I was talking about this with OH. We have three children and we tend to schedule in our sex lives. Like if we're both at home while they're at school, or if we need an early night, it'll generally be flagged up in advance (often very subtly).
We are both really happy with the anticipation but it did lead to a question:
Does anyone do the whole Hollywood ideal of just kissing and getting carried away? Or are people more organised like us?
Cheers!
My partner and I are long distance so spontaneity is a thing of the past I'm afraid. We just don't have the time or the energy to be ready at all times. I love the kind of throw down sex you get in the beginning but honestly, it's just not as satisfying for me in terms of orgasms as when we plan it. I think it's because we're both comfortable and can make an event of it. You can't really wear kinky lingerie if you're being spontaneous. Horses for courses but I'm totally happy with my sex schedule.x
It depends
As a person I would classify myself as a romantic type . So for me/us the slow kissing ,snogging, cuddling does often happen.Some time when we get in from a night out The slow undressing normally starts during this process as well. As we have a kid we cannot get to carried away downsrtairs so we will carry on upstairs as if we were still on the settee complete with TV on .
Our main thing is rioleplaying and that does need a more formal timeslot as it needs a lot of organisation as regards costumes implements etc. I normally organise everything in a morning for playing in the evening.
We also like skin sensual with light bondage and again that will be more organised not in a too dissimilar way to the role playing and have a bedroom lockin for an evening. Yes the bedroom door does have a lock on it as I don't think our son would want to see his mum,tied and spreadeagled to the bed ! So if you have kids then that is one little DIY job that you could proritise .It will make everything that much more enjoyable and with the peace of mind that nobody can burst in.
Thats us but everyone is different .
For myself and my partner spontaneity is everything. We often in advance set up agreements of certain situations that we would be comfortable with spontaeous sex in, for example coming back from a long day of lectures or cooking alone in the kitchen. This means that afterwards conversation is not necessary meaning that the spontaneity factor is still there.
That said, there is a lot of times he throws me on the bed and starts screwing me, and that is always good...
As said above, would definitely recommend a lock on the door and make sure you make time for yourself! (obviously children come first, but still)
A bit of both...
Sleepy wake-up sex is always spontaneous; but then if I'm in for a pegging, then that's sort of agreed in advance.
Thanks for the answers - it's really interesting. And just to point out we're really happy - we've been together over twenty five years and are still taking every opportunity we can! It looks like it's the sort of thing that just happens as realtionships mature.
And yes, we do have a lock on the door. Late night in bed "do you want to lock the door?" is kind of a code word ;-)
We have a bit of both sometimes sex kind of just happens. We start by hugging or kissing and everything progresses from there, other times it is kind of scheduled, like this morning my partner told me he wanted every part of me when he gets in tonight. Even scheduled sex is not set in stone one or both of us may not fancy it.
I found a beautiful Ivory corset today so I am going to suprise my partner with it tonight.
We also have a child so we have to be careful not to get carried away sometimes, but once she is asleep its fair game.
Yeah kids defiantly change things. I feel your pain.
If I have bought some new lingerie or we know we will have the house to ourselves then it's more organised but normally we start kissing & then all of a sudden, clothes are coming off. I definitely prefer it to be spontaneous but it can't always be like that.