Smells down there...

Hi all,

The long and short of my question is that my partner smells down there and more often than not has 'cheese' (oh God, i couldn't think of a better word and am now gagging ![](upload://ceipqBTR0sMGMajGRWRbxCi6nYV.gif)).

He showers minimum once a day, often twice so it's not like he isn't bathing. How on earth do I bring this up?! It's gotten to the point now where it's there more often than not. We're 2 years in but I've only noticed it more recently. Sometimes the smell just hits me when he takes his boxers off or when we lift the duvet up, or sometimes I can feel it when I've got him in my hand.

It's so embarassing I have no clue how to bring it up, but it's totally killed my sex drive as I try to avoid it or just try and get it over and done with s quickly as possible and I feel terrible.

Any advice on how to be tactful?

Ewww 😷

Given that you say he showers twice a day, are we maybe talking STI here rather than hygeine related?

Maybe he's just not quite cleaning down there properly? Does he have foreskin? Is he pulling it back to clean himself properly when he showers. Maybe you could get in the shower with him. Have a little fun washing each other, pull that foreskin back and give him a good erotic scrub. See if that teaches him anything.
Not sure if there is any sort of medical condition that could cause this but could be possible.

That hadnt even crossed my mind...?!

What type of thing could it be?!

He does have foreskin.

I'd considered the whole showering together thing, but considering it's like 80% of the time it's just not practical because it would be every shower

Tell him to get to the gp 🤢 It's probably as simple as he's not drying off properly which can lead to bacterial infection. Have him wear loose fitting clothes and make sure he's washing and drying thoroughly.

How would you bring that up in conversation though Violetwolf?

Oh dear what a predicament.

It sounds silly but was he ever taught to pull back the foreskin and clean there?

The answer is easy though. Suggest it might be fun to shower together and do it for him. Turn it into foreplay and then tell him how he now smells/tastes so nice.

With luck he will become aware of what you like and do it himself.

Good luck.

Just tell him. It's not pleasant and if it's left it will just get worse. Sometimes it really is better to just get it out in the open, rather than beating around the bush! 🙊

Bloody hell, by the time I write a post the rest of you have been in and made mine superfluous, Oh well.

He could be sensitive to soaps/body wash which is causing a bacterial imbalance, try changing to a shower gel tosomething like sanex zero as they have less chemicals but still do the job

Look up Smegma - youtube embarressing bodies.. If you have access to UKTV play (I have it on BT Youview) , on Really TV channel they have Embarressing Bodies Penis eposode,

As others have said, it could be that he's not pulling his foreskin back, which would cause a build up of smegma.

Another thought along the bacterial infection line, is that he might have thrush. I've had it in the past and it bloody horrible. Is he sore down there?

As far as bringing it up, I don't think there's any easy way to do that. I'd be mortified if my OH said something, but I'd hopefully notice before she did!

Be as gentle as possible about it, and do it away from the bedroom. We're a sensitive bunch!

Modo wrote:

Bloody hell, by the time I write a post the rest of you have been in and made mine superfluous, Oh well.

They do that. But its good for someone to get half a dozen answers rather than none at all. ;-)

VioletWolf wrote:

Just tell him. It's not pleasant and if it's left it will just get worse. Sometimes it really is better to just get it out in the open, rather than beating around the bush! 🙊

I'm a streight talking girl and yes I would say, I think there is something wrong.

There are several things it could be, like a reaction to washing materials like shower gel, it could be a yeast infection, it could be a STI. The long and short of it is he needs to see the GP.

The best way I can think of saying something is just streight out. For example when he gets out of the shower, a quick handle of him and maybe say, get back in there you missed a bit. Then he will know that he either needs to pay greater attention to his washing technique, or that there is a problem down there.

Personally I would expect him to know himself, but men are often embarrassed about things like this and don't know what or how to go about things. Dr's and nurses are use to seeing a penis, it's really no issue to the medical staff, so he needs to go to the GP, it might help him if you go with him to hold his hand, and maybe fill in the gaps when he is about to say everything's fine to the Dr.

I agree that he should go to his GP. It needs to get checked up. There is no pus coming out of his urethra? And he has no problems with urinating? He should not worry about showing his penis to a doctor, they are so used to seeing penises that it's just the same as examining an arm.

Sxleksaker wrote:

He should not worry about showing his penis to a doctor, they are so used to seeing penises that it's just the same as examining an arm.

But usually smaller...

agree with others it could well be an STI if he wont go to Dr and get it checked out hes going to pass it on to you if you go bareback, It could also be an off balance in his PH levels from using fragranced shower stuff or barred soap get him some femfresh

TBH its instances like these that you get to know the calibre of the person you're seeing. If they won't see a GP over something like this, that ultimately affects their own health but also those they want to sleep with, what does that say about their ability to take responsibility for anything that needs to faced up to in life that needs addressing.

I'm taking life changing decisions, such as debt, children and other such issues that should be dealt with maturely no matter how inconvienient, embarrassing or dangerous. Its your health too on the line, if its nothing drastic great, who wouldn't want that to be the case, if it is, maybe they'll thank you

Thanks for your advice guys, I might try the 'oops you missed a bit part' Fun Louise, if that fails I guess I'll have to go head on.

He had a routine STI check 12 months ago when he came out in red bumps on his thighs, which turned out to be a bacterial thing and not STI related at all. He told me about this and has told me about other embarassing things he's been to the doctors for so not going to the GP isn't an issue.

I genuinely think he doesn't know, but I don't know how?! There have been times when we have been casually playing with it in a non-sexual way and I've seen it (assuming he must have to) and he hasnt jumped up. I'm well and truly confused because it wasn't always like this so he knows it's not normal.

Crikey. It sounds even worse typing it out!