I love spontaneous sex, and quite often I think it’s the best sex. When it’s the heat of the moment and you just have to do it there and then! But I’ve been thinking recently, does anyone have set planned sex days and times? Kind of like a planned and set ‘date night’… but sex.
For example: every Sunday at 8pm, and you do something special but different (and planned) each time. Eg:
Tell her that I’m just going to go down on her the entire time
Tell her to wear a long coat with nothing on underneath it and we’ll go out for a ‘drive’.
Put the massage sheet down and get some oils out
Prepare a selection of toys and restraints I plan to use
Give her some hot clothes I’d like her to wear
Maybe it’ll last 15 minutes, or maybe we’ll end up there for 2 hours, but because we’ve set that time aside we can take our time. I can keep some things secret until 30 mins before too, to make it more fun.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently and before I suggest it to the wife wanted to see if anyone else does this, or has any thoughts in general. To be clear, this would obviously be in addition to random spontaneous sex, and not to replace it.
Thoughts, or suggestions welcome.
I think that it maybe is a bit of a dominant thing if you go in line with my examples and suggestions I used above, but doesn’t have to be eg we just carve some time out of the day, make an effort to look nice, and just take some extra time to do things that you don’t on a weekday eg massage etc.
Just thinking out loud here.
We have sex every morning that we don’t have the grandkids. That’s usually 3 or 4 days each week. We usually play till 11.00 or so on these days with hot drinks before and breakfast in bed afterwards.
We both know in advance when those days are and it takes away and doubts about whether it will happen or who is going to initiate the sex.
Sunday day is the day I shave her then give her oral orgasms and rim her while she masturbates but all the other days are completely random.
When we’re on holiday or away for a few days we have sex every day as a minimum. Again nothing specific is planned but we both know that we will be having sex so it takes away any uncertainty.
Every Wednedsay is our play time. Depending on the mood depends on the activity .
This week the plan is for wifey to wear her butt plug all morning and see what happens later!!!
Though we always plan that Wednesdays are our day - we dont always plan the activity. Sometimes its a quickie other times its a marathan session.
Planning does not work for me as my sex mood changes all the time - early afternoon I may be in a snuggle mood - with pampering and oils - but come 10 in the evening I’m pegging my man wearing a dominatrix dress or spanking his bottom
We’ve tried to make plans for sex but every time we do you can guarantee something will come up, needing to work later, parents call for hours or coldsore so we have just agreed in the last week that sex is possible all the time just ask, it might take a massage for her to get fully in the mood but it’s worth it if it means more play time between us
The few days after my period ends is our ‘scheduled’ sex days. Not so much scheduled but just an unspoken agreement that we’ve settled into (I don’t like condoms). Our usual go to at other times is mutual masturbation and oral. Sometimes we do have sex with a condom, but rare.
We’ve enjoyed ‘planned’ sex time for quite a while now. It started when we were still working and it was just too easy to ignore our sex lives because we were too tired, too stressed, whatever. Planning helped us get round that. It also had the effect of creating a sense of anticipation in the days before, thinking about what we might do, might wear, where we’d do it etc. We found that build up of tension really heightened our enjoyment.
And so since we retired, we’ve kept it going, because we still enjoy that build up of sexual tension, and if anything it’s got sexier - we have more time to be ‘creative’.
But we also enjoy those spontaneous moments as well, when we’ve just got to go for it.
yes something always comes up, kids, people coming to visit, even falling asleep on the couch when kids are asleep we’ve learned dont plan just see what happens.
I like both spontaneous and planned. For example, every night, my husband usually plays with me in the garage for a few minutes when he comes home from work, and also before bed. Its pretty much expected and routine. Basic maintenance for my system. We have spontaneous sex occasionally, usually if I just need it really bad.
Oh, but a planned sex DAY is heaven. Or even just a trip with a planned sex component. I’m sometimes my husband’s designated road companion if he has to travel for work. I love truck sex and truckstop shower sex. At home, I’m often having sex with husband and female partners. If it is just him and me on a trip…then it is just the two of us. Hot, sweaty, boy-sex with no judgement.
We are a bit of both. We like some spontaneity and don’t have regular sex times in the week, however we’ll often decide that we fancy a session a few days ahead of time (normally when the kids are scheduled to be away), then we can prepare and tease one another, sometimes order something new to wear or new toys.
Tuesday is my “me” day when the OH is out all day. Love to experiment in different ways to masturbate and orgasm. Lots of edging and holding back for as long as possible.
yes something always comes up, kids, people coming to visit, even falling asleep on the couch when kids are asleep 
we’ve learned dont plan just see what happens.