sleep mastrubation/waking up mastrubating/caught mastrubating/mastrubating whilst oh sleeps

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Hi all

firstly im new to posting on here so here goes

im a happily married lady who has just turned 40 and going through early menopase my sex drive has gone through the roof im constantly horny

firstly im interested in feedback from women and men on this as it would be nice to get a mans point of view on all the points below

I have started mastrubating more in the last 10 years than i have ever done in the past my sex drive has gone through the roof where as my husbands has dropped off for this reason we purchased some sex toys for both of us and for me to ease the urge so to speak my husband works nights in the week so we only have 2 nights where we are actually sleep in bed together at the same time.

Ive started having really erotic dreams involving me and my hubby which in turn has lead to me mastrubating in my sleep twice in which i have been going at it whilst my husband was in bed with me and woke my husband up the first time my husband was shocked but joined in but wasnt pleased with me after the second time he got more turned on and we had great sex to finish off its happened again third time but i was awake before it woke my husband but i couldnt stop i was in full flow and needed to finish i felt my husband pull back the covers and for about a minute watched me i pretended i was still asleep (i was so turned on that he was watching me ) he then started to join in to which i opened my eyes we had sex then went back to sleep

is this normal for women to do this ? or is it the same as a man having a wet dream?

is it wrong that i got more turned on at the fact my husband was watching even only for a while and not realising i was awake ?

A few nights before this we was downs stairs and i started to play around i gave my husband a hand job (would have been a bj but had flu) he placed his hand around his penis and with his other got hold of my hand and then placed it on him with his hand outside my showing me how much presure and how fast he wanted me to go it was such a turn on as hes never really shown/talked about what gets him going. With this in mind and the sleep mastrubation and him watching me its left me hornier than ever and i cant get it out of my mind

Whilst my hubby was sleeping the next night and seeing my hubby naked before he got into bed i was so horny as soon as he was asleep i couldnt help myself the thought that he could wake up turned me on all the more i managed not to wake him up but the orgasim was amazing i did feel a little guilty but he wasnt in the mood and i needed to release the sexual tension .

I now cant get out of my head my hubby watching me mastrubate and getting turned on watching me the thought of him watching me and getting turned on by me is driving me crazy plus i now want to watch my hubby arouse himself

the thought of us doing that and watching each other and not rushing into sex seeing what gets each other going its driving me mad i dont know what to do as my hubby doesnt talk much about sex and if i ask him what gets him going he always says he doesnt know i want him to watch me get aroused by me take his time with me instead of quick foreplay and grabbing sex on the only two nights we are together.

questions are =

Am i normal to want my hubby to catch me pleasuring myself ?

is it normal to mastrubate in my sleep or to wake up whilst doing it and unable to stop ?

is it normal for me to be so turned on to pleasure myself whilst my hubby sleeps secretly hoping he catches me so i can watch him get turned on?

is it any different for men with wet dreams ?

do men mastrubate whilst sleeping ?

what would be a mans point of view be on the above would he be disgusted ?

would you be mad if you woke up to your oh pleasuring themselfs ?

me and my hubby have a fairly good sex life although sometimes rushed or only on certain days due to working hours even after being with my hubby for 20years i still get turned on just looking at him.which isnt bad and we both love each other dearly but when it comes to sex and what turns my hubby on hes a little gaurded and doesnt like to talk too much about it he has started to open up a little this year buying sex toys etc but rarely uses them on me himself but yet he will watch porn with women using toys, my hubby has joked that my sex drive being high is to do with going through the menopase early which i know its not its just down to men and women have different sexual peaks lol

any feedback would be great to what experiences other women have.

thanks in advance

2

I can't answer all of your questions but nothing there sounds abnormal to me.

It is obvious that you are lacking sex so to me that's why you want to see your husband pleasuring himself and why you want him to catch you while you are masturbating (it sems to be associated with two times when you had sex so maybe you want that because you want the sex that follows).

Also he doesn't seem to be disgusted since he was turned on.

