Recently i have split up from my partner this was 2 weeks ago now, and he is still here! When i split up with him he said as soon as i get the money believe me i'm gone. I have tried to tell him i need to be on my own, have my own space as i have never had that and i'm 26 yrs of age with no money and just got this flat. Plus there is someone i am interested in.
Him being around is stressing me out, just different things he does, like drinking and things that just get on my nerves. he hasnt even started saving so how is he going to bugger off, its gonna take ages for him to save if he is even gonna start.
When i mention to go to his parents or friends as he has got loads family and friends, he says he hasn't got anywhere to go (meaning these people hasnt got any room). And he says i cant go incase a job comes in, in the town we live in. So when he's there at least he can save money, probably meet some other lady.
He seems comfortable here thats what it is and he not gonna budge from his comfort zone. I dunno what else to do cos we're still friends and we have mutual friends, so i can't throw him out physically can i and i am not that nasty kinda person to send him to the council with a letter to say i thrown him out.
I have said to him i will try and help as much as i can to find somewhere and to set up home. But it seems that it goes from one ear out the other. Either that or he just thinks im having a funny turn and he hopes to get back with me.
I wanted to be single, but i have found myself having feelings for someone else but at least i won't be living with that person and be on my own for quite a bit and that.
Is there any other good ideas for him to go? I keep going over and over it in my head but nothing unless i actually mention theres another man but he probably definatley wont go then! Sure he will want to bring a woman home one day and its not gonna be here! Help please? lol! Thanks
Thanks hun, Nah i dont speak to his parents much. Well, this is why i wanna try and make it friendly. The bond for this place is from my rainy day savings but his name on the book first and my name as well. So if i buggered off i will have to ask the landlord for the bond and he will have to go anyway cos she has no bond. So i dont think i can do a eviction notice really.
He is still treating me the same as before we split up i.e he went to the shop for me for cold relief etc this week and phones me when he's out.
If both of your names are on the tenancy then could be he's thinking "Why should I leave?" If its joint, then you're both equally liable for the rent, so could it be the solution is for you to give notice for both of you and both find somewhere new to live?
As you say seems it's perhaps not sunk in too much with him, so perhaps that could be the solution? Give your notice, then you'll both have to move out. If you paid the bond then you can use that for a new place, all it may mean is perhaps a short time back home with your parents or a friend whilst you wait to get it back before you can sign up for a new place?
tough one - this is what happened with me and my now ex husband. He wouldn't leave.
In the end a few weeks later I couldn't take it anymore, and left behind every material thing and left and started a new life 400 miles away.
He's often argued with me since then and gave me the "why did you leave and take my children so far away" and to that i have a simple answer - it is "you wouldn't leave, so we had to".
Ultimately, I may have left every material possession behind, but the only thing i'm grateful for is that I have my children. He still lives in our former marital home, and at the end of February the court will tell him he has 4 weeks to vacate it in order for it to be sold.
And that my dear - is the result of him "not leaving"
Glad i havent got kids then or married to him, mind you i been with him for 8 yrs thats is since i was a teen.
Another reason for him to leave he won't be able to cope with bills until he sorts himself out tidy. Whereas i am good with money and prioritise bills.
Ok, i guess theres not much i can do i just have to go with whatever goes, and just nag him all the time. I have given him the if you care about me you'd go and stop causing me stress but that didnt work at all lol.
What's your landlord like? Can you explain the situation and ask for his or her advice on how best to handle it? That's one person you definitely want on your side.
My and My now ex partner had a a serious talk. Looks like i will have to go and start packing to go to my parents, leaving a lot of stuff behind. I dont wanna go back there but it will show him how serious i am about it all. He still thinks im in a relationship with him i think. So when i start packing he will panic cos he will not be able to cope on his own. but if i have to go i will have to go.
