There may be some underlying physical or metal issue, talking to your doctor might help. At the end of the day you might get some viagra so you can just keep on going . (If not, genuine advise/help)
What do you mean sex lasts "a couple of minutes"?
Are we talking from first snog to post-ciotal ciggie, or is it just the penetrative portion?
I'd work on your "stamina", sure, but not with dry sheets! What you have to do is control yourself (actually it's more about self-awareness) in a warm, wet, tight environment. Simply bringing yourself off in the time-honoured fashion just doesn't compare.
And seriously, get your lady excited about foreplay - hands, bodies, mouths; talk dirty, dominate, tie, tease, spank - whatever it is you both like to do. Just make sure she gets the warm-up she needs, and join in for the last three minutes. Or if you've done your exercises, five!
Good luck!
HappyCouple wrote:
Wilkibo wrote:
Tim88 wrote:
Being a trumpet player i feel my skills orally are pretty good
LOL
Try not to scare off the new member by laughing at them! (Tho, I was thinking the same thing... trumpet player = blow... women = ... ok... that's enough teasing External Media)
I wasn't laughing at him (in fact I'm impressed), I was simply laughing. By the way, Tim88, do you know circular breathing? I imagine that would be useful for oral sex.
There is some major stress going on there boyo. I'd say that the psychological element of this is the biggest issue. If you are worried about the medical side then it may be a good idea to visit a doctor though. All this stress about it is just going to ruin any fun you might have, because instead of thinking "Wow, that orgasm was good, and she's happy," you'll beat yourself up for not lasting another five or ten minuites.
Sex isn't a competion and it isn't a play. There is no script that says "Flirt-one hour foreplay-one hour manic penetration-one hour cluddles-sleep." Having a few quickies in the day can be just as worthwhile as a day long tantric whatever. If, however, you are not satisfied with how things are in general, as well as the penetration side, then it may be a good idea to sit down and have a proper chat about what is worrying you, and what you might like to change or try.
I don't know if this is far fetched, but maybe your oral skills are just a bit too good? If you go full throttle with the tongue action right from word go, it's no wonder she is cutting things short. Maybe try a bit more teasing?
Masturbating by humping the bed is actually pretty common also. I'm not a fan personally because It just doesn't do anything for me, but I have tried it a few times. People find loads of ways to pleasure themselves. There is a masturbation thread floating about where people talk about starting off by rubbing on stuffed animals ect. It's not unusual at all.
Variety is the spice of life though, so you could try just mixing it up a bit and trying some different things?
All in all, make sure that you are having fun, because turning sex into a problem is just as bad as any you can start off with.
If things are really getting you down then you could see a sexual therapist. It would probably be private as there aren't many on the NHS but they are extremely helpful and are easier to talk to especially if you've got an old fashioned GP who tells you not to worry about things (gee thanks....).
Tim88 wrote:
I'm almost sure i'm also making more of a mountain out of it then she thinks. I guess its that pathetic... Urghh i am man, let me provide, here me roar, i will provide you with multipul orgasms, etc... I feel like i'm slipping down a slope as i've always been worried about size!
This is the problem my boyfriend has. When he is under a lot of stress, usually caused by uni work piling up, it starts to affect his sexual ability, and that makes him slightly depressed, and it turns into a vicious circle. Is there any stress in your life? Or it may be an anxiety problem. Either way, go and see a GP, even just for peace of mind. You are more likely to believe them if they tell you it is perfectly normal, than any of us. It's more likely to be psychological, rather than physical, but sometimes psychological problems are harder to sort out. It does not make you any less of a man, PinV is NOT the only way to please your partner sexually. You have to get out of the mindset that most men have which is that PinV is imperative to the definition of sex.
I agree with what MissTerryCleavage has said about cutting out PinV for a session, or more. I'm trying it with my OH at the moment. With all his uni work done, and the long rest he's getting over the winter holidays, I'm hoping things will be better when he gets back on monday. And I also agree with the masturbating or ejaculating from a HJ/BJ before you try PinV. It works, trust me.
Hope this helps hun xx
This actually make quite alot of sense... i graduated last summer, started full time work in retail, got a internship for 6 weeks for a PR company, managed some how to get a job out of it, spent the best of 3 months sleeping on friends floors, staying with a random friend of my mums on twitter (long long story, desperate times) and eventually moved into a flat in london. Living on a ridiculously small income in an expensive town now with very few friends whilst my girl friends studies... sadly i feel like i spend more time trying to support her when actually some times i just want her to turn around and say it'll all be okay! I think this may be the cause... i really hope so. Shes quite unintensionally selfish though, i dont think shed take too well to me telling her im stressed as its usually about her and not about me!
There does seem to be alot of stress there, maybe you need to take a step back and look at the problems from a 3rd person point of view and evaluate it all.
Once the stress has calmed down and you feel settled, it may all begin to fall into place. My husband has had these kind of issues and we have worked through them, he still has the issues, i just need to be there for him and reassure him when he is feeling self conscious. Would it be worth talking to your girlfriend and explaining your fears? Even though she may seem selfish at times, maybe she is unaware of the situation, and maybe talking to her will make her notice what you are going though and she may offer her support.
I can see why you are getting down about it, but these are incredibly common issues, and although it may not feel like it, many people have them and overcome them everyday, and one day soon you will be one of those guys who overcome their problems.
Keep your chin up, it can only get better