Took me 15 years from start to finish.
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I do think lots of people have this misconception that menopause is done and dusted in 4 to 6 years. For many women it’s a decade or much more and not all women can take or want to take HRT.
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You are so right and i was not prepared to risk taking HRT after seeing what happened to other women i knew at my age then. I was lucky my libido returned, not sure it does for everyone though.
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Menopause and peri menopause have a lot to do with it, plus you might just be stuck in a rut.
Your 40’s is well established as the least happy time in most peoples lives (not anecdotal, actual scientific, peer reviewed studies have been done). Busy lives, youngish kids, parents getting older, careers, maybe earning well but not wealthy, high mortgages, school fees, pulled from pillar to post all day every day to keep all the plates spinning… many are trapped on a bit of a hamster wheel in their 40’s, hardly a sexy time of life!
Does any of that sound familiar?
My wife found HRT a game changer. Also she found these books INCREDIBLY helpful. We are not your typical ‘self help’ book kind of people, we are very skeptical of a lot of these sort of things but this set was recommended by one of her friends who is a psychologist and they were incredibly helpful. Between these books and the HRT our sex life has been fantastic the last few years (for a dull middle aged couple with hectic lives and young kids anyway!)