Q&A With Lifestyle Submissives (48 HRS!)

Off-Topic Chat
31

Great answer by @Tenshadesandme as always. We love body writing as part of our degradation. He writes things like ‘cum bucket’ ‘slut’ ‘whore’ and gets me to read them out to him through the scene. You could do something similar and when she protests tell her to read them out and remember what she is and do as she’s told. You could also use it as a form a punishment. If youre doing impact for example… you tell her not to move or make a sound etc and if she does its 30 secs of oral. Its her punishment and your reward. At 23.41, thats all I can muster from my tired brain

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32

I love doing the mirror opposite of this. If you want to wind a Dom up, not squeaking when they want you to squeak is a surefire way to do it :rofl:

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33

I agree entirely, although its all according what the consequences are. I tend to be more compliant if my orgasm is at stake :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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34

Those who want to see tomorrow know better than to deny me my orgasms. I’m lovely… apart from when I’m sexually frustrated :joy:

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35

Thanks Elena. I might. Although I might do something longer form based on it instead. You see, they made me think, and basically, I had a silly cow type moment.
The thing is I’ve always said there isn’t any dom/sub in our relationship, that we are equal partners etc. And I truly believed it.
So my “duh” moment was simply this. “Hold on, you have a list of specific men who can fuck you when they want, how they want, without asking. How much sub do you want?”
And that then led onto looking at other of my behaviour, things I just had labelled as “being a good wife” that are perhaps somewhat subby themselves.
And then, even more, I’m confused about stuff. Like you said:

Why would I want to wind him up? I do my best to be a good wife, probably a good sub. I’m confused, as that seems more playing sub than being sub.

So am I. But if he doesn’t want me to cum, I’m not cumming. I get uber lovely to him. That seems very subby.

So is each thing subby or not? Is subby my natural state because I finally found a man I can be myself with, rather than being hard because no one else would?

Questions, questions, because of course, your idea of sub is probably different from mine, from what my idea was and from what I think I’ve become.

So all in all, thanks for just confusing the fuck out of me, Elena. :rofl: :rofl:

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36

Oh Mira, let’s be clear about something. Submission is how you make it, with your partners. What works for you, nevermind what anyone else thinks!

I know another blogger like you, the blogging friend I’m working with on this collab post. Shae is a sex slave, deeply submissive, in a high protocol, dual Owner relationship and seemingly very happy that way. That’s great! That works for her.

I am not a sex slave: I’m a service submissive, I could also never do high protocol (or free-use, like you have). Although I enjoy sex (very muchly!), my greatest pleasure is in how I can serve my Dominant counterparts, in all things. I try my best to be a good wife too, but for me, being a good wife is akin to being a good submissive, and if my Sirs want me to be my fun and playful self, who am I to deny them? I can sass my pants off and still make a good sandwich :wink:

Winding them up? Both of my Sirs like a fun submissive; that’s something they like about me. Yeah, sure, actions and their consequences, Newton’s third law, yaddah yaddah. I’m quite masochistic, so it’s mutually beneficial because I enjoy being spanked. Some many Doms enjoy spanking a submissive too, so that’s a scene and a dynamic that we all have fun in. It’s only really bad if a submissive uses being bratty to manipulate a Dom, or doesn’t stop when asked to, or doesn’t apologise if something hurts. If you’re respectful of one another and your agreed boundaries? It’s all gravy.

So really, your submission is however y’all want it to be, and you’re not more or less submissive because your submission looks different to mine, just as mine is not more or less because it looks different to someone else’s. Submission is how you feel in your heart, and if you choose to serve and obey (even with a boatload of sass sometimes :wink: ) , that’s all that really matters :slight_smile:

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37

Thanks for the detail Elena, most helpful. I’m certainly like Shae in that I’m very happy with where I am. I’m definitely not high protocol, definitely not a service submissive, definitely sub, might well be a sex slave. I’ve also realised all the things my husband does that is totally part of being a great dom (although he calls it being a great husband).

I’m going to stop now. I’ve derailed this thread enough. Looking forward to yours and Shae’s answers. And one day, I’ll write a blog post about all this. About where I am and how I got here. And I’m still on a journey, so where might I end up? :heart: xx

38

That’s the beautiful thing Mira, we adapt, we learn, we shift, we grow. You’re clearly having fun and clearly happy (and loved) where you are, why change anything? :heart: xx

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39

My post as promised you lovely people. I hope you enjoy :blush:

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40

Very interesting read..

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41

Such a great read @Tenshadesandme :blush: Also what you said hits home with me because of my childhood and a similar experience with my sibling :heart_hands:

My favourite part was - ‘Deny my orgasms at your own peril. Christmas is coming up, your balls will look great covered in glitter and hung up on my tree’. - I laughed way more than I should have :rofl:

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42

I like to be clear about my boundaries, there can be no confusion then :joy:

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