I have a blindfold so I’ll give that a go, never thought to use it on my own - we usually use it for relaxation when we give each other a massage. I was considering a collar or gag but I’m not sure how much it would add. Maybe a collar with nipple clamps might work
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I get it totally. I tested the waters with my husband shortly after we got together and he didn’t show any interest. I left it for nearly 16 years before I asked him to just lightly bite me during foreplay. The pleasure he got from my pleasure ignited a little curiosity so I asked if he would be happy pulling my hair aswell so he did and he’s gradually increased intensity as he feels comfortable. Anyway with little steps we are due to do our first ‘proper’ scene on Friday with floggers, spankers, ticklers etc. and I can’t wait and we will build up a bit more after that.
My point being it may be a good idea to ask him to do something that’s not technically associated with BDSM and seeing what his thoughts are. May be less scary to him than saying, here’s a whip, hurt me 
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I think you’re right there @Kh1985. I’ve introduced blindfolds and nipple clamps so far. A little bit at a time 
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Sounds like you have the solo play worked out well now. With your partner you could try adding small parts, like just the cuffs or blindfolds. I feel if you request to be spanked while in the doggy position it will happen (it is hard for me not too lol)
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I tried that one didn’t get the desired response! I think it was a bit too much too quickly
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Wow, you couldn’t stop me, we have a long belt that goes around her so i have something to hold onto lol. Does sounds like your in on this one solo then. Or you end up with what my OH does, where she will do what you want just she wont enjoy it or get excited by it, which for me kills the whole thing. Looks like your nipples are going to cop it, could always get some clothes pegs a go by your self.
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Hey @Kitty-Cat01!
You’ve already had some good suggestions of blindfold, pinwheel, wax play, easily removed gag and a paddle which I also echo.
Have you thought about self bondage? Tying your legs spread to the bed (hands free obviously so you can untie) or attaching some rope/silk ties to your ponytail if you’ve got longer hair and tying that to your bed frame for example. This can also mimic having your hair pulled with certain movements (just be careful not to strain your neck of course!).
If you enjoy porn, you could also have a look at masturbation instruction videos (sometimes referred to as ‘jerk off instruction’ or ‘JOI’). Granted the majority of these are aimed at penis owners but I have found a few in the past that are aimed at people with vulvas. It may help to get in that mindset of someone else telling you what to do and feeling like you’re submitting. Similarly, you may find blindfolding yourself and listening to some audio porn that is descriptive and has a dominant aspect to it fulfils some of that desire (with a little imagination of course).
If your partner is open to it, could you suggest he maybe writes you some instructions for your solo sessions? That way he is not physically involved but there is still an element of control and submission to ‘obeying his orders’ so to speak. Obviously if he feels uncomfortable with it then it’s not appropriate, and you have to respect his boundaries (which is sounds like you are doing which is fab) but I thought I’d mention it as a possibility.
Good luck in your exploration!
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Good luck & enjoy your exploration of you! We’ve found Evie Lupine on YouTube a huge help in many facets of BDSM, can’t recommend her enough!
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Some excellent tips already. I recommend a collar and leash. When I’m alone and feeling horny I’ll edge myself (no cumming) on my knees with my collar on which i tie to the leg of our bed. It wasn’t intentional but I can see myself in the mirror and it’s a very provocative image. Perhaps something you could do with a vibrator or just your fingers?
Careful not to have it too tight and easily removable etc
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Thanks for all the suggestions @SexInTheCity @LisaLips and @SubCharles x
I like the idea of tieing my legs to the bed, that could work. I usually bring my legs together when I orgasm and it’s a lot harder to do it with legs apart so that could be interesting 
I’ve got lots of good ideas now, thanks everyone 
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Lots of good advice on here. Performing in front of a full length mirror is not everyone’s cup of tea but it will provide that bdsm fantasy moment.
I would suggest adding a hood, we have a leather one but LH have other options, with eye nose and mouth opening, and adding a ball gag to the ensemble.
Connecting the clamps to a collar also gives you the opportunity to add some tugging by tilting your head back. LH have a ball gag with clamps attached which we haven’t tried but looks very interesting.
Using the flogger for self flagelation is a great idea and can work. A real turn on if you have the space to enact a fantasy in front of the mirror. Just be careful with over indulgence as you might have to explain the red stripes across your legs, buttocks, breasts, etc.
Thanks @collector.
I think I’m going to have to try that one. I have nipple clamps so just need the collar.
I was thinking that might be a problem. I’m hoping that, with time, I can be more open with my OH about this and there won’t be any need to hide marks etc. Maybe if he sees that I do it on my own and enjoy it, he might be more open to trying it with me. That’s what happened with the nipple clamps anyway.
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Hi @Kitty-Cat01 
I was in the same position as you, partner never wanted to know about BDSM and I was really into it, everyone’s given good suggestions so far, I’d go for the self-bondage option, it’s exciting and you learn a new wee skill in tying different knots and positions!
Have you thought about self-edging? It can be quite exciting, the power play with yourself, if you can deny yourself even when you don’t want to it’s makes for a more intense orgasm once you decide to let yourself go! Have you tried using a bondage candle on yourself? It sets the mood and then dripping it on yourself can be quite nice, something I do quite often!
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I do a bit of self edging (I didn’t know it had a name until I found this forum). I find I can only have one orgasm so I like to do this to make things last longer and I enjoy holding myself on the edge exciting and, like you said, it gives me much stronger orgasms!
The candle does appeal. All the ones I’ve found are black or red which I would like but I think it would be rather obvious what they were for, it would be great if the came in pretty colours so they can be left out in front of family / friends without raising eyebrows! I guess I could put them away but I can imagine getting wax over anything they were sat next to even when cold!
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I’m exactly the same when it comes to edging. I normally edge for a few hours before orgasm and it’s normally a crazy good one.
Since your post I’ve been looking into wax candles too. Love that you could leave them out and no-one would know haha
@Kitty-Cat01 I wish you success in your solo play . many great suggestions from everyone . I am a 99% solo act and am always thinking of new ways to have fun . I have a beginners bondage kit and if you check my photos out you will see one in use . I do a double wrap without tying the ends . That way there is some resistance but can be pulled free in case of a cramp , LOL . A bed wedge I often use to elevate my bum with a remote controlled prostrate massager in . I find running the flogger across my skin does more for me than actually lashing myself . Nipple suckers are a favorite . If you look at my pictures , I have my own versions of most and a whole bunch more private ones . That way you can look at a point of view another person would see and that helps excite me . I will watch a video of my solo play while repeating it live . Remember , your brain is your largest sex organ ! Enjoy !
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Just had a bit of play time and thought I’d try threading the chain of my nipple clamps behind the bed frame. Attached it to my nipples and positioned a vibrator just out of reach so that I got a good tug when I sat back! 
I think I need a longer chain but other than that it was a successful experiment
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You can find candles in different colours! I used to burn mine in front of anyone, the fifty shades candles were so nice to make the room smell gorgeous! I had to buy my friends and family a few as gifts as they always commented on the smell and knowing it was a bondage candle never bothered them.
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Candles seem like such a simple but effective way to start off with
Leg spreaders are something ive considered for solo. Theres also a forced orgasm belt on the site that would work. Imagine someone has instructed that you have to have a certain number of orgasms (dice might work well for this), put your hands somewhere and imagine you’ve been instructed not to move them (bed frame works well for this) until youve hit that number.
Shabari isnt something ive ever done, but the ornamental type (non restraining) strikes me a something that might be possible to pull off solo (need someone whos done it to say definitively on this)
Remote/phone controlled vibe would also work well combined with other things. Might be something your partner is more open to trying with you
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