Hey everyone! New to this forum and looking for some advice!
The last couple of years have virtually extinguished our sex life. The stress of the pandemic and other things have really taken a toll. That said, we do enjoy ourselves when we do have sex and it’s clear that we both miss it. We currently also have a young puppy who is driving us mad not sleeping on its own out of our room which is another issue to deal with!
So we have a week away in a cottage planned in a few weeks time. We aren’t taking our dogs with us so we will be completely alone and have no work stress. I’ve also recently stopped hormonal contraceptives and I am now horny basically all the time (although haven’t expressed this as such to my OH).
I’ve started to plan for when we go to basically shock our sex life back into action. I’ve picked up the following toys for use so far - wand, womaniser, lush 3, tenga egg and some jiggle balls. We’ve used the womaniser during a rare session and it was amazing. Have previously used a vibrating cock ring but OH said it was a bit weird. He doesn’t know about these yet - planning to just surprise him with these when we get there.
I was looking at the bondage beginner game as I think a game will help direct us plus I love the idea of it. I’m hoping to push my OH slightly out of his comfort zone with some semi public adventures as well. I tried to initiate sex on a balcony once at night on holiday but he wasn’t keen…think we can possibly find something he is comfortable with. This is something I’ve enjoyed in the past and to be honest I’m craving some excitement.
Honestly, I think you should stick with the toys you have already prepared. As tempting as it is to buy one of everything and try and go wild all week, It could all be too much for your OH (and you for that matter).
Keep it simple and reconnect with each other. Once you’ve kicked started your sex life, then look to adding extra elements. It’s important to lay the ground work first though
I do get that advice, I don’t think there will be any issue when we are away with actually getting going but I can’t face a week of just ‘nice’ sex which we do manage occasionally anyway. I know that must make me sound awful. Its a few weeks away so maybe I can work us up to it somehow? Or least part of the way there?
That’s a good idea actually, thank you, and yes it seems full on but we have other romantic things planned like vineyard tours and just having a lovely bubble bath together with some fizz. Phones are getting checked only for emergencies. There is no tv in the cottage either.
I’m away overnight tomorrow with work and tempted to try some saucy messaging to see how that goes. Honestly part of me is slightly concerned I’m just not desirable to my OH these days. I can’t decide if it’s that or we just have had a pretty shit time of things of late.
No not yet, it’s taken a couple of cycles to get to this point. I’d previously been on the injection which wasn’t helping me I think in addition to life stress. I’d been on it for years with no issues/lack of drive before now. But regardless of how I’ve been feeling OH hasn’t been initiating either much. I think we’ve both been a bit crap. I think both working from home for the last two years in stressful (but enjoyable) jobs has taken away some of the magic we had. We were married just prior to the pandemic and zero issues, other than I’ve always been a bit more adventurous, and then covid happened and now we’re practically like housemates. I don’t think it’s too far gone but I think it’s needs a rocket under it!
Hi and welcome @Ellewoods2906 is there anything that he has shown an intrest in that you haven’t tried yet? It may be an idea to start with that then it might take some of the pressure off him and add excitement for him, rather than trying to take him out of his comfort zone to soon.
This is my very unprofessional opinion. But I would slide hints his direction before the getaway. It can still be a surprise but you don’t want to catch him off guard. It can be very exciting to have all the new toys but remember to relax and communicate with each other. You could always add a “yes, no, maybe list” or a list of fantasies you both want to try.
And the patch you are going through is normal at that stage. Be confident in yourself. You never know, maybe he feels the same way you do and maybe is lacking confidence. Just reassure each other that the times have been weird and rough but you still have each other.
Sounds great! He’s a lucky dude.
This might not be right for you, but me and my wife had a night away from the kids in a hotel room a while ago and beforehand, we had a few conversations about things we would like to do and try.
I’m the most horny one in our relationship, so I shyly let her know about some stuff I thought would be great to do, and it got her thinking too.
In the end, we did everything I hoped for and more!
A few things she did that I loved were; trying on lots of different lingerie, dancing, massages, baths and showers together.
She had tons of orgasms with a bunch of toys (and a few positions with me inside her) but I have to keep myself under control (cos I’m 54 and after a big one, I’m toast - but will still play with her if she needs fingers and toys though)
Hope you have a great time together!
I think you should at least message when you’re away saying you’re feeling horny and wish he was there. Plant the idea in his mind then if you get a good response move on to saying you’ve become much hornier since stopping the contraceptives.
Do you/he like a good story? You could print out a few Literotica stories and have them ready for him to read to get him going. Try this post for some ideas if it sounds like an option: List Your Top Literotica Authors
So I didn’t quite get to sexy texts on my night away, crazy few days at work meant I wasn’t really in the mood myself. For the last few nights we’ve managed a pet free bedroom, although with some disturbance but getting there. I woke OH up with some touching once the beasts all seemed asleep which he seemed very happy about. Dog 2 barked a few times as could hear something was going on in this house - a bit off putting but managed to ignore and we (I) was making a conscious effort to be quieter.
It was very quick on his part (I did not miss out at all to be clear) but I think that’s just down to how little we get to it these days. Anyway I said after, oh we will have a whole week of this when we’re away in a few weeks time, so the seed is planted. Going to try and ramp things up a bit now.
So it’s two weeks until we go away now and I have been initiating things when we’ve had a chance and just reminding OH that we have a whole week of time just to ourselves with no work/pets/life stress.
Last night I got him to watch how to build a sex room. I couldn’t really tell if he was appalled or not or just found it awkward (it is a bit cringe at times) but I thought it was a good way of normalising just talking about these things as clearly they cater for a wide variety of things on that show.
He doesn’t know yet about the things I’ve bought for our week away so I might say I was inspired haha. I’m hoping to really focus on his side of the pleasure as well so he doesn’t feel like I think we’re not enough on our own. I’m thinking sexy massage to relax and just focus on touch? Guys what would you suggest?
Bit of an unexpected breakthrough last night…I was feeling a bit brave and well horny and mentioned that I’d acquired some things to use whilst we are away…I assured him nothing to make him feel uncomfortable but within minutes we were enjoying me lay with the LH nipple suckers, fifty shades Ben wa inside and the womaniser which we have used before. I was in heaven! The reaction from me using the Tenga on him said it all. A fabulous session of teasing and making each other come with toys. I told him in no uncertain terms exactly what I want to happen and he seemed very up for it. I can’t wait!