I feel like some way along the line my husband & I have lost our sex spark. We have 2young children who take up the majority of our time as well as both working demanding jobs. Before kids we were always at it, we could not get enough of each other, but since having children we only ever have the odd quickie. I feel like my libido has plummeted and id love to get it back and have that dirty sweaty non scheduled in sex.
Can anyone give me any useful ways to try get the sex spark and libido back. (I love my husband very much and find him super attractive I just don’t have the same spontaneity)
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Hi @Harr and welcome to the forum.
I’m sure there will be more insightful advice from others.
But we were feeling the same as you in some aspects and the only thing that i would say worked for us is pure 100% honest communication and concentrating on more quality over quantity. We still only manage to squeeze in quickies here and there most times but they can still be highly sexual and spicy.
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I fully understand what you mean as it sounds like a fairly similar situation to me and my partner. We just started getting a lot dirtier and kinkier started trying lots of different things and even quickies can still be spicy and fun
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Shoe on the other foot here. We have sex maybe once every 2 weeks so Mrs. Val is not the intimate type… I have a very high sex drive and it can be frustrating. I just spend alot more time outside doing little jobs… I love the farm life. Keeps my mind off of sex…lol
Take time to play with each other - get yourself some naughty lingerie and just touch and talk to each other and re light that spark - dont just jump on his penis - touch and play
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We found talking dirty helped dips in libido. This led to more adventurous play with toys etc. We’re both now more open to each others fantasies and kinks.
Talking is the place to start I think, more sexy talk leads to feeling more sexy
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Very similar situation here but its my wife is the one with less interest (probably down to tirdness, stress of 3 small kids and some body confidence after having kids). But if roles were reversed my interest would be peaked by simple things such as downloading some of the positions of the day from here and send it asking would you like to try this, wake him with a blow or handjob, maybe some racy night wear, or surprise him by having nothing on under the covers. Even something as simple as sitting on his lap and whispering take me, fuck me or make me cum (indivdually or all together 
) would have me sprinting for the bedroom.
Be bold, subtle hints may not work espically if your both worn out with the day to day stuff and your out of practice, a hint may be missed if its not expected.
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Hiya @Harr
Is there someone that can look after the kids overnight? Or a babysitter that would allow you and your hubby to go on a date? Sometimes the excitement of dressing up and being taken out puts a wee spring in your step. Then you can carry on all the date night fun when you get home.
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Hey!
I found for us playing sex board games, especially ones that encourage creativity and conversation help.
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I think its time for a weekend away, hopefully without the kids if at all possible. Get some lovely sexy lingerie on and a few toys and enjoy the weekend, Remember what it was like when you first met. No phones to distract you. Just you and him.
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