Believe me Lucas I have done that very thing…I am not angry at her, nor myself and I blame no one… I have tried really hard to communicate with the OH and sometimes I think she understands what I am talking about and other times I draw a blank…I stopped a long time ago trying to convince her about my desire for oral sex with her…we have a great family relationship, lots of fun times…but I just feel that our sex life is just not where it could be…She knows how I feel about certain kinks and I dont pressure her into accepting my way of thinking or my sexual desires…All is well…its just me here venting my own frustrations…Thank you for all your replies…
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@southernstar you’re welcome my friend. I appreciate your battle and really do empathise.
I’ve been with my wife over 20 years. We only started truly talking openly about sex together a few months ago. I felt hopeless for a long time - I started reading, asking questions, and I found a way.
I wish you all the best!
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Thanks Lucas…How did you start talking to your wife about sex??? what exactly did you begin discussing with her??I have tried talking to my wife , but she also says sex is a subject that is better left under the sheets…I have never asked her to do anything to me…I just love performing oral on a woman and it sorta defines who I am sexually… I have mentioned us using sex toys and she did not warm up to that idea either… I too have read and studied all the things that sex experts say to do when having sex with your wife/partner…plenty of kissing and foreplay…Any how, best wishes to you and your OH…
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Honestly, I’m not sure when the first conversation was or what it was about exactly. I’d talked about my desires on and off over our marriage a fair bit … but it got to the point where I was tired of getting nowhere.
I recall changing the focus away from what she wasn’t doing, and focussed on how I felt. There were definitely tears, and have been more since. I wasn’t blaming my wife, just being extremely honest about how hopeless I was feeling, and what I felt was important to me to feel happy in our relationship.
It’s been crucial for my wife to see that it’s not me still just being a horny guy … that it impacts me emotionally. But also to hear that she’s not to blame, and that she has the power to make me happy.
It’s also been important to call my wife out when I’ve needed to. She often says things like “it’s just the way I am”. But that’s a defence mechanism. Everyone is capable of change, if they care enough to try.
Some of our conversations have not been fun. It’s been really tough. We’re still working on things, and we have really good and really bad days.
But we’re in love. I had to trust that, if my wife truly loves me as much as I love her, that she would eventually hear me. Things aren’t perfect yet at all, but I have more hope now … especially because my wife has been able acknowledge that fear has been holding her back.
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My wife loves receiving oral,some days she says she enjoys more than penetration.She says there is nothing better than holding a mans head between her thighs with both hands as her orgasm rips through her.
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mmmmmm, I can just picture her doing that…holding your head between her legs as you lick her…what a fantastic moment that is for you…
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Love OH holding my head down as I give oral, pushes her thighs together and or puts her fingers in alongside my tongue. All I can say is mmmmmmmm wow rewards for both of us.
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