and not some form of coercion etc, of course.
But would I take up the offer of having sex with someone who didn’t want it? I can’t imagine I’d ever say yes.
Aww that’s quite sad. I could understand if there were medical reasons, i.e. painful gynae conditions. I could empathise with that.
But not being interested… How old is she If you don’t mind me asking? Could this be menopause related? X
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Yes, it’s menopause related. It’s not that she’s never interested any more, but just much less often.
Zero interest in taking the offer and if there’s zero interest after starting sex, it’s just wrong. To me it’s a rejection of intimacy. Like said by others, better to take care of yourself than have that kind of disappointment.
You could actually be doing some damage to her vaginal walls. If she is not aroused and you don’t use lube you could cause micro tears. Common during and post menopause. Even with lube it can happen, it did to me and doctor explained the cause of the bleeding.
As far as having sex with someone who doesn’t want to I could not do it, but then as a woman it is difficult to make a man have sex with a woman if he is not aroused by her.
I just went through this yesterday. The last time my wife and I had sex, I did not orgasm, which sometimes happens. Yesterday she offered to help me get an orgasm, a kind thing to do, and one she rarely offers. So we went to bed and did several things including oral ( which I enjoy, but rarely orgasm from ) some manual, and PIV intercourse. After quite a long time we finally quit the process, I still did not orgasm..
So here’s the thing, as nice as it was to have her offer the help, because she clearly or into it for her own enjoyment, it felt a bit disconnected, hence the outcome. I am sure there might be times when the offer of non involved play might be a way to get satisfaction, based on the results, I would probably prefer to take care of things by myself.
Maybe in the future there may be a reason to revisit the scenario, and adding a sex toy or some other variable to change things up might be an option. Looking back, even some sexy talk or encouragement could have changed things for me, because it is out of our current playlist, it might feel strange and need getting used to.
I did thank my wife a LOT for her offer, and told her I truly enjoyed the intimacy in any event. Any chance for physical contact is a nice option.
I would definitely pass. I would feel very guilty if she is just having sex for my benefit. I also get more pleasure from sex by seeing Mrs C enjoy it.
I believe sex is an act you should both enjoy. If one person doesn’t want it then they should masterbate or if it’s a long term problem then speak to each other to resolve any issues that have led to a lack of a sex drive.