hi know as a man we can't really fake orgasms, but is there anyway we as men know when having intercourse that the OH has climax... No toys being used... My wife would be shy and always says she enjoyed sex. Is there anyway to tell she has had a orgasm as it would be nice to know without toys you can please your OH. The last time we had sex 2 days ago whilst having intercourse when inside her there was a slight squelching noise and she was quiet wet, does that a sign she orgasmed , or just she is enjoying the sex...
You can still enjoy sex without having an orgasm so I wouldn't feel too bad if I were you. Many women struggle to climax in general, especially with just penetration alone. An additional form of stimulation is often needed too like clitoral, for example.
Typically, a woman's vagina, anus and even uterus all contract when she climaxes. So if something is inserted in her vagina at the point of climax, it will squeeze/contract around it in a kind of rhythm. However, when I masturbate through my underwear, I can still feel these contractions from the opening of my vagina and muscles with my hand even though nothing is inserted. You'd probably be able to feel them too when inside her or touching her there.
It sounds like from the sex you had the other day that your partner enjoyed it but may not mean she orgasmed. Either way, being super excited and wet like that is a good thing too.
As Alicia4Ever said, try not to put too much pressure on her or yourself to reach orgasm because it can just make things harder.
My wife doesn't always orgasm
Sometimes it's just not there, another time she can be shouting the house in minute of me entering her.
She/ we always enjoy sex, so enjoy don't worry
Good luck trying and enjoying
Agree with the points made. Suggestions would be either play with toys let her orgasm or bring her to the point of orgasm and then enter. Or stimulate her clit during sex with either toy or fingers and bring her to orgasm that way. Thirdly she could stimulate herself whilst you enter her. Either way it should be a no pressure situation, just go with the flow.
Before I was with my husband, I rarely used to orgasm. I told him this, and it took the pressure off him. Now he's found what works and I orgasm a lot more.
So just to reenforce what has been said above, don't worry about it. If your having good sex and both are enjoying it, that's all you need.
My wife never orgasms from penetration alone but I love watching her using a vibrator to orgasm multiple times when I'm inside her.
Don't compare male and female orgasms. Completely different terrain, in my experience. It can be very hard to tell, either way, so just focus on pleasure.
I don't orgasm from penetration alone but it still feels great. Plus I'm entwined around someone I love - don't underestimate that!
By myself with toys there is more of a clear build up and hit, sometimes 2-3 with rests in between. With my OH during foreplay with fingers, oral, toys etc I can also get that hit but I am more likely to go in rolling waves - one after another.
Pleasure can come in lots of different ways so keep communicating. Also, each encounter can be very different.
As long as you can tell each other if things are not working quite as you would like, then you can also believe each other when things are going fine. I.e. as long as she feels she can say when things are not working, trust her when she says they are.
There is a Lovehoney video around somewhere - I can't find a link - about women's pleasure. Being wet is certainly a sign of being turned on, not necessarily orgasm - which I think of more as a muscle spasm but others might come along with different stories...
Totally agree with the above. Orgasms aren't necessarily required for great sex. I know my Husband can often feel me cumning when he is inside me, feels like he is being squeezed. However I am sure this could be faked too by doing kegal exercises in the moment.
Over the years I have had several women fake an orgasm , I was pretty familiar with how it felt . Though some it was hard to tell , others easy . I myself after body building for years would fake an orgasm , which would often trigger them that would bring me to climax fpr real . The magic combination can take some research for every women . And that can change day to day . Do not stress yourself or her , just try different approaches and have fun !
Hi Everyone, sorry for the delay in replying was away with work and only back last night, thanks for your advice. Good to know we are like all you folks out there , gives me a peice of mind , we both enjoy sex but it's good to reassured the orgasms aren't a must... Thanks for the tips also , it's much appreciated must give these a try out , always nice to get ideas from other like-minded people...
I agree with pretty much everyone above.
Just want to add that you won't necessarily feel her muscles contract and squeeze your penis. I've found that most partners didn't notice unless I was sitting perfectly still (no thrusting/ moving) while I was having an orgasm. If you are giving her oral, you might feel or see it.
Also, if you're fingering her, you won't necessarily feel something change in the texture of her vaginal walls. Even if you do, unless she knows her body very well, she might not be able to tell you what it was that you felt.
Thanks for your comments much appreciated. I have noticed when giving my OH oral , when she is on her back and I am between her, certain times when giving her oral after a few minutes she will start arching her back and start moving her hips and move her pubic area more into my face with her taken more of a control off what area she wants to be hit...at Least in comment above as you say its more about enjoying than the orgasms.. At this stage when she is in thid mood when she starting to take the control of the oral sex i am giving her back,would the best option to start using fingers at this stage as usually at this stage she will say to go for full blown intercourse... Or any ideas to surprise her, as I do try and make my OH happy when it comes to making out.... But the all the comments are a help as it's all about enjoying the momentSmultron wrote:
I agree with pretty much everyone above.
