Hey everyone
So I'm in a new relationship, we've known each other 12 weeks, have met twice (it's a LDR). We have spoken on the phone and skyped lots, so we are getting to know each other really well.
His last relationship was very vanilla (his words), but he is very open minded to trying new things. We have talked about spanking, which we really want to try together. He has very little experience of this. I have a bit more, in my last relationship we did spanking quite a lot but it was more of a Dom/sub role.
My new man isn't a Dom, so this kind of approach isn't going to work. So how can we get into the spanking in a natural way, without going down the whole 'you've been a naughty girl' type thing.
Any advice greatly received :)
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Just go for it.
Last time I got involved with spanking was part of a very sensual massage which progressed to different sensuality type playing using warm and cold, scratching as well as spanking with a paddle and flogging too.
Spanking doesn't have to be a punishment, hence the 'naughty girl' scenario and can always be regarded as a treat too.
Just remember if if he is new to it all, that you will need to do a lot of communication so he knows what your body is in tune with.
I've seen newbies go straight in heavy handed and ruin a scene for the receiver, since they think it's like they've seen it in the movies!
Just talk about it D, pull down your trousers, bend over and let him spank you...
"yes I liked that, can you do it harder."
"maybe a bit quicker between hits next time"
"not so high up near the back"
Just like you might if he was using a dildo on you or something, tell him what is good and what is not good - it doesn't have to be in the guise of reward/punishment - if you can aliken it to other sexual activity then it'll all click into place
I wrote a thing on the blog that'll help too
I think it would be easy for him to incorporate some spanking with his palm while in doggy style :)
Maybe a sexy message first with some nice oil. He can spank you bum then rub it better.
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Sum Sub wrote:
Just talk about it D, pull down your trousers, bend over and let him spank you...
"yes I liked that, can you do it harder."
"maybe a bit quicker between hits next time"
"not so high up near the back"
Just like you might if he was using a dildo on you or something, tell him what is good and what is not good - it doesn't have to be in the guise of reward/punishment - if you can aliken it to other sexual activity then it'll all click into place
I wrote a thing on the blog that'll help too
+1 Just tell him how much it turns you on, and how it makes you feel. I'm sure that when he sees your reaction there will be no issues with it - lol ;) xx
Stick your bottom out inviting him to give you a playful spank. That's how we started and now my Mrs is always doing it as part of our normal interaction when we are alone. It will help him to normalise it.
Thank you everyone for the advice :)
I'm now feeling much more confident about the whole thing. I know he is going to be more nervous than me and maybe feel awkward, so it's really up to me to make sure the whole situation is relaxed and natural.
Excited but a little nervous :)
You could try role playing and bring spanking in to it. I know this would work well.
Scorpius12 wrote:
Sum Sub wrote:
Just talk about it D, pull down your trousers, bend over and let him spank you...
"yes I liked that, can you do it harder."
"maybe a bit quicker between hits next time"
"not so high up near the back"
Just like you might if he was using a dildo on you or something, tell him what is good and what is not good - it doesn't have to be in the guise of reward/punishment - if you can aliken it to other sexual activity then it'll all click into place
I wrote a thing on the blog that'll help too
+1 Just tell him how much it turns you on, and how it makes you feel. I'm sure that when he sees your reaction there will be no issues with it - lol ;) xx
This .......☺
Hope it goes well and you have fun together xx
There was a recent forum about spanking and I thought one piece of advice was great. I can't remember who posted it but...
Try getting a paddle each and chase each other around the bedroom trying to land some smacks on the bottom. There could be prizes for the winner. More spanks for example?
Thought I'd update this as we spent the last few days together.
It wasn't awkward but we were both a little hesitant to start with.He he sat on the bed wearing jeans and t-shirt as I laid over his knees wearing this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36370
He gave me a lovely red bum :)
Later on we went out for dinner and drinks and when we got home we tried again. As we were both a little more uninhibited due to the alcohol it was a bit more relaxed.
I asked him how he wanted me and he said on my hands and knees, so of course I obliged...
I put my head on the mattress as we got into it, and he held my head down as he pulled my hair and spanked me lots...
It was such a turn on! We had to do it twice!
I got a lovely red and bruised bum, which looks great today, and he got a bruised hand.
It was such a massive turn on, and seeing him so turned on by doing it really did it for me.
Thanks for all the advice guys :)
Congratulations. I'm pleased it went well for you and was relaxed and didn't feel awkward for either of you.
bondagegod wrote:
Congratulations. I'm pleased it went well for you and was relaxed and didn't feel awkward for either of you.
Thank you. I feel much more confident now to have spanking just because I/we like it. Rather than in a sub/Dom or roleplay scenario :)
I'm so pleased it is working out so well for you D 😘 xx
That is good you feel more confident now and was a pleasureable experience that you enjoyed being spanked because you both like it just for pleasure purposes.
Hi
It is great you are talking about things and exploring new things together.
When I met my husband I was very vanilla and I really thought that was how I was but over the years and many discussions we have explored many new things including spanking. Which we thoroughly enjoy both in a Dom/sub situation or as foreplay.
Wish you lots of fun as you grow in your relationship x
I like being scratched, sometimes standing up kissing we scratch each others backs which feels great. Only very occasionally does my wife go too crazy painful on the scratching but most of the time it’s fine.
I would like to try a session where she scratches me everywhere. I can return the favour too will ask her.
She sometimes pats and grabs my bum but think that she thinks it’s being silly even though I actually quite like it.
I bought a LH beginner flogger and have used it on myself and it’s actually pretty painful. It can be used as teasing tickling or flogging but the little arms actually sting even on little whacks.
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Sum Sub has it spot on.
Spanking doesn’t have to be part of a scenario. It can be done just because you enjoy it.
She began spanking me about a week ago after 48 years of marriage.
I asked if she would try it, she agreed and we gave it a try. We talk to each other all the time. I tell her where the blows feel best, how hard she can hit and so on. Most importantly I tell her how much I am enjoying it and how grateful I am.
Afterwards I thank her, tell her how much I love her and reassure her that she is doing no permanent harm.
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