This is something I’ve been curious about and thought I’d ask on here. For couples who are in a same sex relationship and doing penetration is the giving/receiving partner always the same? Or do you mix it up like take it in turns? If it changes when do you discuss who it will be? Do you both take turns during one session? Sorry I have a lot of questions on this but have always been curious.
As there are so many ways to have sex, even when narrowing it down to penetrative sex (Whatever you definition of that is) you are going to get as many answers as there are options. Let’s be honest, even if relationships with 1 penis and 1 vagina the person doing the penetrating isn’t always the same.
I can attest to that, my wife certainly does a fair amount of penetrating (pegging) me 😂
That’s why I’m asking about same sex couples (not heterosexual couples).... I realise some heterosexual couples do pegging but that’s not what I’m asking.
And my answer (in terms of same sex couples) was/is that there are lots of different ways to have sex and so there isn’t one answer to your question. Some same sex couples will say that one of them is always the giver, some same sex couples will say that they take it in turns, some same sex couples will say that it depends how they feel in the moment, some same sex couples will say they swap during sex, some same sex couples will tell you they wrestle for control, some same sex couples will do Rock Paper Scissors, some may even penetrate each other at the same time, some may even have a different way altogether. My point was there is no definitive answer. My second point was that same sex couples are not unique in that respect.
If you took 100 Heterosexual couples though, the chances are it would generally always be the man doing the penetration and woman receiving. Yes there’s no definitive answer and some will be into pegging or using toys. I guess a better question is - if you take 2 men - how do they establish who the giving/receiving partner is, and when do conversations like that take place? If they’re doing it interchangeably then they must talk about that a lot more than a heterosexual couple where the roles are more clear, on average. It would be good to get replies from people who are in such relationships rather than speculating.
Having had lots of gay friends over the years I learnt this.
With regards to gay men, some are a "Bottom" and Some are a "Top". There are also those that are versatile, meaning they like to give and receive.
A "bottom" is normally passive, some times, I hasten to add not always, more iffeminate. There would be no need for discussing who would be on top in that scenario.
As with any relationship forming, gay men do actually discuss likes and dislikes. The question of who is "Top" or "Bottom" on a particular night does not come into question. Unless of course both males are versatile, in which case it becomes the same as a hetrosexual relationship, "Do you fancy doing this tonight" Sort of thing.
As said, I have had a lot male and female gay friends over the year's, my info is based on what I learnt from them.
Hope that helps with your question a little.
When I shag my female partner, sometimes she penetrates me and sometimes I penetrate her. We sometimes do both in the same session, and sometimes we stick to one role in the session. I like variety.
For balance, I do know a male couple that have definite roles, one is always penetrated and the other is always doing the penetrating.
I'm not helpnig, am I? :-D
It’s all interesting. If 2 heterosexual people went on a date and ended up sleeping together, it’s pretty obvious who the giver and receiver is. I know there’ll be situations where people do pegging, but generally it’s a given what role each person has. I guess my curiosity is because it’s arguably less obvious with a same sex couple, especially if it was a first date or beginning of a relationship. It’s interesting to know when those conversations take place like just before sex or if it’s discussed in advance. I guess there’s different answers for different people as has been said but I do find it interesting!
Gay sex is no difference to hetrosexual sex. You appear fixated on what convesrsations may take place between a gay couple.
Read the above comments, it answeres all your queries.
The only thing I’ve really got from this is there isn’t a specific answer. My point was that on a first date a heterosexual couple *wouldn't* usually have a conversation about it because it’s pretty obvious what role each person would take. @DanceswithPenguins You’re saying that this is “no different” with same sex couples. Personally I can’t see how they would just know without discussing it so yes that’s why I am interested in how it gets discussed and decided. I’m not asking to offend anyone I was just curious as I didn’t understand how it works.
Some couples have more formal type conversations before they have sex (or introduce something new in the bedroom) so it would just be a simple question like any other. Some couples go with the flow a little more so it may be more of a whisper in the ear of “I’d like to do this to you, would you like that?” Or “I’d like to be inside you, would that be ok?” Or something like that. I think a lot of gay men tend to put if they are top or bottom on their dating profiles (which only helps if that’s how they’ve met the partner but still)
I think what the other comments are saying is that a conversation between a same sex couple about what 'type' of sex they like is not really that different to the same conversation between a hetrosexual couple. In all cases they are just talking about what they like in the bedroom and all cases have endless possibilities including neither wanting to penetrated which is why it is an important and ever changing conversation for all couples and i'm not sure why you think it would be any different for a same sex couple. All couples will (should) establish preferences and then it is an ongoing conversation to see if anyone would like to try anything different.
We like to do both in one session. Of course if one of us doesn't have the right feelings down there that day then just one of us can top. We are also trying out new stuff like new dildos or a bit of sounding on each other.
My husband is a top and I’m a bottom...it’s all personal preference really. Some people are versatile and do both and some don’t :)