So last night was a new experience. OH has been under a lot of stress lately and our love life has definitely taken a hit- thank goodness that should change after his big to-do today! I woke up around 2 in the morning, thinking the cat had made a noise, to see that OH is awake. Somehow we end up facing each other and he's got his arms around me, kissing me and beginning to get very frisky indeed. I'm vaguely aware that even though this is very nice and I'm enjoying myself, he's got a big day tomorrow, so it's best not to take things further. Shortly after that he just stops, puts an arm underneath me (which I enjoy cuddling) and is back to sleep immediately. I asked him about it this morning and he says he doesn't remember it at all! I think something's been a bit repressed lately and didn't want to wait until tonight... I swear he seemed entirely awake, and was too dextrous to seem asleep.
Has this happened to anyone else? OH says I must've been dreaming but I was most certainly not! He stirs pretty often in his sleep and makes me think he's awake, but him trying to get it on in his sleep is an entirely new thing. He doesn't sleepwalk or anything on a regular basis, just maybe a little sleep talking here and there.
It sounds as if your OH suffers with sexsomia/sleep sex and the person effected has no idea what's happened in the morning http://mysexprofessor.com/sexual-health/sexsomia-or-sleep-sex-how-sleep-disorders-are-linked-to-sex/
Is this anything that needs to be addressed by a medical professional? This is the first and only time it's happened (though I once woke up with my elbow inexplicably in his face). He's never quite been under this level of stress since we've been together. I'm not sure if that's what brought this on. No other sleep disorders, either. Now that his source of stress should be lessening (he had a big thing today) hopefully it'll clear up.
Honestly, I was fine with it when I thought he was awake, but I don't want to unintentionally follow through on anything when he's not conscious. I was *so sure* of it last night. Though I would actually like being woken up for some playtime, I only want it when both of us are actually aware of what's going on. I'll have to be more careful.
i don't know much about the condition apparently it can be controlled with medication. if it's happening a lot it would be worth seeing a doctor about it, the novelty of what's happening wont last and it can put people off to the point they wont want to sleep in the same bed as the sufferer or they'll leave them
My OH and I often have sex in the middle of the night and barely remember it happening...
Hi Mox,
Is everything else OK apart from this? I only ask because sometimes these things can be brought on by stresses at work or at home, especially if it hasn't happened before. If it's a one off thing, I wouldn't be too concerned about it. My husband doesnt' sleep walk, but he has the odd ocassion where has jumped out of bed for whatever reason, and when I question him about it in the morning, he has no recollection.
If it happens again, perhaps just consider getting him just to have a chat with his GP.
Something fairly similar happened to us.
The OH came onto me and I ended up giving him a blow job which he kept telling me was amazing and he did orgasm. However , the next morning, he couldn't remember it at all!
My oh has done this a couple of times his also seemed awake but is asleep its normally if his mega stressed on occasions his got up and started to strip the bed thinking theres a spider or something !
This sounds like "sexomnia" and I recommend Googling for even more info. I am not sure if there is anything that the medical profession can do to stop it, but it is basically a form of sleep walking. Unfortunately in some cases, being around someone with sexonmia can be scary. The issue is that when these people are asleep, they don't know what they are doing and it is common for them to become forceful and agressive in their sexomnia acts. I seriously recommend doing some research on it and even asking the doctor if there is any help.
For some people (like comments above) if the partner on the receiving end is consenting and happy to go along with it, they often report amazing sex and "it was like he/she was a different person" etc.
My ex suffered sleep walking and sexomnia and he could be quite forceful with it. No they genuinely do not know what they are doing and they feel absolutely horrified the next day! They look awake, but seem...different, slightly unresponsive maybe (Not in all cases, but my ex was)...but they still look awake and moving about as though they were. They are not though. Fast asleep!
I suffer from a sleep condition called sleep paralysis, which is kinda like the opposite of sleep walking. There is a part of our brain that paralizes us when we fall into a deep sleep, to stop us acting out our dreams, but in people who sleep walk and suffer sexonmia, this part of the brain doesnt work and doesnt paralyze them, so they act out the dream. In sleep paralysis, this part of the brain activates when the person is in between sleep and awake, so they feel awake but their body is completely paralyzed. Its pretty scary to be honest! lol
I hope you find your answers. x
It happens to me and my wife at least once a month. She used to think that I was lying when I told her that I didn't remember anything but now we see it as an added bonus, turns out to be a really good session when we eventually wake up during and we both enjoy it! No real reason for it happening, never used to happen until recently (past two years), didn't understand it but then we watched a documentary about it and it confirmed what was happening between us.
