Semen analysis

After 2 years of trying to get pregnant we now are able to be helped by our gp we have been referred to the fetility clinic but before that hubby is going for a sperm test.
Quite a long list of instructions for what is basically wanking in to a cup alot of which revolve around timings which we understand as after 1 hour the sample is not at its best.
It's been reccomended that the best sample is produced from around 10 to 15 minutes of masturbation after no more than 5 days of abstaining but at least 48 hours of no orgasm.
Our problem lies in the 1 hour window from production to delivery as no rooms are provided in the hospital the sample should be produced at home which is over an hour from the hospital. So it looks like a 15 minute session of self pleasure is required in the back of the car somewhere closer to the hospital in broad daylight as they only do morning appointments.

Has anybody else here had to do a semen analysis?What are your experiences?

Oh dear what a dilemma. Is there a hotel near the hospital where you could stay the night? This would probably be a better setting and easier 😊

Good luck 😘

Weve had experience of this in the past and i sympathise with your situation.
Agree with the idea of a hotel, as the most memorable time i had a sample we went to my parents house (5 mins walk to the hospital) when they were both at work.
My wife tied me over the dining room table and left me for 5 mins before returning in a PVC nurses uniform, fishnet hold up and high heels. After a thorough examination (inside and out) she wanked me into a pot.
I then had her over the table before dressing and running to the hospital.
The worst experience was a downloaded porn film to my phone, headphones on and a wank in the hospital toilet.
Good luck for the future and try and make it as much fun as you can

Yep, been there and done that. Had morning appointments in our local city. Had to quickly knock one out and jumpp on the motorbike so i could get through the traffic within the hour.

Would a cubicle in the gents in the hospital work.

Arrive half hour or so early, find a toilet and ahem...

Similarly when I had my vasectomy I had to produce my samples which had to be in within a certain time. Fortunately my wife works in a hospital so I could send it to work with her 😝😝😝!

Oh and the nurses don't find the "do I have to fill this?" quip funny.

I've had this. My OH was sterilised after her previous marriage but then we decided to have one ourselves. IVF was the best option and I had to provide a sample of semen for analysis. As said no room available so a trip to the gents was the best I could find. Managed to give a 'double shot' in the allotted time so there was plenty to test. Good luck and ask the best.

Holly Love firstly let me tell you how much I sympathise with you both. However you need to be careful and defuse this for hubby or the pressure may make it difficult for him to give his donation.

I'd like to defuse this with a little humour before offering some advice and ideas.

I'm in the unenviable position of having to of given a work college a break and cover his position on. Machine. Being his line manager he explained the very situation your going through so he'd arranged with his wife shed come to the firms carpark at 0600 in the morning ( the joy of shift work). He'd pop out shed help him give his deposit . then return.

Within 20 minutes of him returning I had the first of many request for a wank break from my

Next I had a police friend who said he had to tap on. Window of a couple performing an obscene act in a car in day light.. They informed him of why they were doing it showed him the sample pot and documentation. He had to let them of but said they should try to find o more secluded spot.

OK how can I help . don't get hung up over this its just to get a good count of the sperm and that they are viable. So an hour is fine don't wory only difference is keep it warm a perfect place is in your bra between your breasts 37 is what it needs.

Its wonderful timings are exactly how I like to be edged. A minimum of 15 minutes is always a minimum building up the ejaculant. I'd say 45 mins to an hour would be prime for edging. Pre cum or leaking is not sperm this comes from the Cowper's and prostate. So will not detract from his count. After 5 days the body starts to reabsorb the sperm.

So long and short of it don't worry to much about the timings other than 2 days post last emasculation. Simply because you don't want it at its maximum best this may give a falsely high reading.

Last I'm going to assume your GP or fertility consultant has explained to you about your cycle understanding when your at your most fertile in your cycle ? Plus the latest research show missionary for his orgasm placing a pool of semen in front of your cervix then to try to orgasm yourself . it shown that the cervix during female orgasm dips into the pool of semen their for increasing the chance of insemination.

I wish you the very best and good luck. Every woman deserves to be a mother.

I know it's costly but I know a few who have booked hotels / b and bs close by. For them it just makes the whole process more relaxed. You can even help your OH then.

