Hi all I posted about this some time ago , but it's got worse I had a mental breakdown a few months ago , and my sex drive has nosedived to zero . I know my tablets aren't helping , but , I am just off sex cmpletely . I used to be as randy as hell . My sex drive nearly got me into trouble a few times :-( I could have had sex all day and night ( ex wife never wanted it ) My wife loves me , and I love her , but I just can't rise to the occasion . What must it be doing to her ? I happily give her pleasure , and love touching her , but she deserves better . I'm 55 , so is sex over for us ? She does all the right things , so it's not her fault , it's me Thanks for any advice :-(
Hi weeradge.
Sorry this seems to be a problem for you, I missed your first post. I’m getting that this has continued since then or got worse? As you probably already know medication can be a huge libado killer. It destroyed mine for years.
For me being a female I could kinda fake it till I felt it, if that makes sense as I knew it was causing issues in our marriage despite my husband saying it wasn’t an issue. I get how that is a little harder when your male to do that!
Secondly your age is not old, and I really don’t feel that sex it over for you. Is your wife still eager for sex? Have you discussed your feelings with her? I do feel that communication has to be really good here so that your not being too critical on yourself.
I was just wondering have you tried talking Thearpies for your breakdown? I’m sure your aware also that the more you stress about this the harder it will be to ‘perform’ can you get an erection at all?
Some of the wiser members will be along in the morning im sure.Hi Weeradge,
The medication probably doesn't help. Have you spoken to your GP about it? Perhaps they could change the medication or prescribe some Viagra or something to help.
You're definitely not alone in this. Most men have erection issues at some point in their lives.
You could please your wife in other ways in the mean time......sex toys perhaps?
You may find that turns you on as well.
I would definitely chat to the GP first though (they're used to hearing this type of story, so don't feel embarrassed to talk about it) and rule out any medical reasons first.
It can be a bit of a vicious circle, because you start to beat yourself up about it, and that is a passion killer in itself.
Your wife sounds very understanding, so definitely talk to her about it as well.
Hi Weeradge, As a wife who's husband also suffered from a similar issue with oh lack of sex drive, best advice be honest. For ages my OH would tell me it wasn't me it was him but didn't do anythng about the issue. After a very heated conversation and been the straight talking person I am I told him to go to the doctors, thus could be down to medication or something more serious. He was reasured that this was nothing serious and they gave him medication to help with the blood flow. They have worked wonders and even though it wasn't what either of us wanted at first now it just like taking an aspirin for a headache get the job done. He doesn't always need them but they are always in stock just in case. Good luck
She loves you. If she knows you’re not feeling great, I’m sure she understands how that can impact sex drive and such. She can masturbate if she needs to get off. I’m sure what is most important to her is that you get back on track health wise and then sex can resume later. It doesn’t mean that sex is over forever, look at it as it being on hold for a while until you are feeling a little better. Health has to come first even if it can be frustrating for you both at times. As long as you’re keeping some intimacy and are being honest with her then you’ll definitely be able to get back to it at some point.
Could you go back to whoever prescribed the medication and discuss other options? A change in dose or tablets might be of use to your mood and your sex life :)
I would go and discuss the prescribed medication you are on some can affect sex drive - if the medication is the issue could be as simple as an adaptation in strength times taken or a new type of medication to improve things. If they say it's not the medication then next steps I would suggest is could their be stress other everyday things affecting yourself. I would sit down and have a discussion with your wife be honest explain what's going on how you feel and how she feels. Work together bring a few fun things into the bedroom to start to help maybe a blindfold could be a good start to liven things up with the unknown also possibly a cock ring. If want to try and increase on own at first then my husband would recommend fleshlights.
Is it that you don't get the urge to have sex or that the desire is there but your “equipment” does not respond?
Hi...55? I'm guessing you've never had your testosterone levels checked have you? I suffered with 'depression' for years, medication alleviated the problems, but never properly cured things, as soon as I stopped, back it came..my sex drive went to zero which made things worse....it was only a couple of years ago that I got blood work done at my own cost and saw that my testosterone levels were way below what they should be for a normal range.....My GP wouldn't entertain trt so I went the private route and now self administer..........my sex drive is at a level I haven't experienced since my 20's, I feel better, more confident, happier.....
It won't hurt to get your levels checked and if that's the problem, no amount of anti-depressant medication will help you
Like sd63, after having problems with erectile disfunction, I was diagnosed with low testosterone levels (they were almost off the bottom of the scale). I now apply a testosterone supplement gel every day and, to help with my shattered confidence, I was given viagra on prescription. Thankfully, as my confidence is improving I do not always need it anymore and our sex life is effectively back to normal.
thanks to all who contributed to this thread as I have this problem.
I will discuss it with the doctor but being alone and shy doesn'thelp
Perhaps a lady who likes a challenge could help?
thanks to all who contributed to this thread as I have this problem.
I will discuss it with the doctor but being alone and shy doesn'thelp
Perhaps a lady who likes a challenge could help?
Firstly have you down to your wife to find out how she feels? I'm sure she will understand and at the end of the day your health has to come first and beating yourself up because you think "she deserves better" won't be helping you. It might be a difficult conversion to initiate but the only person who knows how yuppie wife feels is your wife! Good luck, and I hope things pick up for youWeeradge wrote:
Hi all I posted about this some time ago , but it's got worse I had a mental breakdown a few months ago , and my sex drive has nosedived to zero . I know my tablets aren't helping , but , I am just off sex cmpletely . I used to be as randy as hell . My sex drive nearly got me into trouble a few times :-( I could have had sex all day and night ( ex wife never wanted it ) My wife loves me , and I love her , but I just can't rise to the occasion . What must it be doing to her ? I happily give her pleasure , and love touching her , but she deserves better . I'm 55 , so is sex over for us ? She does all the right things , so it's not her fault , it's me Thanks for any advice :-(
Hi , thanks for the kind replies Just to anser one particular question from GYRATOR53 , I have the "urge" , but it takes a lot to get me going , if that makes sense . The equipment works , but not like it used to :-( I've spoken to my wife , she says she is fine with it , and I do enjoy giving her pleasure . We do love each other , and are quite often cudding , for no reason other than we want to . I can enter her ,when erect ,and give her some pleasure , but then I go "soft" while inside her . I worry about her thinking she's doing something wrong . I find it difficult to orgasm while inside her , and she usually has to finish me off manually (sometimes even that doesn't work) . I know the physical problems are down to the meds , I can't wait to get off them . Maybe , then I can start getting back to what I was