Just want to add that you won't necessarily feel her muscles contract and squeeze your penis. I've found that most partners didn't notice unless I was sitting perfectly still (no thrusting/ moving) while I was having an orgasm. If you are giving her oral, you might feel or see it.
Also, if you're fingering her, you won't necessarily feel something change in the texture of her vaginal walls. Even if you do, unless she knows her body very well, she might not be able to tell you what it was that you felt.
hagions wrote:
Thanks for your comments much appreciated. I have noticed when giving my OH oral... At this stage when she is in thid mood when she starting to take the control of the oral sex i am giving her back,would the best option to start using fingers at this stage as usually at this stage she will say to go for full blown intercourse...
At this point fingers feels fantastic to me - of course, so would intercourse but I'd try fingers first and stroke upward inside her quite firmly... and then move onto intercourse.... just a suggestion, everyone is different tho.
MsR wrote:
hagions wrote:
Thanks for your comments much appreciated. I have noticed when giving my OH oral... At this stage when she is in thid mood when she starting to take the control of the oral sex i am giving her back,would the best option to start using fingers at this stage as usually at this stage she will say to go for full blown intercourse...At this point fingers feels fantastic to me - of course, so would intercourse but I'd try fingers first and stroke upward inside her quite firmly... and then move onto intercourse.... just a suggestion, everyone is different tho.
Thanks must give it a try , sounds good looking forward to it.
I think everyone is a little different and i agree with what others have said. I have seen my girl orgasm so many times from her masturbating herself with fingers, a dildo, vibrators to going down on her, fingering her and full sex that I have not much doubt when she has orgasmed.
I can feel her orgasm and tense up sometime when I am inside her but this is not a dead giveaway. She says she feel like she squirts a little sometimes when she orgasms but this is not like a fake porn squirt at all but more of just a flood of her pussy juice. I can feel this a bit when inside her and it's easy to see if we use condoms or she has used her black dildo.
She seems to orgasm quite easily from most stimulation but going down on her adn giving her clit some oral or using her vibrator is the fastest way to get her to orgasm.
Mrs Sen is usually pretty quiet when it comes to sex, she is very conscious of not making so much noise that the kids will hear. The house we are in at the moment does have pretty thin walls, so its not entirely an unfounded fear.
Her strongest orgasms come from a mix of penetration and mains powered wand, with less intense orgasms from other toys (mantric wand and satisfyer) but always in combination with penetration (well, except the first time she tried the Doxy wand, that really surprised her).
As for faking it? Been married too long now for either of us to fake an orgasm just to placate the other, it either happens or it doesnt but neither of us gets upset if it doesn't.
Sen
Thx all for the replies gives me a peice of mind, some people mention when giving oral maybe use a toy... Any in particular that couples find the best to use ie Pocket rocket, vibrator,wand or what do you find as the best toy to use when giving oral
@hagions In my experience when you know somebody really well they have tells (like poker players), little subtleties that only you would pick up on and some others that are pretty generic. For instance (I don’t know how long you have been with your partner) you will have learned a lot of things that your OH likes by picking up on how they move/react to certain things you do, no doubt you’ll pick up on these and your inner monologue will be “loved that will do it again), the same goes for things that they don’t like. Whenever people fake anything things are always missing that would normally be visible, especially if it’s being over egged - example: the feet are a great tell for orgasms, most people (not all) when orgasming will either point their toes towards them or curl them up - this is the bodies nerve response, as great as orgasms feel they do shock the nervous system which caused the responses (arched back, eyes rolled, loud noises etc). Next time you bring her to orgasm without being inside her look at the movement in her feet when she climaxes, then keep an eyes out for the next time you have your doubts. That being said if she wasn’t enjoying herself she would probably make you aware, don’t let yourself get worried about your performance and put stress on yourself, doing this won’t do either of you any favours. Open conversation is always best in any case, some people can find it difficult to broach the subject of sex, there’s really no need to though. You’ll probably find that you’re worrying over a problem that does not exists and feel relieved after having a natter about it.
My wife really struggles to orgasm from intercourse since having our children. We discussed this in detail and how things had changed and essentially had to re-learn what she enjoyed and didn't enjoy. As other people have said about though she still enjoys intercourse and actually sometimes all she wants now is to have that feeling from intercourse without worrying about orgasming herself. When she does want to orgasm though I will either go down on her or use fingers/toys while she either plays with me and we orgasm together or we then have sex after the initial hypersensitivity she has from orgasm. As others have said you need to not worry too much and to talk about it with her without putting any pressure around it.