I’m looking at some advice, me and hubby have been together 20 years, 15 of those were pretty much sexless due to my sexual trauma, I disclosed it finally 5 years ago.
Once I finally opened up about it, I’ve had therapy, still in counselling once a week now. We started to have sex for the first time, and learning what we enjoyed etc, which was fantastic, but naturally in life I am very addictive person, and I became addicted to the sex. We had sex all the time, I’d become anxious if we didn’t.
October 2020 I joined an adult website and I work as a web cam performer, which has had put our marriage into a massive strain, he became aggressive, and at times abusive. Then throw in a sudden death of my mother in law and things were bad. I did become withdrawn, nervous, anxious as his behaviour was erratic at times. I will be honest and say I’ve struggled to trust and move on from this.
With all that’s gone on, my husband doesn’t touch me sexually at all, and no matter how many times I say that I need to warm up for sex he just doesn’t get it, how do I make him listen? I feel like I’m nagging, he has no feelings in his fingers, and so he can’t use his fingers on me, as he can’t feel how hard he’s pushing, he’s not a fan of giving oral either. I also can’t use fingers, due to my sexual trauma.
What are my options here? Without upsetting him?
My poor bits can’t cope with much more dry penetration.