I absolutely love this forum and find some of the tips great help.
My wife and I have a great sex life having sex 2-3 times a week, but recently we have slowed down and during foreplay feel like could do more.
We have lots of toys and I love using them on her it really turns me on, we use toys but sometimes I feel she is not quite feeling it as she says prefers to feel my cock, what would be the best way to make her feel more at ease with toys? Best toys or ways to use them during foreplay would be great help.
One of the great things about sex toys is that they can be used during sex as well as on their own. 🙂 Have you tried things like vibrating cockrings, or small/medium clit vibes like a bullet or a mini-wand? Or there are ones that provide a completely different experience altogether like the Womanizer suction-style toys?
A lot of couples like to browse the site together looking for new toys/experiences to try, so you could give that a go? Sometimes a photo or a review of a toy can spark the imagination in ways that simply talking about it wouldn't.
Have you asked your wife? Comunication is everything.
We love using toys too, however, in my opinion I'd certainly encourage not using toys every time or becoming too reliant upon them for as fantastic as they are they can sometimes get in the way of a simple sensual loving interaction and most importantly the enjoyment for both parties involved.
My wife requests certain things toywise, sometimes I introduce them and sometimes, like yours, my wife just wants me.
Personally I have an idea of how I wish to turn my wife on each time but mostly it's just listening and observing and going with the flow which turns me on too.
From my own experience I'd say that once she's relaxed then she'll be more likely to suggest things herself or go with your shared ideas so spend time caressing and working up to the moment with no preconceived ideas and you'll have more fun.
Sensory deprivation with a blind fold which can be tantalising and a simple ice cube goes a long way towards this when using toys I find.
My wife loves nipple play and also enjoys a glass dildo, vibrator and a butt plug but before advancing towards her nether regions and using every toy under the sun I'd certainly be listenig to her responses and think about whether she actually needs or wants another toy upon every occasion.
You said in your post that things have slowed down. Could there perhaps be a bit of a mental block going on for her? Stress at work, tiredness, something bothering her. This can have a big effect.
Try not to stick to the same routine, same toys, same place, same time. Try be a bit spontanious. If she prefers your cock to the toys, throw in a quickly now and then. Toys as good as they are don't need to come out for every session.
As for something different to try... try a glass dildo that's been chilling in the fridge. With summer around the corner a bit of temperature play can work wonders.
As others have said, just talk to each other and experiment too, as far as you are both comfortable.
Toys are more my thing than OH, but we both enjoy a bullet vibe on my clit with his fingers inside me. And also a 'mouse' type clitoral vibe on his sensitve parts (nipples, genitals) while I do oral.
A glass dildo with nice massage oil / massage candle on each other's back and shoulders can be lovely.
You can both do things together which combine toys and your own natural selves :-)
Sometimes there is no need for anything other than yourselves, together. Go with the flow.
Also meant to say, if your wife is sometimes reluctant re toys, try enhancing what already sounds good in other ways? A tasteful silk nightdress or camisole set, with nice massage oil etc might be nice for her especially as she sounds very happy with you and your body rather than extras. Pay attention to your own appearance too as she fancies you! Toys are not essential. Empathy and skill matter more. See where it goes.
The best person to ask would be your wife as she'll know exactly what feels good and not so good for herself. I find that incorproating sex toys into sex can really help boost sensations, things like cock rings/vibrating cock rings/magic wands etc. are great toys to use whilst having sex, it means you can have the best of both worlds where you're giving her pleasure and you can enjoy giving that pleasure and your wife gets to have the sex she lusts over. Another suggestion would be finding a brand new type of toy to try out. I personally would recommend the 'Lovense', it's quite pricy but works absolute wonders, it sits in the vagina stimulating the g-spot and can be used along with a penis (it's best to work towards that though as depending on the size of the penis it can be quite full), it's a perfect toy as it's USB charged and is controlled using either your phone or your partner's phone. You can even play music and the Lovense vibrates out a pattern to that piece of music.
I would have to agree with some of the other comments on this forum, the best thing to do is to talk to you wife about this and find out how you can both compromise or work things so you are both equally pleased and aroused.
Also, it is perfectly normal for your wife to just want you sometimes. Myself and my OH enjoy using toys but we don't get them out every time we have sex and the toys that we get out the most are the most taim as ultimately sex is about connecting with your other half, toys are just there to spice things up and bring different sensations.
The best thing to do is just talk and find out what turns her on and what would make her most at ease. At the end of the day I would take this as a compliment your wife wants you not a toy and although toys can spice things up they can also sometimes take something away.
Start a conversation and most imporantly enjoy yourself!
Perhaps she's having a temporary lapse in her self confidence?? I know when I'm having one of "those days" where I hate myself just that bit more than usual the last thing I want is someone focusing the attention on me and trying to force it to happen when my mind is racing about other stuff. That's nothing on you, at all, just sometimes our moods are just not in the right place at the time, and even though we want that closeness we don't feel like we can relax enough and would rather just go a bit vanilla. That's my experience anyway lol When was the last time you had a date night, with no sex and no expectations? Just spending time with her and making her feel a bit special might help if she's having a down period x