Hi all, my partner cannot have sex anymore due to it being painful and very uncomfortable (a problem a lot of older women have - HFT not available to her) I have accepted that obviously but we would still like to enjoy intercourse.
I am wondering if there is some product that will ‘cushion’ or ‘protect’ her from my being inside her? That act of being ‘joined together’ in love making is very important to us. Any suggestions will be very welcome as we have tried just about every other way (positions/lubricants etc) Thank you
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While vaginal intercourse may be painful there are other ways to enjoy your sex life - consider oral sex of anal and while vaginal may be painful oral will be fun and possibly new to you both
If you insist on vaginal sex - ky jelly is still good or speak to your doctor or chemist where they can suggest other lubricants
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Guess for older women when they go through the changes they start to dry up down there and need some extra creams and stuff to help keep moist, so maybe have a look into what could be used to help with this and you may find the pain side of things improves 
Has she tried vagifem? It’s a topical oestrogen and is available over the counter at pharmacies - it’s not HRT and is a low dose so doesn’t affect hormone levels in the blood, it’s just enough to improve natural lubrication.
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Can you explain more about what you mean with this? Do you mean your length is hurting her?
Thanks for the reply JoCat, not the length just the ‘friction’ hurts her as - I believe - the vaginal walls become thinner and therefore become too tender?
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Hi, thank you for the advice. I believe she tried that but it didn’t work.
Hi, I had mentioned that we have tried various lubricants already… Anal is out of the question for her and we have had oral but, again, I mentioned that the physical act of ‘joining together’ is what cements our bond so it is a solution to that problem that we are looking for.
Thanks but I have mentioned that we have tried various lubricants already
Oh I’ve no idea then, I would put that question to a gynaecologist or menopause specialist as there surely must be something. It doesn’t sound like theres anything that you can physically do yourself if lube doesn’t help.
Ah sorry I must have missed that 
your best bet then is to consult a doctor if it’s something she would be interested in pursuing and they might be able to offer something useful.
I can not take HRT due to other medical issues. When I first started to suffer with what was later diagnosed as menopause symptoms it was during the first lockdown so I could only get telephone consultations. Basically the doctor broke down my symptoms and treated them one at a time. One of the things she said was the more sex you have the less painful it will become, her words ‘use it or loose it’. I know I was very lucky with my doctor, she gave me the time I needed during the appointment and really put me at ease, told me to tell her everything, not to be embarrassed as she promised me she had heard it all before and some. I was told to relax more, maybe start with a massage and not feel it has to go all the way. I was told to take a multi vitamin with iron and prescribed a couple of things for other symptoms which HRT usually help with, ie sleep being disturbed and very itchy skin.
Lovehoney also played a big part. We tried loads of different lubricants before deciding Liquid Silk worked best for me/us. Also we discovered Tracey Cox purple range of toys which are soft and mould to your body. Tracey Cox has a book about sex over 50 which Lovehoney sells.
It was a learning curve for us both, but we got there.
Hopefully you find something which works for you both very soon. X
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Thank you very much Honey-Bear. Very useful advice.
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Thanks AJSTAR. She has been to her doctor already.
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You are right JoCat - nothing physically can be done.
Thanks Kitty-Cat01. She tried vagifem but it didn’t help
Has she tried a cliterol suction vibe, perhaps trying this every other day or so might help with her natural lubrication before building to piv when she feels ready with plenty of lube.
Ah that’s good, least you can tick that off the list I guess
The itch I have feels like I have spiders crawling under my skin, not always in the same place, it moves around my body. I was tearing at my skin so much even in my sleep that I was often covered in blood.
The Doctor prescribed an alternative to soap and three different creams which I alternate so my skin doesn’t get used to one and then stop working. They are stored in the fridge. I also found wearing soft seam clothes like leggings rather than hard seams like in jeans helped.
Sorry, totally didn’t think. The creams stored in the fridge are called Epimax ointment, Isomol gel and Eurex cream
I had a steroid cream to begin with, sorry can’t remember it’s name. It was a bit of a catch 22 at the time as I was told it would help with the itch but not to use it on open scratches, at that point I looked like I had lost a fight with a clowder of cats.
I also have a pain killer cream for the joint discomfort called Voltarol Emulgel and a nasal spray for night time which changes as some are steroid based.
Walking chemist shop!
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