My wife has told me i have done this before though not for a few years now, the last time i did this the wife woke up to find me decorating the living room, apparently i had moved all the furniture out and painted 3/4 of the room in my sleep to this day i have no memory of this, she has often said that i have tried getting frisky in my sleep, she say she just puts her arms around me to stop my arms from moving and i stop and carry on sleeping,
went to the doctors about it and he asked if i had anything drastic change in my life recently which i had, once that situation had passed these episodes stopped
@DavidB1896, I'm thinking this is a one-off as he's never done it before. He's been under an incredible amount of stress with a huge entrance exam for a field he wants to get into. The exam was yesterday morning, and I could already tell that a weight's been lifted when he got home.
I'm hoping that if he gets in, this isn't going to start up again- he has always handled stress very well, at least from the outside. (Edit- I mean that the program he's trying to get into is VERY rigorous and is going to be like the studying was, but for years. :/ I want him to get in and be happy, but I'm also holding my breath about the changes I know it'll bring.)
@Fluffbags- sounds like what this was. He still insists it didn't happen. Our sex life has taken a real dive lately, in a way. He's been so busy studying for a huge exam that even our usually passionate weekends have been few and far between. I was honestly beginning to feel just a tiny bit put off because I've been trying to keep him happy and less stressed with quick favors here and there, even though once I asked for something there suddenly wasn't any time- though we still managed to make it to five-hour game tournaments. :/ Hopefully this'll be the end of it. Tomorrow is a holiday and we're going birdwatching, complete with picnic lunch. He just got me a snazzy pair of binoculars as a birthday present.
I think that despite our trying to exercise more and do things together (like the game we have in common, from which my username comes- those who are fans as well will know it), the stress of this exam has gotten to him more than he's let on. Now that the exam is over (fingers crossed; it was yesterday) I'm looking forward to summer. He's still going to be working, but he'll be able to leave work at work for the first time in a couple months. I didn't sleep all that much last night because I'm worried about a doc's appointment today, but he slept so much better than the past few nights.
To everybody- thank you for the advice, support and corroboration. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who's experienced this.
ovei11 wrote:
My oh has done this a couple of times his also seemed awake but is asleep its normally if his mega stressed on occasions his got up and started to strip the bed thinking theres a spider or something !
This happens to me quite often when he's away. I don't normally suffer from sleep paralysis, but since I'm not used to sleeping alone, if OH has a conference or something, I might not drift off until 3AM. Once I dreamt that he came into the room, but it turned out it wasn't him and the guy put a pillow over my face. I've also done it with imaginary spiders and woken up thinking the cat was meowing.
ShannonMarlene wrote:
Something fairly similar happened to us.
The OH came onto me and I ended up giving him a blow job which he kept telling me was amazing and he did orgasm. However , the next morning, he couldn't remember it at all!
I was just a teensy bit disappointed, because he was being so lovely and huggy! Definitely fits the bill of a sexsomniac episode. (Why does that sound like a horror movie?)
I got the idea that something was up when he had his hand halfway up my shirt and just stopped cold. :P
painted 3/4 of the room in my sleep
Oh my! Was it at least a nice color? Were you meaning to paint the room anyhow?
Mox Ruby wrote:
painted 3/4 of the room in my sleep
Oh my! Was it at least a nice color? Were you meaning to paint the room anyhow?
yes i was ment to paint it but you know some men always put it off, and it was a two tone colour scheme cream on the bottom half of the walls and a coffee chocolate colour on the top
That seems a pretty impressive feat while asleep!
Sorry ment to add "it was ment to be that colour scheme" it ended up with streaks of coffe chocolate colour here and there with splash of white on the floor and occasionally the wall
I have done all sorts of things in my sleep including throwing all the laudry out and bringing the rubbish in. I only sleep walk when I am over worked or stressed.
I have heard of people having sexual experinces in their sleep, may be worth seeking some support from someone who has experince dealing with sleep issues.