Sex fun & games over last 20 odd years ...

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Wasn't sure what to call this thread, so hopefully the title makes some sense!

I was talking with the OH at the weekend about how the kind of sex people start with when they first start having a sexual relationship has changed as time has gone on - and by time, I mean those who started in the 1970s, or the 1980s, etc through to those starting out at the current time, rather then peoples actual age.

Now this will not be the case for all, but 20-30 odd years ago, the different stages of getting to know a BF/GF seemed to go from touching, then masturbating each other and then intercourse but oral sex and anal-play was in no way such a 'given' activity as it seems to be now (in fact I think anal intercourse between a man and woman was illegal until very recently!)
There seems to be a much more 'explorative' range of activities that people starting out on their sex lives do now, which to my mind sounds so much more fun then the way it was back then.

I've got 20+ years of catching up! (and 20+ years of social conditioning to break through as well ;) )

We have a fair range of ages on this forum and wondering if our experiences as a couple (and as individuals) in their 40's is typical of other 40-somethings here or if I was just unlucky!

And to those in the 20's and late teens ... is what I wrote correct and times really have changed?

2

I think re the state of play as a young person these days - I'd agree oral is kind of a given but wouldn't say the same for anal. Out of 5 males and 1 girl, only 1 has initiated anal and a couple of the others were pretty insistent they'd never do it, ever. lol (later did find out with one of them, that might have been him overcompensating a teeny tiny bit if you get my drift )

3

Actually anal sex has been used as a form of contraception for decades (although it is still possible to get pregnant, sperm are determined little buggers and can find their way elsewhere!!) . Also am fairly sure if you do a little research on the Victorian era you will find they were up to a lot more sexual practices than we think.

I think the difference now is that we are all happier to talk about it, especially on forums like LH!

4

Oh indeed, not saying it didn't happen at all. But that many activities common place now were regarded as deviant and not things that 'nice people' got up to generally. Maybe a backlash from the 1960's "Free Love" era?

Agree that many people are far more open and happy to talk about this nowadays and especially on LH, but now it is often more a case talking about what you have just got up to rather then what you wished you had got up to!

5

I do agree with you that people seem to be more open about their sex lives these days. I remember a book i read a while back about women's lives in the 1940's, one of the couples in it were commenting on how they were not able to concieve a child, turns out they weren't having sex as they didn't realise that was how you got pregnant!!!! Hard to belive isn't it!

I consider myself to be able to talk about sex quite openly (have studied midwifery and that kind of gets you used to it all!!) having said that i wouldn't discuss with my friends over coffee, what i discuss on here! But maybe thats just me, i am 31 years old and only bought my first toy earlier this year!!

I also think the internet has given us the ability to admit to our sexual preferences and realise we are all normal after all. :-)

6

Anal sex was illegal between heterosexual couples until 1996 (UK). Interesting point bingo. Wonder what will happen in the future? My personal guess is that there will be a backlash and we'll get more restrictive as a society. Not a good thing, but that's where I'd put my money.

7

Wouldn't surprise me if that happened, Imelda, though with the internet in place, it is very hard to put the "genie back in the bottle" completely, which is something.

It was the fact that I have so many relatives coming up to the age where they will start (or have started) to get sexually active with partners and some of the things I hear about made me think back to when I was their age (and yes, I am envious of what goes on now compared to what I got up to - or rather didn't get up to).

Libby, you said about buying you first toy this year aged 31 - I bought mine this year and am in my 40's - and if it were not for the internet, I would not have bought that I think. I am not sure I would have the nerve to go into a shop and buy a male sex toy - although oddly, I do think I would be able to (and think I have actually?) bought a female one i.e. Vibrator - wonder what that says about me or maybe my age group?

8

i think that also says a lot about the levels of social acceptance of the vibrator - in particular rabbits in contrast to the acceptance or lack thereof of the male sex toy - be it fleshlight, fliphole or other...

still a little bit ofn imballance around if you ask me..

9

Hmm there are obviously differences. I'm 25 and bought my first vibrator at 16 (with my bf in Ann Summers). Good point LF.

10

imeldaimelda wrote:

Hmm there are obviously differences. I'm 25 and bought my first vibrator at 16 (with my bf in Ann Summers). Good point LF.

hehe, i cant remember if i was 14 or 15, but either way, god bless internet ordering and SplashPlastic cards!

11

Hiya,

Well here goes;

As for a legal backlash, in terms of morality related issues, l don't think we will ever see that. The change was merely acknowledging popular activity, that they no longer considered punishable with life imprisonment. So sleep easy in yer beds campers.

As for sex back in the 70s...kinda ran like this, first got naked with partner New Years Day 1976 when her family went out for a New Year's Day ramble. Ran down the dancers and locked the door, and retired to bedroom to get down to it !!! Bing bong, doorbell rang, they were back early, talk about red faces....still l stuck around and didn't run off.

After that it was finger fumbling in her Morris Minor, not much room, but just enough!!!

Finally got it together in my parents living room, naked on the sheepskin, and mercifully they left us well alone, must have remembered how they were !!