Now for the wet dream part, the only things I can say come from my own experience. I've never waken up masturbating, but i've experienced several wet dreams that ended up in orgasms that woke me up. I am almost sure I have never been touching myself when such things happen. So to me it's pretty similar, only you masturbate in your sleep. I don't see why there would be something wrong with it.

It's not that much but hope this still provides a little help :)

3

Hits Mad Dog Me, be gentle with yourself! It's a sex drive. It's positive!

You ask on each count if it is normal. There's no normal, there's what hurts no-one and what hurts some-one..

You're doing neither of those. All of those are normal, they're normal for your body. As to whether or not they are common and widespread? Who knows. It doesn't matter. You're seeking pleasure with your husband, what could be more right?

It sounds like your wet dreams are very similar to 'men's' but, women get them too, it's just more taboo to discuss them and the mess is not as severe during puberty so girls can keep these things to themselves.

It's very common to want to watch your partner masrurbating, and to want to be caught. It would have to be a top ten fantasy.

Men are individuals, as a group they'd find it arousing, one on one, who knows? But again, doesn't matter, you know your husband enjoys that particular view!

I would definitely not be mad if I woke up to my husband masturbating, I love love love watching him.

It's all good!

4

Ah man I can't believe I read all that and you're only interested in what women think.
4 am I hate you!!!

5

I would be very interested in what a man's perspective is on this sum sub, the OP has asked some very good questions :-)

6

Sum Sub wrote:

Ah man I can't believe I read all that and you're only interested in what women think.
4 am I hate you!!!

Hey There Sumsub!  Men and women opinions are welcome as OP commented:

"firstly im interested in feedback from women and men on this as it would be nice to get a mans point of view on all the points below"

I guess due to the time and sleepiness that may have been missed....

Also this is a forum open to all so feel free to post your experiences and or advice.

Mrs Mad Dog Me

Thank you for sharing and I have to add there is nothing wrong with wanting to share sexual experiences with you partner .

Women do get wet dreams , no matter the gender many of us do have a sexual appetite. I have spoken with people that have awoken themselves with masturbation too.

Maybe share these thoughts with your partner , by the sounds of the experience you have had with his reaction so far he will be pleased to hear it ![smiley|20x20](upload://ez5kOkpKXRZOxjavAURYmQxVTau.gif "smiley")

7

if i caught my Mrs pleasuring herself in bed , I don't think I would be annoyed possibly dissapointed as he sex drive is already quite low ,so I have to take advantage of when she is in the mood.

8

Sounds great to me. Me and my other half love watching each other. Whether with toys or manual. One of my favourite things

10

@alone4ever that is really sad :-( how someone could take advantage of you just because your body reacts, even tho your mind doesn't want to, I can empathise as being a female who suffers from chronic pain down below I used to give in to my partner too just to keep him happy and prevent him being in a bad mood, despite the fact it was agony for me during and for days afterwards (and usually ended up with me needing antibiotivs as I got a uti every time we had sex) so I sympathise with you. Having sex with someone when you really don't want to can make you end up resenting them, which I used to a lot with my oh, I hope you are no longer in a position where someone makes you feel like that, its really not nice and just because your body reacted in that way it shouldn't be taken as a given that a man wants to have sex.

12

There's something called sexsomnia. It's basically performing Sexual acts during sleep. My partner does it a lot, but as I enjoy it all is good. If you look it up on Google it's quite interesting. x

13

Can't see a problem most guys would be happy to watch their oh play with themselves as often it will lead to other things. My wife knows I play with myself lots and has "caught" me doing so, she also knows I play with her whilst she's asleep, everything from a gentle touch to full on sex whilst she's asleep, she knows and does not mind I'll add.

