Hia!
So, i’ve recently been seeing this wonderful fella for a few months now. And he has expressed that would like to try anal. Im cool with this, I have done anal with a previous partner. Yeah the normal stuff happened like it hurted a bit getting it in,but it wasn’t unbearably painful.
But when me and my new fella tried. It just wouldn’t go in. His penis is larger and girthier than my last partner. But to no avail. We keep trying! Trying lube but that doesn’t seem to help.
Do I need to train? Should try something else?
Hey @Haywire yes I think training with some bum play solo or together sounds like a good plan.
If it’s been even a few weeks between sessions my bum feels out of practice.
Try and relax and take your time x
The key to good anal sex is being relaxed. When you start thinking too much about size and the penetration that’s when you can subconsciously start to tense up. Being properly aroused, and even having an orgasm first can help with this.
Also, are you doing any kind of anal play to start before progressing to anal sex? Using fingers or toys first will help get your body ready for his penis.
In terms of actual training, that’s up to you. It wouldn’t be a bad thing if you want to experiment with different sizes of plugs and dildos, with or without him. Maybe start with something that is slightly smaller than your ex and go from there.
A vote for training plugs here! We had the same, so we got some training plugs (not from LH so can’t link) so I could work gradually up.
Even now I will still chuck the middle one in before anal (if I know its going to happen in advance) to start stretching ready, and hubby has coined the small one for himself so not wasted!
I would suggest using some toys first just so you can get used to having something in your bum. Plenty of lube and really try to relax. We go some anal spray from lovehoney which numbs the area so makes it even easier to do anal.
Anal like keep saying it a marathon not a sprint anal training using toys and gd lube ie small butt plugs working up to bigger ones and fingers help as we had same thing we also found clit stimulation is a great relaxer for the anus and spanking and booty rubs
Just need to relax, plenty of lube, slowly start with 1 finger, then 2 and possibly 3 before the main event.
Or mix it up with a vibrating butt plug and when relaxed and turned on with loads of lube on the OH slide on in
I would definitely recommend looking into a relaxing anal lube. It really helped me when first starting off with anal play and still use it now if I’m struggling to relax myself.
Also a slimline anal dildo or buttplug may also help as others have suggested so you can get used to having something in your bum first
Defo try loosening up with a toy first before letting him plough right in as it’ll one get everything lubed up ready for him and two reduce any discomfort or awkwardness fitting his big boy in lol
This is the perfect training tool, I didn’t buy mine on LH, but I did used this product for several months and even years after it no longer stretched my hole, because I liked it so much. It was actually my first real dildo and believe me it felt amazing and with some solo play and tons of grinding on it, you will be loosened up back there in no time and ready for your new “big daddy”…I hope this helps https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/dildos/double-ended-dildos/p/doc-johnson-classic-jr.-double-ended-dildo-12-inch/a14776g16057.html BTW, it doesn’t have quite five inches of girth as the product description says, it’s a tiny bit smaller than that and works very well with a gel type water based lube.
Get a really good anal based lube sweets me and my girlfreind we use lube and just train the bum area, we have used anal butt plugs dildos and a few bondage stretching equipment anal isnt a great thing to rush into take your time breath in and out and help open up them walls @Haywire
Skimming through the other comments most of what I planned to say has already been said but wanted to chime in anyways First thing I would say is to not worry at all, this is completely normal. Warming yourself up before anal sex would help a bunch I’m sure. You could incorporate play with plugs with your partner, or fingers or other toys. Earlier in the day before sex with your partner you could put in a small plug, to get yourself relaxed and ready for the fun later. I found that technique to be a big help personally, also is a sneaky way to get in the mood and hold some sexual tension all day knowing you have this secret under your clothes. Relax, have fun, and don’t rush yourself!
First thing I would say is to not worry at all, this is completely normal. Warming yourself up before anal sex would help a bunch I’m sure. You could incorporate play with plugs with your partner, or fingers or other toys. Earlier in the day before sex with your partner you could put in a small plug, to get yourself relaxed and ready for the fun later. I found that technique to be a big help personally, also is a sneaky way to get in the mood and hold some sexual tension all day knowing you have this secret under your clothes. Relax, have fun, and don’t rush yourself!