Oral, well l definately went down on her, largely due to a hairtrigger l had then, put it down to her tight pussy, but probably just over excited !!! She was lovely though.

Never got round to anal, and never seriously considered it, although the time my cock did nudge her ass once she merely observed that was her bottom. With the benefit of hindsight, and what a glorious hind she had, maybe l should have persevered.

Had sex in the great outdoors as well then !! rather avant garde even though l say so myself.

Well there you have it !!!

TB

Oh whatever happened to Anne of the Right Thigh, she went to work for Deloittes l recall.

12

Bingo Caller wrote:

Wouldn't surprise me if that happened, Imelda, though with the internet in place, it is very hard to put the "genie back in the bottle" completely, which is something.

It was the fact that I have so many relatives coming up to the age where they will start (or have started) to get sexually active with partners and some of the things I hear about made me think back to when I was their age (and yes, I am envious of what goes on now compared to what I got up to - or rather didn't get up to).

Libby, you said about buying you first toy this year aged 31 - I bought mine this year and am in my 40's - and if it were not for the internet, I would not have bought that I think. I am not sure I would have the nerve to go into a shop and buy a male sex toy - although oddly, I do think I would be able to (and think I have actually?) bought a female one i.e. Vibrator - wonder what that says about me or maybe my age group?

Yep bought mine on the internet too! Would not have dared go into a shop.

This question also opens up the whole sex education issue too, my kids have had a lot more sex education than i ever had and half of me is pleased they have that knowledge and the other half is shocked by what they know!!

13

Hi bingo for me things have not changed i was a horny little person when i was 14 and i am now at 46.

When i was 14 i lost my virginity to my boyfriend that i stayed with for a long time and we did every thing sexually then that i still do today, In fact i remember once when i was 16 dressing up in basque and stockings and his jaw just hit the ground, I thought at the time sex is so good now what am i gonna do in the future to be this good,

I got my first vib at 16 and i dont know if any of you oldies remember a make called non doctor, well that was it, a plastic thing, nothing like what you can get today and that is the one thing that has really moved on in terms of sex for me anyway.

14

I end up hearing all sorts of details that I would rather not about my young relatives as the OH is the Tracey Cox of the family and provides all that advice, as well as posting out the condoms to the ones heading away to make sure they have something to stay out of trouble in case they hadn't thought of it!

15

sexelle wrote:

Hi bingo for me things have not changed i was a horny little person when i was 14 and i am now at 46.

When i was 14 i lost my virginity to my boyfriend that i stayed with for a long time and we did every thing sexually then that i still do today, In fact i remember once when i was 16 dressing up in basque and stockings and his jaw just hit the ground, I thought at the time sex is so good now what am i gonna do in the future to be this good,

I got my first vib at 16 and i dont know if any of you oldies remember a make called non doctor, well that was it, a plastic thing, nothing like what you can get today and that is the one thing that has really moved on in terms of sex for me anyway.

I do remember the "non doctor" though only reading about it in my sisters copies of cosmo If I recall right

God, I would have killed for a GF like you when I was 16!! External Media - always too shy External Media

16

when me and boyfriend started havin sex he had to get his big brother to give us condoms , one time we were a bit needy and he had to go to a public toilet and put 10p (yes 10P) into the machine and guess what it got stuck, in typical glasgow manner he was helped out by an older gent that promply trashed the machine, gave him a condom and said go get her son!

17

in fact watchin taggart now, might see those very toilets x

18

Well, I'm only 21, and I'm already shocked by the antics of the younger generation- my little sister is 16 and although she's got her head screwed on right (and I know it's true cos she'd tell me otherwise lol) her best friend seems to have been shagging round since she was about 13 and has seen it all and done it all (or at least talks about it all- still I wouldn't have known the difference between oral and anal at 13!).

The stages for my group was always-

1st= holding hands/ kissing
2nd= clothed groping
3rd= unclothed groping (inc hand jobs/ fingering)
4th= oral
5th= sex

Anal still doesn't seem acceptable, but we'll all eventually admit we've tried it!

I'm pretty open to talking about sex over coffee, as are most of my friends. I think my generation got it best- older and theres the moral angst issues some of you have mentioned, and younger there seems to be no specialness about sex anymore. Which is a huge shame.

19

sexelle wrote:

Hi bingo for me things have not changed i was a horny little person when i was 14 and i am now at 46.

When i was 14 i lost my virginity to my boyfriend that i stayed with for a long time and we did every thing sexually then that i still do today, In fact i remember once when i was 16 dressing up in basque and stockings and his jaw just hit the ground, I thought at the time sex is so good now what am i gonna do in the future to be this good,

I got my first vib at 16 and i dont know if any of you oldies remember a make called non doctor, well that was it, a plastic thing, nothing like what you can get today and that is the one thing that has really moved on in terms of sex for me anyway.

Blimey sexelle remember non-doctor- twas one of the first l stuffed up myself !!! think there was something like non-doctor gold, yep had a gold top- not milk- that was the era of Paula Page, anyone remember her!!

TB

20

Can anyone find a pic of this infamous toy? (I'm too young!)