OH’s decreased sex drive journey

@JoCat, @mrssaffa
Sliding hot dog! That’s hilarious :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: :star_struck: :rofl:

@mrssaffa I imagine that you did. :wink:

I think you are on to something here, very interesting idea…it could be descriptive, yet not graphic and possibly not even subject to others editing it :rofl:

Now you HAVE to send me that recipe :sunglasses:

Turns out the boy has a frenulum that is way too tight!

Hi I’m back again after an interesting few months of more penis revelations.

The doctor took one look at it and was like yep you need surgery, and that was of course looking at it soft.
When he asked how long my OH has had this, my OH shrugged and said “as long as I can remember.”
Think there was a collective :woman_facepalming:t3: in that room that day.

Obviously I asked him about that. He thought it was normal for it to hurt, as he originally confided in someone who had the same unresolved issue and didn’t know either. He’s not typically a trusting person, there was nobody else in his life he felt he could ask, and as a teenager, fair enough, so that was that. Sex was painful amongst the good feelings and he just accepted it.

Anyway, we’ve had some months of abstinence.
And when I say that I mean we go weeks until he gets to a point where the need outweighs the discomfort and we have sex until he can’t, and then he finishes himself (or I do) with what I have now learned is an adapted technique. (Again with the penis revelations)
During this time we did have one of our most hottest sessions we’ve ever had, my god. But that’s besides the point :flushed::flushed::flushed:
I wait for him to decide he wants to walk that road, it’s his choice if he wants to go there, and I am just easy going and work with what he wants. He’s intent on making me feel good, so if I walk up to him and ask he sort me out, he does, but being unable to reciprocate makes me uncomfortable. He lets me do some things, but its so much pressure knowing one wrong move could hurt him. It’s been a whole thing, and honestly I’ve used this time as an exercise to sort out my own toxic thinking towards sex.

He is still his usual playful self every single day. My respect for him has only gotten higher, even if I don’t fully understand his journey to this point.
It was actually so rough at first, hence why I disappeared again, it was a lot to unpack and I had very toxic attachment issues to our sex which this has all helped tremendously - we’ve proved to ourselves we don’t need sex to be intimate and connected, and that’s done wonders for me.

Surgery is booked, and after a really good conversation yesterday, he revealed he feels so relieved that it’s actually not normal and he’s so excited to see what sex feels like without pain.
He’s never been more open with his thoughts, and so many other things make sense, knowing he must associate most sexual acts with pain, and despite this he still does them with 100% passion for me.
My friends keep laughing at me saying I won’t be able to walk once he’s healed.

Anyway, please send all your healing thoughts our way. Mostly for him. I’m good for now, but I’ll keep you updated on that one too lol

…did I just ask you to send healing thoughts towards someone’s penis?
Hahaha lordy


Glad to hear you both finally have answers and that you are both strengthening your relationship while going through this.
All the best for the surgery and recovery and of course the new road ahead of you both :hugs:

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Thoughts and prayers to the penis :wink:

Thats a positive update, theres progress and plans & Lordy Sue woman, when he’s healed… I can’t wait for those updates!

Its great to read how strong your relationship is and how much you both work together and communicated to get through the obstacles that have come up. You’re a true team and its lovely to see you back 🫶🏼

Is he able to masturbate without pain, so that you still keep that sexual connection? You could have peep shows and races to see who orgasms first. Zoom zoom


healing thoughts on the way from over here @mrssaffa

I fully expect a night/day experience for you both once he is healed up and certainly do look forward to the updates. I have been cut all my life so I cannot relate, exactly, but can imagine it’s not very pleasant for him currently. I was my OH first experience with a cut penis and she tells me she much prefers it.

wishing you both all the best with this.

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@Nvravrg69 thank you! He will remain uncut, but they do some fancy thing with the frenulum to extend it. Thank you so much for the well wishes!