Also, double check the clinic location. When I went with an ex, the GP referred us to an old clinic that had closed, which wasted the day plus made the next appointment more nerve wracking.

might be worth checking where u need to go in the hospital.
ours is huge and can easily get very lost.

My husband has had to do several samples due to infertility treatment and as others have said he uses the toilets in the hospital.

When you produce samples for ivf there is a room provided but earlier on the the process they don't seem to provide anything I'm afraid.

Good luck x

Little update today was the day after a little research on Google maps I found a quiet road off a quiet road off a quiet road and then parked up down there to do the deed little bit weird but needs must. Then a 15 min drive to the hospital and a very quick appointment where I just handed over the forms and the sample and was told to ring my gp in a week for the results. Kept the sample under my jumper as it's best at body temp so had to adjust it so I didn't look a little odd walking in the hospital but all very simple really.

Well done - hope the results are good xxx

Absolutely well done.

TBH this is something you will look back on as worth doing :)

Good luck

After the first test was returned showing low motility I had to do it all again earler this week going to be a pro at this soon.
Just had my results of test 2 and looks like my little guys don't want to go where they are meant to go so we are now being referred to the fetility clinic.
No idea what happens next but don't see any kids in the near future.

Hey Holly 

Firstly I am sorry to hear you have received this news. I was referred to a fetility clinic a couple of years ago.  I remember hearing it myself and it is easy to think it will never happen or won't happen anytime soon. My advice here is stay postive, keep on top of what you are doing , more analysis etc ( we had 3 totally different results) So it's best to more and get a better idea of what is happening. 

My OH has low mobility & antibodies on the tails. This making it a 1.2 % chance of pregnancy naturally. 

The clinic could get us started on IVF ICSI within weeks after the last analysis , so it is quite fast moving. You basically have a consulatation, fill out some forms and start an idea of your personal plan. IVF ICSI - is when they take the sperm and clean it up, basically getting those antibodies away to be fertilised via IVF. 

For us we had to stop the process as we had a ton of stress in other areas of our lives and felt it was not the right time. I have kept all my notes and details if you have any questions I may be able to help ( I am obvs not a medical expert) But I remember being in this place too. 

Stay strong and I am sure the clinic will have lots of details to give you on the treatments and percentages with them. 

Thanks Leanne we are trying to stay positive not sure what's going to happen next just waiting for the referral to come through. Did they do any tests on you or was it mostly focused on your OH? What kind of tests did they do on your OH?

Hope all goes well Holly, my wife and I have been in same position, which included me going for semen analysis. Its an awkward process and not very arousing even though in my case they did have a room with suitable magazines to use.

My test initially showed a slightly low count but exercising more and eating better brought the level up when i was re-tested.

A very long and emotional story short (after over a year of tests and appointments), my wfe was prescribed Clomid to help with her ovulating and we now have 2 perfect little girls (one 20 month and other 3 months old)

Don't give up, hope you have both been tested. This bring sad,bad meriors for me as the wife and i never had children we tried the same path but both of us had problems, me a low sperm count,the wife a weight issue, the doctor we saw at hospital was rude and unrealistic about the amount of wieght loss need for my wife over half her wieght.


i had the same problem, my little tadpoles were really lazy and in some non existant, i never bothered changing my diet or anything like that, i changed my underwear, instead of wearing tight fitting boxers i went for loose fitting, the ball sack was less constrained, more air flowed around the old man. we both now have four boys

it worked for us and didnt cost the earth, hope it works for you and really good luck

Holly Love wrote:

Thanks Leanne we are trying to stay positive not sure what's going to happen next just waiting for the referral to come through. Did they do any tests on you or was it mostly focused on your OH? What kind of tests did they do on your OH?

They did blood tests on me and an internal examination/ scan. They wanted to do a laparoscopy to check my tubes but we had pulled out by this point. They say the results are good for 3 months on this side of things. I went to my local GP to have my blood tests. Saved a trip to the fertility clinic for them. Sometimes they advise to have a FSH blood test too. 

With my OH it was all sperm tests to determine the best treatment from his side of things as sadly the antibodies will never go. 

Hope the appointment comes through soon. I think private is quicker than NHS butit is all still quite a quick turn around.