Hi, I want to start spanking my partner, we have tried lots of sex toys, he loves the nipple clamps and I think a spank or whip would be good to move onto, how would you recommend I introduce it??


Start by using your hand, a gentle slap and then move to a soft leather whip, brush it over your partner then gently whip and then head to paddles.

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I’d say with an open conversations…just tell him its something you’d like to try…and see if he’s up for it. I’ve got a paddle and a flogger, both offer different sensations - I bought it to use on the missus - as I had ideas of wanting to use it on her…but she wasn’t that keen when we talked about it. Thankfully her naughty side likes to use them on me every now and then…im not going to say no :slight_smile:

The paddle ive got is this one - Its not harsh at all - defo a good beginners paddle.


Hi and welcome to the forum.

I think the best way to introduce something is to talk to your partner about it. There is quite a difference between nipple clamps and impact play so it’s probably best not to spring it on him. Not trying to put you off, there’s a good chance he may be up for it, but talking is best.

If he is interested, I’d suggest a simple, leather/faux leather flogger with falls between 15-30cm long and/or a paddle with different sides like this one to give different sensations when you hit and of course your hands.


As everyone else has said, first you need to talk about it; find out whether he actually likes the idea of being spanked. Assuming that he does, then (if you haven’t done so already), agree a safe word and start with some light spanking either with your hand or with a lightweight paddle. Don’t just go at it full-tilt from the get-go or you’ll shock him into a panic state and stand the risk of putting him right off the experience for good, before it’s even started. Warm up first with light strokes, and remember to spread them around, so you cover the whole target area: don’t just keep whacking the same spot, and if possible try to vary the frequency and strength of the smacks as you go.

Check in with him at intervals to ensure that what’s happening is still working for him. Assuming that he’s doing fine with it, you could then try moving on to a stingier / more severe implement - or you might want to leave that step for a later occasion. Communication is everything, and it will continue to be so no matter how far down the BDSM road you two find yourselves exploring. :slightly_smiling_face:

Extra reading:


Hi @ChaseWilliams, spanking is great fun! I whip/spank/flog my partner using a riding crop and flogger generally and it’s great!

As some of the other replies have suggested, I’d also recommend starting with your hand, though I find the riding crop, though it looks a bit intimidating at first, is easier to control force and if your aim is a bit poor, it’s an easier toy to use in my opinion!

Floggers require a bit more accuracy or you end up whipping your partner’s genitals if you’re not careful, and for most that’s not a good thing… unless you’re into that.

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It’s very much what he would like. I love thuddy pain rather than stingy so we use a lot of heavy floggers and paddles etc. Were have a couple of stingy canes which we are working towards gently as I want to be able to take it. I love the thought of lines going down from my ass all the way down my thighs!
I would say a conversation and go from there. I wouldnt just introduce it as a surprise. Make sure you negotiate and get consent :blush: if you both want it, go for it! Just start slow and work it up. Perhaps use a traffic light system so after each slap make it harder and harder and he needs to say green (keep going) Amber (I’m bearing my limit) red ( stop… I cant take anything more) this is a good way to start so you can get an idea of his pain threshold x


I’d just crack out the whip one night haha :joy:

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Welcome to the forum @ChaseWilliams

Maybe start with something like a rope flogger or a paddle to begin with as they aren’t so harsh.
Then work your way up to a whip as they are lethal :smiling_imp:

Like @AJSTAR says - just whip it out one night when he’s already cuffed up, have a little play and enjoy it, don’t go too hard on him at first.

Afterwards I would have a discussion about how you both enjoyed it and whether it could be harder next time.