@B.666 I hate to say it but even to me there are some red flags… @Tenshadesandme and @ApolloSwallow make strong cases. If you still want to try and work things out with him, honestly denying him sex is a good way to kind of prove a point I guess. Those two would be the experts for female toys for sure.
but I do hope that you can figure things out and that he doesn’t keep leading you on like this. I hate to say it, but you may have to throw the ultimatum down there of you please me correctly or I’m out type of a deal.
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From experience, ultimatums rarely go down well with these types, they’ll just paint you to be the awful person and proof that they were “right” to leave the relationship. By the sounds of it he already has one foot out the door, @B.666 would just be helping him leave.
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Thank God for your reply , uve been sitting here trying to think of a diplomatic way of telling her to kick him too the kerb as it sounds like he is fulfilling his sexual needs elsewhere with someone else , You have caught him twice already and a leopard NEVER changes its spots , find somebody worthy of you and your time
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With how horrible he’s being telling you to go to bed and go to sleep when you’re making an effort it’s a shame he won’t role play. Seen as you can’t feel anything in his favourite position he should wear an extender so the roles are reversed and you finally get a big cock. But that sounds out of the question. You’re both in your prime and it shouldn’t be like this. To stop having sex months into the relationship sounds awful 
. Depends how greedy you’re feeling, I love the king cock mega girthy if I’m feeling extra greedy. And I cannot live without my classic wand 2.0 extra powerful multi speed massage vibrator. What about the suction cup dildos to stick to the wall, that way you can feel something in doggy. You’ll be having the best time and will forget about keep getting knocked back. Massive hugs, I’m a newbie on here too x
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If I remember rightly you’ve read my blog before so you’re at least vaguely familiar with my story.
My poly ex before last cheated on his primary, my metamour, so our poly relationship had to be explicitly no physical contact while she rebuilt trust. No problem, a bit frustrating but I can deal with that.
I went to bed one night, woke up the following morning and read he had tried to meet someone else, despite us supposedly being a closed quad and him saying nothing about it to me. They didn’t show up though so he wanted me to forgive and forget and move on like nothing happened.
I did. From our relationship.
My point is, you’re absolutely right. A cheater has to want to change.
To be blunt I think he is getting his needs met somewhere else. I also think he only wants to do it either doggie or reverse cowgirl is so he does not need to look at you and can imagine you are someone else. You need to ditch him and find someone who will want you and treat you right.
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This is an incredibly supportive forum, with some lovely open minded people on here who are always looking to help and come in with some really great advice, able to see situations from different points of view. Contrasting to other forums which are full of knee jerk ‘ leave the idiot’ or ‘guys an a**hole, you deserve better’ kind of shitty comments without too much effort to actually examine and solve the problem.
However this is one of those incredibly rare situations where that response may be appropriate. As a man, I was reading your comments thinking ‘this is not right’ and with each further comment I am thinking ‘wow, this really really isn’t right’, so i am very glad to see that a couple of other have reached the same conclusion I already had by the time I got to their comments.
Leave him.
Something is off. He either doesn’t fancy you any more, you’re simply not compatible, he’s seeing someone else (or has designs on them), maybe he’s got a porn habit that is in his mind preferable to you.
Whatever, it seems as far as I can tell from the information I have, that he’s just keeping you round for convenience and isn’t actually that bothered about your needs and desires. The fact that he’s been adventurous and put the effort in with previous partners is just salt in the wound.
He’s either cheating or has at the very least mentally checked out. It’s over. Find someone who deserves you.
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I’m the male equivalent of yourself and living exactly what you are. I’m the one who initiates sex. I’m the adventurous one who will try anything twice. I adore giving oral, my wife hates receiving, and won’t even consider giving. When we do have sex it’s missionary in the middle of the bed, with me doing all the work (been 3 years since we had it). She struggles with cowgirl and doggy cus she’s can’t relax, I am on the bigger side but feel she’s just awkward and uncomfortable with sex. I don’t believe she’s ever had an orgasm as she can’t relax enough. I’ve tried everything you could think of, toys, massage, lingerie, I tell her I adore her, offer her oral with no obligation, I try to make her cum all the time. Nothing works and I’ve all but given up on our sex life.
