Thanks - hadn’t even thought about being on my side.
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Definitely some good advice above! @DaveT69 I’d recommend (for starting prostate massaging without a sex toy) the below for helping you to work towards your first prostate orgasm:
- Take your time, set aside 30 min or an hour, as it will take this long to get into the right head space to have a prostate orgasm (which is 80% of the focus, the other 20% is on rubbing the prostate)
- Use LOTS of lube, you will need it and please be careful to not hurt yourself with your fingernails
- Make sure you get in a really turned on mood, if you’re not VERY turned on nothing will happen
- For me personally, the prostate is not as far in as you might think, it’s literally only an inch or two inches inside your anus and tilted upwards, do not be tempted to go any deeper as that will likely only hurt yourself (or you’ll find other things you don’t to find in there haha) and do take your time to find the prostate, which will enlarge as you get more turned on
- Clean up properly afterwards, if you have multiple wet prostate orgasms you will get very messy haha so do set aside time for a shower and clean up of yourself afterwards
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Thank you - great advice. I assume most people use their middle finger and that “regular” lube is fine as well. So not to sound stupid but this is “virgin” territory. When one orgasms from the prostate - where does it release - I assume penis but rather ask than be “what the hell” later on.
Is there anything else I need to do to ensure I am “careful”
Thanks so much.
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Yes definitely either your middle finger or index finger and I’ve only ever used ‘regular’ lube and that’s been absolutely ok!
Very good question, there’s actually a few different types of prostate orgasm:
- Wet prostate orgasm - This is easiest to achieve, but slightly less strong than a dry prostate orgasm, your penis could be still flaccid for this (mine is) and you have an ejaculation without semen (so just the prostate fluid) come out as you orgasm, this is the messy one haha!
- Dry prostate orgasm - this is harder to achieve and takes longer to get there (including dodging having wet prostate orgasms) and basically you have a full body orgasm for a long time (30 seconds to a few minutes) and there is no ejaculation
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Also I assume that having a “regular” orgasm during this doesn’t necessarily interfere with a prostate orgasm or should make sure I don’t orgasm prior
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For me, the key for prostate orgasms is to NOT touch your penis at all, not one bit, for me and others it’s very common to not even have an erection during the whole process of massaging your prostate. So keep away from it haha but definitely a quick penis orgasm (sometimes coupled with a last prostate orgasm) is a great way of wrapping up a session, as that kicks in your refractory period (or you’ll in theory stay turned on and keep wanting/having prostate orgasms haha)
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OH wow - good to know !! thank you so much - this sounds like this is fantastic. Will see what we can do.
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Good luck! Last thing I’d strongly recommend is definitely make sure you’re turned on, as turned on as you can be, or otherwise nothing will happen! You’ll only start having prostate orgasms if you’re massaging the right spot and in a VERY turned on mood, which will cause your prostate to enlarge and after a while you’ll hopefully then have your first prostate orgasm!
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Great to know. So it sounds like perhaps a little abstinence and then really get in the mood - watch something hot, etc - thanks!!
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Top advice @UKlovingcouple I have been reading your extensive posts on the NJoy. I might make this am ambition for 2026, a prostate orgasm without touching my penis. Do you think using a toy is more likely to achieve success?
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Definitely a great ambition for the year ahead haha! I’d 100% recommend using a sex toy, it is much more tricky with just your fingers! I’ve tried lots of different toys for prostate massaging (from normal dildos to the Njoy pure wand to prostate massagers) but for me personally the Lelo Loki Wave 2 (which I bought on offer, it’s not cheap) is the absolute best for me! But even starting with a cheap dildo would be a significant improvement to using your fingers, it doesn’t need to be long (as the prostate is not far inside the anus) and if you can buy a sex toy specifically for prostate massaging that would be a bonus!
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Great thanks
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You should run workshops!! 
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Hahaha I’ve genuinely considered running an online course as it took me a good few months to work it all out 
Or recording a tutorial video to share online, as there’s some guidance online but very little step-by-step guides other than on forums like here and Reddit
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Hi, i just need a few tips if your up for it. I have several prostate vibrators and a glass bead dildo ( Which i have only used once), and even though yes does feel pleasurable at times i never seem to have a prostate orgasm.
There has been a few times where i thought i was getting close and my breathing was getting heavy and my heart started to race, but then it just tappers off into nothing.
i have had a couple of orgasms where it has mostly been prostate focused mixed with some normal penis play and i feel a slight build and ejaculation in the time i was not using penis play but i don’t know if it was triggered because of that or not.
I have been chasing a prostate orgasm for multiple years and even though it is rare i actually get to use my prostate massages i still haven’t been able to have a standalone prostate orgasm.
Any tips would be grateful thank you.
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Very happy to help! That’s very interesting and to try to be as helpful as possible I’ve summarised my key thoughts below:
- When you are in a masturbation session with the focus on having a prostate orgasm, do not touch your penis (only masturbate your penis once you have had your prostate orgasms and want to finish the session with a penis orgasm)
- Set aside 30 min to 1 hour for each prostate masturbation session, you need to be 100% relaxed, very turned on and not stressing about getting to your orgasms quickly
- The sex toy you use does make an impact, I’ve tried lots of prostate sex toys and for me having a prostate sex toy that I can hold in my hand and direct specifically onto my prostate is very important, so I use the Lelo Loki Wave 2 and Njoy wand every time, practicing with different prostate sex toys is helpful in working out which works for you
- Make sure you use lots of lube and that you keep putting on lube throughout your session
- MOST IMPORTANTLY, the prostate is located only an inch inside your anus titled upwards, if you are not gently (then building up to more vigorously) rubbing specifically that single spot over a sustained period of time you won’t have a prostate orgasm, also (and this is difficult to explain) you need to almost “push out” your prostate when rubbing it, I don’t mean anything dramatic, literally when you’re rubbing it try to use the muscles in your body to very slightly push your prostate back into the sex toy, it’s hard to explain but it really is important and necessary to push you from where you are to having prostate orgasms
I’d be very happy to help with any other advice! Key takeaways above are don’t touch your penis, set aside a nice chunk of time, use lots of lube, focus specifically on your prostate and make sure you’re very turned on and relaxed 
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I think it’s a lost cause 
I’ve tried everything and can’t orgasm through prostate play. I’ve tried multiple toys, pegging, massage but still get nowhere. I’m starting to think I don’t have a prostate ha ha.
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What a fantastic reply and great info @UKlovingcouple . This is my number one aim this year, to achieve a prostate orgasm. It’s something I’ve never attempted and I’m really excited to start exploring. I’ll be coming back to your advice plenty of times.
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The prostate super orgasm is also my main quest for 2026 and I must report back at some point on my activity so far this year. @UKlovingcouple is a great source of info on this subject
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Awesome! A very exciting aim for the year! Definitely do come back to this topic with any questions or advice, we’re always happy to help where we can!
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