My wife doesn’t want to have sex anymore. We’re both in our 40’s. If we do engage she wants it to be a quickie with no kissing. I don’t understand why? I don’t think I would go out of my marriage but I want to enjoy sexual pleasure. I miss having my cock sucked. She also doesn’t want to wear any of the many sexy thongs she has. Is it menopause? I apologize for the prude comment. She definitely not a prude. Just fuckstrated.
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We are in our fifties and been married for 30+ years, sex over time changes and you adapt. As much as I love giving oral to the OH, she doesn’t like doing it and that is fine.
We still have regular sex, but possibly not as much as when we were younger and certainly not in as many places.
I think that perhaps and I am not being judgemental, you need to focus a little more on why she has stopped wanting to have sex and a little less on not getting a bj from her.
It could be the start of the menopause and she has lost her sex drive. It could be a myriad of things, but only by asking will you find out. The way you describe it at the moment it seems as though she sees it as a duty, rather than something to be enjoyed.
Relationships go through peaks and troughs, perhaps a night away might help or to spend some quality time where sex isn’t the end goal and get to discuss why her attitude to love making has changed.
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Menopause can start in a womans forties so that is something to consider. I know when it happened to me i did not want sex as the menopause made me feel awful it got to a point my husband thought i was seeing someone else. The thing is it was difficult for me to explain why i had gone off sex. Having now gone through the menopause i have now got my libido back and am now horny most of the time. It is a difficult time for women and as a result for their partners as well. My husband stuck by me and we are now closer than ever. I think you need to have a good talk to one another. I know during menopause a woman can experience difficulty in achieving an orgasm so having sex is less enjoyable for her. Do you use any sex toys for her? If not it may be worth introducing some to make it more enjoyable for her.
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Wow! “…a prude.” That seems a horrid way to talk about your wife.
Perhaps you should talk to her about why she has lost her libido rather than selfishly thinking about blowjobs 
If you read a few posts on this forum you might understand that women stop wanting sex for lots of reasons. You’ll also read that the most productive way forward is with love, consideration and communication.
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Yeah i thought “prude” really? but didnt go there. You know how i can get when i get the bit between my teeth. 
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I definitely think we’re only seeing one side of the coin here. I know my husband would never refer to me as a “prude” — men who love and respect their wives don’t do that.
So I’m thinking maybe that’s why? She might not feel respected by you. By the sounds of it she’s still happy to meet your needs but she’s essentially fallen out of love with you. Maybe if you showed her some love and respect and made her feel valued, regardless of the sex she gives to you, she might actually come to desire you again.
Just a thought.
By the way I’ve edited your title to keep your question in line with the forum rules 
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A quickie with no kissing…the thing you first think is that means “I miss having my cock sucked”
Mmmmmm…
Is sex all about you and your pleasure and she’s just had enough?
Calling her a prude before you talk about what’s happened or what’s not been happening isn’t fair on her. You need to talk out of the bedroom and be prepared for what you may hear…
Good luck
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I have noticed in some of your other posts you have mentioned about her drop in sex drive and her not giving blow jobs anymore unless you ask and you said that it seemed to be all about her. The way you talk about her suggests that you think it should all be about you, when it should be about both of you. You said your wife was not a fan of blow jobs but did so because you liked it. Maybe it has got to a point where you expect it every time and she now feels it is a chore and has started to resent you for this. Is there anything that you do for her that she particularly likes, or could there be something that you do that she doesnt like? Just a thought.
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I’m not surprised to be honest, if and when you talk to your wife please put some thought in how you approach the conversation, and not say it how you wrote it down - disrespectful
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Have you talked to her about this? Might be down to how she feels about herself or menopause…
I know that it sounds that way but one of my favorite things when we would have sex was the foreplay. I love eating her out. I could do it all day if she would let me. I used to make her cum just by using my tongue on her. I miss that the most. The sweetness taste of her pussy.
I didn’t even bother replying for that reason @Wood-Nymph 
I’m so surprised since joining here how many relationships or marriages, people don’t talk about things or communicate in general. If I had a problem in my relationship the last thing I would do is run to the Internet and talk about my oh behind his back. But that’s just my opinion.
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Flagging this for moderation @Ian_Chimp @MsSubExperimenter @Lovehoney_Brenna . I revised the asker’s post title earlier to bring it in line with the forum rules (title was previously “question for married women”, which I understood is against the rules, so I changed it to “question about married women”). The title has since been edited again to “Question For Married Women Over 40”, which I revised again as it again singles a group out.
Please can someone moderate, thank you 
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Yes i know what you mean communication is the most important part of a relationship. We talk openly and honestly about everything and will try most things within our relationship (others are not welcome) Its a shame some people dont feel they can talk to their partners about intimacy.
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I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve asked my husband “shall I try on the forum?”. When I say “the forum” he just knows where I mean 
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We have no way of knowing whether the problem is related to menopause or not, because we don’t know your wife!
It could be menopause, but the way the question has been asked makes me think it’s a problem with the relationship outside the bedroom.
Sex can disappear for many reasons, and yes menopause could be part of that, but its more concerning the no kissing, getting it over with, isn’t addressed. You see it as she’s not interested, talk to your wife, it could be much more, resentment springs to mind. You might find you need to look inward and ask what you can do to help/change your part in the relationship. Talking is the way forward.
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You could be on the right lines with “resentment.” If she isn’t getting the pleasure she’d like from sex, she’ll hardly be enthusiastic.
That said, if she isn’t communicating her needs she is partly to blame.
There is most certainly a communication break down. That break down needs to be addressed in a careful, loving way.
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She could be perimenopausal at this moment in time. My wife is touching 43, and she’s just started going through this stage. Shes also started on the HRT patches, these seem to help her a little bit. There’s a lot on offer to help a woman’s libido, it may be worth having a heartfelt conversation on both your feelings, and express your concerns. Give her some support and go to the doctors together to see what they can do to help. Stay strong with your relationship, as menopause will pass and she’ll get her libido back, it may just change all of a sudden.
@Wood-Nymph that made a lot of sense. Not sure how long wife has had menopause ( too long if you ask me) been years. She has no real desire for sex, whereas i have a high sex drive. Glad you got over it and now feel horny most of the time. This site does help people in saying their true feelings. I’ve said stuff on here i’ve never said anywhere else - almost like a relief ( excuse the pun ) !
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