I would like to know the order of different types of spanking materials/objects to the different pain levels given? For example is paddle the lowest pain given for a newbie. Where does a ruler and crop come in? Is a flogger the highest pain level? What other things have people used and what was it pain level? What do you recommend for newbies/intermediate and advance level spanking? Thanks xx
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I think you will find a cane will be highest.
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Thank you so much that so helpful, I already own a paddle and ruler but that it. My husband afraid of hurting me but I kind of want him to relax and get on with it.
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Hi lush89 try a nice riding Corp the pain level is about mid way then if you want to go try a short cane
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Hi alica4ever I know a female submissive who while being spanked and caned often has a orgasm,it is a pity that you have no one to do it for you anymore
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before I got with my now partner I was playing at being sub to a lovely guy (it was just fun and not at all serious, that’s why I say “playing”) I loved my cane and still think of it, depends on your pain threshold but you only get to know that by playing! The cane always gave me some really wicked bruises but that was part of the appeal.
Agree that obviously it has to be based on trust though on both sides and if one side of the partnership isn’t sure… Well let me know how you get over that one please!
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He says he doesn’t mind doing it but he doesn’t want to hit to hard. Mmm
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yeah Doesn’t want to hurt me, same deal with holding me down or hands around throat, being cared about enough to not want to hurt me is great… But sometimes…sigh 
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To be fair he a really sweet husband but just needs to learn his dominant side more. I would say in our daily life’s, I am in control but sometimes in the bedroom I want to get punished and controlled by him more. He knows I would not ever allow him to abuse me in anyway and I am not afraid to say no.
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I have explained a few times that he not hurting me. When he does something I really like I am more noisier (moans) etc and tell him.
I did fill out a fifty shade of grey style contract of all the things I am willing to do and try. He read through this and filled one out for me to read on all the thing he would like to do and try.
Overall we were very similar on things we wanted to do apart from filming sex, he said no. We both agreed we would do bondage and spanking but would not cause or leave any bruising or skin cutting. I think it more he doesn’t know his own strength levels on how hard to hit.
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Anyone else read through this now gagging to be spanked? 
No? Just me? 
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I love it…and yes. Only finding a partner that will do it is difficult…only been spanked properly once…I’ll never forget it…
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I am so sorry that happened to you that should have never happened. I am glad you are dealing with it and surviving it, it show your a really strong person. If I think things are not going right I will stop it straight away. Stay safe.
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He can start gently and build up, if or when it gets too much use a safe word. Let him know aftercare is just as important as a scene, it can bring him back to a comfortable head space just as much as you.
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There are good guides on LH to help steer you in the right direction. Also we have found - Evie Lupine on youtube invaluable!
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So informative! Great reply @Alicia4Ever. I’ve never know much about this so it was an interesting read!
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I think most floggers are low on the pain score but it depends what they are made from. We have one that is seriously intense!!
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We’ve got a small flogger that gives a soft sting, it’s got a rigid but soft handle that can be used to bite down on for a more painful spank!
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That looks like it could be bloody painfull in the wrong hands or the right hands i suppose depending on your point of view.
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I find his hand, the leather paddle or rubber soled plimsole are the lowest pain, followed by wooden ruler or a wooden spoon. Can’t decide next between our wooden paddle with holes or the crop as the paddle is more thuddy but the crop can deliver a good sting (which I love), so totally different pain from each. Advanced, the LH Extreme Silicon paddle which delivers a really good sting and you def know it when you have been spanked with it, the highest pain level has got to be the cane.
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