Let me try and set the scene: we’re a happily married couple, 27 years together and in our mid-50’s. We’re both professionals, with busy jobs and family commitments, teenage kids etc.
Our sex life is generally very good but we’re both conscious of being something of a product of a generation that kept sex and all things related to it, quiet and under wraps. This has made us realise that in many ways, we’re quite inhibited.
We both have a desire to explore more and be more openly sexual with one another, not necessarily physical, but with things like sexting, exchanging photos and being more open about our desires.
But often, the inhibitions can get in the way and what the heart may want, the head has other ideas!
How do you you go about switching your mindset and losing a few inhibitions and become more free?
I grew up in a household where sex was not talked about and it was expected to wait until marriage. I did. And by doing so I placed a lot of taboo on my sexuality until I was 26 and to the point where I’m still figuring out things now.
What has helped me is my partner being open and approachable, journeying with me together.
Open conversations with him, this forum, watching shows like how to build a sex room, and our spicy app that gives us suggestions and we swipe yes or no, so the other can see what is a green light.
It’s a journey I’ve found, and as time has gone by I’ve become more open and less closed off to things I’d previously scold myself for even thinking about.
Don’t pressure yourself but at the same time take the little leaps, send the texts, get the app, and keep the conversations flowing
were these your first photo uploads? hopefully more to come, if not on here at least swapping with each other.
My OH and I have done many photo shoot and videos, together and solo. I made a solo compilation for her before I had to leave on extended work travels. She LOVES to watch me pleasure myself and I her.
Yes, first time in showing these to anyone other than ourselves. We take some, not many and are looking to do a few more as a way of recognising our own sensualities etc
We were just the same and it took us till 3 years ago (after being together for 45 years) to talk openly and honestly about what we both wanted or needed.
These last 3 years have been glorious. Absolutely out of this world. The best sex of our lives. We’re enjoying things we would never have dreamed of 5 years ago.
LHF has helped me understand that everything is ok. Just need to talk about stuff. About 2 weeks ago i asked the forum about masturbating in front of OH. The replies pushed me to do it. Felt so so awkward. Think I popped him out for a rub 3 times since. The other day I came in front room to find her legs spread playing with a toy. I sat, watched, then got mine out to. Now its normal and we both enjoy it. It was the hardest thing ive had to get over but well worth it. Im home for lunch to find she has taken a half day. Funny coz i was looking forward to a strum. She came in with a cup of tea and said she is going to clean the fridge. She said dont stop what you normally do. Go on LHF or whatever… giving me a grin and clenched fist wanking motion.
I was in this situation years ago and one day we started texting each other and it was easy to text over talking - this took into such a different way if loving and would never look back
It’s all about talking to each other. Take your time with small changes, toys, sexy lingerie, sexy talk etc. Never tried texting/pictures/video of each other. But we’ve found we’ve surprised each other with what we do like and this has made our sex life more erotic. OH now has several toys, watches porn and enjoys me in women’s lingerie!!
You definitely have to discuss where you want to go with your sex life. It may be worth you both listing things that you want to try. Compare lists and where you have both listed something there is your starting point. The more diverse items on your lists can then be discussed and you will no doubt agree to try out some of them.
Sex is an adventure that you both can experience. We wish you both well in your journey to new sexy discoveries.
