Im coming back to the feeling/realisation that im pretty much unwanted/not what people are looking for. Between age, looks, experience, etc im pretty much not what anyone is looking for. So ready to give up. Between dating apps, fetish sites and general life im getting no where. I think it may be time to accept the truth
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That is not a fun place to be. If you can…try putting away the cosmetic and find what makes you who you are as a person. I find for me what is iportant to come through is me all the other stuff is unwanted baggage. Put the energy you can work with out there and those that are looking for that energy eventually finds you.
That’s how I go about it. And until that person walks tyhrough the door my motto is:
S.W.S.W.SW.N! meaning Some Will..Some Won’t…So What…NEXT! I’m of the belief that nobody is unawantable it’s simply a matter of doing what you can do to stay up to present the best you until that person comes along. May be trite but its worked for an old, ugly guy like me for decades.
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You are doing the right thing by talking about it. We are here to listen. Stay strong.
Hugs 
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I’m not allowed to think myself ugly. Even if I know there are better looking women than me out there, it’s against my D/s dynamic rules to talk negatively about myself. My other partner is a forum member, and my good friend @Spanky knows my husband too. So word will travel, and I don’t fancy getting reamed for that one 
When I met my husband, I wasn’t looking for love. When i met my other partner, I wasn’t looking for love either. I was happy being me, working or helping people – plain ol’ Elena.
Really, looking for love is probably the worst thing you can do: average single people don’t want average single people; they want stunners. So where does that leave average Janes & Joes? You got it – bottom of the pile.
Fetish sites too: I used to get cast off often as not being pretty enough,.not having big enough boobs, not being edgy or submissive enough. And you know what? Fine. I’m me, and I like me.
But someone(s) loved me when I least expected it, and I believe the same will be true for you 
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@zombifiedguy I think you need to give up on all these dating sites, and give yourself a break about dating someone, and when you feel you want to start do it the old skool way, without the internet,maybe bars clubs,or join some activities/hobbies,but don’t go in thinking about meeting someone to date,go in thinking about making friends first, Yes I’m old skool thinking that a friend is better and it might catch you unaware and develop into something quite special.
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@teacake I couldn’t agree more! Get away from the screen and get in places where people are living…not their homes or anything like that…but you know out amongst the pack. Real life living comes with opportunites.
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Dating sites and apps are BRUTAL especially if you are a man. No matter how unattractive you feel, just as long as you are a good person, there will always be someone out there waiting for you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Meet people by doing the things you love to do and you will find your person.
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@zombifiedguy Something your post made me think about. I’ve been to and hosted may kink events over the years and there was always a concern that came up from newbies and even regulars : Arn’t all the people having fun and gettin picked to play the pretty and handsome ones?
My answer, which proved itself over and over again was hell no. Very often “good on paper” just isn’t the thing that works. Mopst people who attend events and parties are just regualr looking folks. Dad Bods, Soccor Moms, a little extra pounds, Zaftig and proud, average looking to what some might consider not so good looking. It’s the world in a very small pond.
But the thing that was always encouraging was that no matter what someone looked like it was their energy, their perosnalities that made them popular. So many times I heard ”beautiful” gloing how did she/ he get them?!
It was because they just exuded good vibes they showed themselves to be someone looking to enjoy themselves and were comfortable in their own skin.
At the end of the day don’t we all people just want to be around people that make us feel good!
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I have tried so much. I go into situations hoping for friendship and anything else is a bonus.
I have no looks, no personality, no energy, no dreams, no skills etc. i dont know what to do anymore.
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Totally agree with others, forget dating sites/internet and get out to places, hobbies, sports, past times. You just need to meet people. Also forget fetish sites initially at least. Make yourself presentable and get out there and meet people.
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Maybe if you change your job you’ll be happier and meet new people in your new one? I’m sure you DO have a personality and interests and you can find common ground with other people.
What i will say, and please don’t be offended, is that you come across as very negative, and that can drive people away.
I know someone who is a total positivity vampire, they moan and complain about everything and nothing is ever good enough, even though their life is pretty easy and comfortable. I recently spent an hour in their company (not by choice) and I was ready to throw myself under a bus. This person has driven family and friends away because they don’t need to be sponges for all that misery.
So try and look at the glass as half full and be more chatty and maybe people will gravitate towards you.
Hope this helps.
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sorry
Have you tried the Facebook dating app as it has friendship not just dating. This way you could match with people and see if their hobbies are something you could get into.
I know I said keep away from online apps, but it could be useful and actually help you trying different hobbies.
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Never put it down to who you are as it’s fairly the same outcome for majority of us who’s still single. I personally think it’s how the modern world has become toxic to virtual living and fast paced.
I get guys all the time saying how gorgeous I am and I must be getting all the guys attention, then they refuse to believe I’m still single and never managed to get a relationship…
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You need to deal with things 1 step at a time.
From the toxic work environment you described, i believe seeking a new job should come 1st. We spend a lot of time at work, no point being miserable there.
The 1st step to getting a new job is to update your CV.
I’m sure we could potentially help with that too, perhaps in the member section.
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@zombifiedguy if there is a man shed near by go make some friends it does not matter if you can wield a hammer or know which screwdriver is used for what. Just go make teas and coffees and help out. Hopefully make a friend and find a little light in life.
And we are all here to talk.
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Keep talking. Often, simply writing stuff down can help you work through your thoughts and suggest things you can do. And theres so many people on here who are or have been in the same boat.
Do you have any hobbies you can ramp up a notch, join a club or advertise for people who are into the same ( I did that a while back and it worked. Its surprising how many people live closer than you think who’re looking for the same thing ). You might not immediately find a significant other but you never know where these things lead.
I’ve been in the same situation all my life. I accepted it decades ago. I just get on with it. Not much else I can do
Dude, I’m sorry you’ve going through this, and feel your pain. When I was young, I never dated, couldn’t get a girl, felt unwanted, had few friends. I eventually got hooked up with my ex-wife, because someone needed a second for a double date. I eventually married her, ( my first girlfriend).
That was a DISASTER ! Once divorced, I tried again…same story, felt the same lost like you. Eventually I signed onto a dating site for older adults, I did not post a photo of myself, and put in a brief description, plus some preferences of matches for me. I went a long time before I saw an interesting one, and tried to contact her , but was unable to connect. I finally messaged her directly, and we did manage contact. We spent 3 weeks, e-mailing each other, no photos, just text. We. Got to know each other without any knowledge of physical attributes. Then, made arrangements to meet in person, at a public venue, where we gave a description of what we would be wearing. This gave each of us a way out if we didn’t like what we saw.
We spotted each other, had a coffee and talked a while, and that was that. We have been together nearly 25 years now.
Point is, there is someone out there who will love you. Sometimes taking a different route will pay off. I hope you can take time to right yourself, spend time getting to find anything you like to do passionately for yourself, and do it. Once you are feeling better, ease your way back out , and hopefully something will click . Good luck, stay well.