@JoCat aww thank you so much for your kind words and I saw your comment on the members we miss thread, really touched me to know you think of us!
It has been tough but I think it has made us stronger! And yes I’m very interested to know what it will be like after he’s healed, he’s also getting a vasectomy too so in a couple of months there’ll be no more condoms too.
Yes he is still able to masturbate but it’s an adapted version which I never knew cos his is the only one I’ve touched :joy: so we do have fun with it but only he knows how to do it completely painlessly.

@Mr_Mrs_0 thank you! I’m so relieved for him, it’s been a rollercoaster but hopefully the end is in sight and he’s going to have his mind blown :joy: i appreciate the well wishes thank you!


Lordy @mrssaffa!

Wow. What a journey and a discovery.

Your husband’s penis is in our hearts and prayers tonight.

It’s great to hear how well you guys are doing in your love bubble.

Hope everything goes as well as can be.

I shall now light a candle.

Penis shaped. Of course :heart:



Great that this is soon going to be resolved, that is some journey you have both been on.

I guess the next step is a bulk order of lube from LH.

Wishing you all the best.

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@our-adventure-bed hahahah thank you! Maybe LoveHoney should get on to the penis shaped candle thing :joy::joy:

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@DLJL hahaha yes I think you might be right :joy: thank you for the well wishes!

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Definitely sending thoughts and prayers to your hubby’s penis, and glad for your sake to have some answers and hopeful for the resolution in sight!

I myself am just coming out of a minor struggle with some ED so I empathize. Just hit a point where I was having more frequent trouble cumming regularly until we had several days in a row where we had time to play and I just couldn’t get hard at all even with the desire there. Doing some reflecting and research, I realized I’d been on a daily max dose of ibuprofen since breaking my foot in December and I think it was screwing with my internal hormones, coupled with being on reduced activity and thus I could feel diminished aerobic health, coupled with February blahs and tired of dealing with pain and tired of being tired… I say all that just to say, getting to an answer is half the battle, even if it doesn’t resolve as quickly as one hopes. I’ve cut out my pain relievers, am finally able to move a little bit more, and have added in some supplements to help get my hormones back into whack, and after a couple weeks of that I am feeling much more of my old self.

Anyway. Hugs and good vibes sent your way! And the way of hubby’s penis!

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All the best to you and your partner. Big hugs as well. @mrssaffa

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@mrssaffa as a fellow penis owner it’s a pleasure to send positive penis vibes in your (well, your husbands) direction.

I was born with a foreskin that refused to grow properly and still have vague, distant memories of the surgery that was needed to make things aok. Thankfully mine happened as a young lad, well before it could interfere with any adult sexy-times etc … but it fills me with empathy for your poor guy and his pre-dick-ament :wink:

Your comments around having a toxic attachment to sex really resonated with me. I’ve been battling my own demons in this regard … it’s really heartwarming to read how you’ve been able to start conquering it and grow your connection during such a tough time. You should be really proud of yourself.

He’s not going to know what’s hit him once he’s all ‘fixed up’ … and hopefully neither will you :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

Love for the win!!!

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So glad you and your OH has found the root cause and a solution is in hand.

May his surgery and healing be quick and complete and you are both at it likes rabbits real soon.

Now you can’t tease us with this line and not give us a hint as to what happened or preferable all the details :wink:

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Thanks for the link @JoCat, thats the quiz I’d been looking for.

The Questionnaire for Turn On Initiation Preferences may be a good one to try too if you’re considering what works for you both.

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" Then I ruin it for myself because while we are having sex, I think “this is it for x number of days/weeks now” and even though he makes sure I am satisfied, sex just makes me more horny."

I can relate to this, when mine and my OH’s sex drive are at two different levels. I start thinking the same thing and then it creates stress for me. I want to make sure what we are doing is the best and try to do everything because I’m not sure when it will happen again. Usually it is not that long till the next time but usually not soon enough for my taste at those periods in our lives when we get onto different drive levels. More my problem than her’s. Like you I find sex makes me hornier. But I’ve found that if I have it like back to back then I’m OK for longer period of time.