14

Thanks everyone for your advice it's took me ages to find my post and replies I'm still learning on here lol 😁 seems like I'm probably worrying over something which from what I read up on seems normal to go through me and my hubby have been together for 19 years and have a good sex life we have had times when sex wasn't happening as regularly as it did when we was younger and in my late 20's my sex drive took a nose dive but since hitting my 40's my sex drive has rocketed every though I'm going through early menopause in fact I'm the horniest I've ever been my hubby worked nights which as a result took a knock on our sex life and his sex drive he has since changed jobs and things and seeming to be coming back on par

I lived a very strict upbringing and more or less from my mum was made to feel sex wasnt to be fun and that it self exploration was something only men did....when I met my hubby in our younger days we did go to sex shops and buy 📀 and did buy toys this was in my late teens I very really used it as I felt like it wasn't normal/dirty and to be honest our sex life was crazy anyway lol

It's only now in my 39/40ith year that I accepted that it's a good thing knowledge is a good thing as with my sex drive going up and my hubby working nights we then joined lovehoney my hubby wasn't too sure at first with buying toys in the past and me not using them but now I wonder why I never used the toys I had way back when you live and learn lol
It's just nice to be reassured that your not weird

I'm getting used to the site now so I'm sure it will broaden my knowledge a whole lot more and you seem like a friendly bunch 😉

15

I wouldn't worry about whether or not something is normal - if it happens and you're healthy and get pleasure out of it then it is perfectly normal - we're all different, that's why Lovehoney have such a wide product range and your experiences sound amazing!

As for the watching my OH masturbating, as a bloke, I would really love to do that and my OH has done a wee bit of it at times and it has been hot but the idea of us watching each other is a huge turn on, I just hope I look as good to her as she does to me!!!!

16

What is 'normal' anyway ? I frequently wake myself up masturbating or I'll do it if oh is exhausted and asleep. We often watch each other and do it together. If something brings you pleasure and its not harming you or someone you love then go for it ! x

17

I've never masturbated in my sleep to my knowledge; but have woken up in the middle of the night feeling incredibly horny and felt the need to wank before going back to sleep.

If I woke to find my OH masturbating I'd love it. I'd watch and insist she not stop..., and lend a helping hand or tongue if allowed :)

18

As a male I would say there is nothing wrong with anything you've described. We are all individuals, with our own desires and urges.


Am i normal to want my hubby to catch me pleasuring myself ?

No reason why not. Huge turn on for a large portion of the population.

is it normal to mastrubate in my sleep or to wake up whilst doing it and unable to stop ?

Yes. If you're in the mood, for whatever reason, then you're in the mood. No reason not to enjoy it.

is it normal for me to be so turned on to pleasure myself whilst my hubby sleeps secretly hoping he catches me so i can watch him get turned on?

Yes. Perfectly normal. See question 1.

is it any different for men with wet dreams ?

Normally we wake up too late and make a lot of mess 😆

do men mastrubate whilst sleeping ?

Not sure. Never heard of this but I'm sure it could happen. I've woken up horny and had to knock one out before going back to sleep

what would be a mans point of view be on the above would he be disgusted ?

Depends on the man, but a lot would be turned on. Me included.

would you be mad if you woke up to your oh pleasuring themselfs ?

Hell no. I'd want to join in.

19

Like you I don't get as much time with my husband as I would like. I have had loads of erotic dreams over the past few months usually involving highly unusual celebrities!

He used to masturbate a lot in his sleep too. It was usually when he was doing a long working day and we had no time for bedroom activities. He'd be horny as hell but no energy. If I woke up I would join in and usually it was great sleepy sex!

As for worrying its not normal to want to get caught? You enjoy it, he enjoys it then hell yeah go for it. We all have out quirks, enjoy them.

20

Ahhh thanks guys


it's nice to get others perspectives on it and nice from a males perspective too

as me and my hubby didn't get much time together until now as he's just changed his job 😉 we will now have more time together now he's actually since let on that it was a big turn on for him to wake up to so things are good 😀

As for normal perhaps wrong term used

but as nothing like this had happened to me and the fact my sex drive has gone wild it sort of made me think something maybe wrong with the level of the mastrubation dreams etc that was happening lol

But we are embracing it and long may it continue
As my hubby seems to have more urges now he's not working nights 😉😀😊