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@Scottishfunk one of the hardest things I have to do in fhe work that I do is read from people like yourself who are in relationships that lack intimacy; it just makes me wonder what happened for it to get to that point, or how it did. You very clearly love your wife, I sincerely hope she appreciates you and the things you do, even if in other ways outside of the bedroom.
I am always diplomatic on here, I would never say “Leave him” or similar, but a more measured response such as “Have you considered where you see yourselves in two years?”
However as @SW2003 said, this is a rare occasion that I would be more blunt and suggest at your ages you are wasting the best years of your lives.
As a man myself, the not wanting to face you during sex is a massive giveaway, a guilty child whose eaten six biscuits won’t look at their parent who wonders why none are left.
I can only guess as I’m not him @B.666 of course. As you seem anything but ‘vanilla’ and try to be very adventurous I can’t imagine why he’s looking elsewhere unless the spark has gone out and the fire has been lit somewhere else.
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According to @B.666 she’s as you say adventurous but apparently and according to him, their sex is boring and he’s not into it, despite being very much into it with his exes (and, seemingly, with the girls he’s been flirting with? I don’t buy that, it smacks of deceit at the very least to me.
I’d never advocate for trying to fix a relationship that makes you feel unloved, undesired and unappreciated, even used and abused. A healthy relationship isn’t hard work if both partners are invested in it.
I agree with everything that Ten Shades has said. My partner was brave enough to walk away from her previous marriage of 20 years after feeing those emotions in the last paragraph.
While we have had occasional spells of boredom and stress like anyone, our relationship has been a breeze due to mutual respect and love.
These two fundamentals seem a little weak from him @B.666 and you have my sympathy.
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Welcome 
From reading all your reply’s personally I feel you should walk away he doesn’t sound into you are all you are not on the same page sexually at all and the fact he won’t even try says it all
You can dO better hun
Welcome to the forum 
sounds like some sex counselling is in need but then I’m kinda thinking there might be something more to it on his side he’s either struggling or not dealing with maybe 
Indeed, as I’m being more honest with myself these days and wondering about my curious side, a thought also crossed my mind about that too regarding this gentleman.
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@B.666 … Ill cut to the chase…At 28 your partner should be permanently on heat. With the effort you are making , you should be feeling completely exhausted by his sexual response.
Something isnt right and as he will not communicate, id suggest giving him an ultimatum.
He either starts to communicate and do what’s required to improve the situation, or you leave.
You have to be fair and honest with yourself. Do not waste any more time.
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This is very sad to read
You really need to have a day with no interruptions and talk to him and ask what is going on inside his head, on the positive side he might be going through some depression and isn’t clearly thinking properly. Let him know how you are feeling.
You need to tell him things need to change between us give him a set time like 3 months and tell him if things haven’t changed then you see no way but to end the relationship.
Make it clear this is final and you mean what you are saying.
It is clear that there is a selfish dynamic in this relationship and it is him. It could be from a place of insecurity or it could be completely self centered.
From what I read you are a very sexual person and I think that the realization is dawning that you deserve a better and more fulfilling sex life.
The first thing to do is to stop pandering to his wants and needs, he clearly from what you write doesn’t care about yours. For the sounds of it, you would get the same amount of enjoyment with you and a trusted vibrator.
If he refuses to discuss it, then the harsh reality is your sex life is moribund and you have a stark choice either accept it or move on.
His relatively small penis could be the underlying issue, but as mentioned in other posts, it’s not size it is what you do with it. Though to be honest I would have thought from behind positions would only compound the issue, versus missionary or girl on top.
I think that you need to stand firm, if he is not willing to discuss and not caring about your sexual needs, then stop giving him what he wants, as it gives him no reason to engage with you and sort the issue.
I am sorry that I can offer no further advice, getting my partner off is one of the most important things to me in our sex life.
I can’t believe some relationships are one way street only.
Being totally disregarded in your needs is a clear lack of respect.
Is there much in this relationship for you beside the sex?
Are these ex girlfriends real or made up?
Is he with you because he feels he has to have a girlfriend or he’s doing it to fit in? He could be a-sexual or needing to question his own sexuality.
Something isn’t right here and it’s so not fair on you.
You need to have a good chat out of the bedroom and it sounds like you really need to move on.
Good luck
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