Hi recently my wife and I were a little tipsy and we're talking about porn and fantasies, nothing strange in this. The thing is she confided that her favorite porn is lesbian and her favorite fantasy is a mature woman using her. She also says she is totally 100% straight. Now I couldn't believe this as this type of thinking can only mean that she's at the very least bisexual.
Now the thing is like to know is if any woman out there has the same favorite thinking as my wife.
I'm not worried I was just wondering if it was a pooular thing amongst women.
Thanks for your advice.
Saying that she has to at the very least be bi-sexual just for having that fantasy and for preferring lesbian porn just doesn't seem to make sense to me. Sexuality, to me, can be a fluid thing and there is a whole spectrum besides the hetero, gay and bi-sexual labels. Sure, maybe you are right and she is in fact not really 100% straight but the thing is.. if that is how she sees herself then who are we to say she's not? And more importantly: does the way she labels her sexuality actually even matter? I would think not :)
Now as for me, to answer your question, I do prefer lesbian porn but unlike your wife I don't think of myself as 100% straight. If I really have to give my sexuality a label then I'd probably go with bi-curious. Lovehoney only works with what I consider to be the "traditional" labels for profiles though so on my profile you will just find that it says bi-sexual as that was the closest I could get.
The reason that I would label myself bi-curious instead of bi-sexual is that I do like women but I have never been with one nor do I have any intentions to do so at the moment and thus I'm not sure if I am really into women the same way I am into men. This could also be the case with your wife but maybe she has just never heard of this label before and again I still don't think it really matters all that much. I find that life is a lot easier when you're not continously trying to label yourself one way or another actually. Just go with the flow!
Have you asked her exactly what about the fantasy she enjoys? Forced bisexuality isn't a particularly unusual fetish (there's a definition here: https://www.kinkly.com/definition/6667/forced-bi ) so it may be the fact she is straight that makes the fantasy hot. The power imbalance, the conflict, feeling helpless....without actually asking you won't know what it is that does it for her.
As for porn, I don't watch it so I'm probably not best placed to comment but this article might shed some light on it: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a34283/straight-women-who-prefer-lesbian-porn/
Me and my wife watch porn and she too prefers lesbians porn. I asked her one day to watch porn with me and as we watched a few videos I noticed that she breathed heavier when watching lesbians porn
So I put only lesbian porn on one night and when I took off her thongs her pussy was soaking. Safe to say the sex that night was extremely erotic. Now we watch porn like twice a month.
The only porn I watch is lesbian and recently I've gotten into more mature woman/young girl porn, there's just something about it that is very alluring.
I'm not bisexual, I'm curious but I wouldn't act on it (this was forced by an ex and made me feel uncomfortable about my curiousity but now I can enjoy it when I choose), anyone can be 100% straight but we are all curious to some extent.
There's a fine line between being curious and acting on it, only she knows her sexuality. It sounds like it's something she is turned on by but in reality may not do it and is happy with it being a fantasy, take it as a good note she told you so she trusts you with her fantasies ^_^ Talk about it with her and explore each others fantasies and desires ^_^
I agree that sexuality is very fluid. We can change our outlook in the course of our adult years...A lot of how we feel about sex and sexuality will stem from our formative years and influences from our parents / carers and our peers. But at the end of the day, we are what we are, and we owe it to ourselves to be true to us. So yes, I think quite a few women will have attraction to other women. I know I do, though I've never even kissed another female. But I like watching girl on girl porn, and I like the idea of a threesome involving another woman. Equally though, I like the idea of a threesome with two men. The thing about fantasies is that our imagination helps us address our subconscious desires in a safe way...The reality of a situation though could be VERY different. Potentially harmful or dangerous even...Hands All Over wrote:
Saying that she has to at the very least be bi-sexual just for having that fantasy and for preferring lesbian porn just doesn't seem to make sense to me. Sexuality, to me, can be a fluid thing and there is a whole spectrum besides the hetero, gay and bi-sexual labels. Sure, maybe you are right and she is in fact not really 100% straight but the thing is.. if that is how she sees herself then who are we to say she's not? And more importantly: does the way she labels her sexuality actually even matter? I would think not :)
Now as for me, to answer your question, I do prefer lesbian porn but unlike your wife I don't think of myself as 100% straight. If I really have to give my sexuality a label then I'd probably go with bi-curious. Lovehoney only works with what I consider to be the "traditional" labels for profiles though so on my profile you will just find that it says bi-sexual as that was the closest I could get.
The reason that I would label myself bi-curious instead of bi-sexual is that I do like women but I have never been with one nor do I have any intentions to do so at the moment and thus I'm not sure if I am really into women the same way I am into men. This could also be the case with your wife but maybe she has just never heard of this label before and again I still don't think it really matters all that much. I find that life is a lot easier when you're not continously trying to label yourself one way or another actually. Just go with the flow!
I quite enjoy watching girl on girl action. I'm straight but have never been with a girl myself. Don't think I'd actually go there but I like to watch it. Not particularly bothered what this makes me either! Happy with my sexuality :)
Doesnt have to mean shes bisexual :)
Lesbian porn is also one of my faves and the fantasy of being with a woman is hot. I had a threesome involving a female and found that in practice it actually does nothing for me to be with a female. I didnt hate it, but I could feel in my bones I am 100% straight and am happy to never be with a female again for the rest of my life. Despite all this, lesbian porn has remained a fave and the fantasy still persists :)
Fantasies are just in your head, and just because the idea turns you on in some way doesnt necessarily mean you actually want/need to act on it :)
I'm straight and I like watching lesbian porn because I like to think that being with an older experienced woman means that she would know how to make a woman feel good. That reasoning, plus the fact that it's something different- something that I will never do makes it a bit naughtier to watch- adds to the excitement.
I have watched lesbian porn too , think it's quite hot even though I am straight. Nothing wrong with it 😂
Women have a different Empathy and Perception of emotion compared to Males...
Don't quote me on this :-
But apparently women outperform men with their ability to identify emotion.
The sound of another woman having a real Lesbian orgasm compared to fake squeals when with a man, is potentially far more arousing for your Wife than she imagines.
No she is not Bi Sexual or even Bi Couriouse. It a natural reaction very similar to how she would respond to a crying baby. or wounded animal screeching
In short. Us men are just neanderthals at everything. Hail the power of Woman
Very interesting debate.
Anybody a Psychologist out there with a hard data or whitepaper
my partner of six years had experimented 3 times with women before she met me.
She knew her marriage was on a downward spiral and she wanted to try something that she was curious about. I have watched porn with her,and her choice has been ff porn. I have asked her if she would do it again and she said probably not, BUT if the time was there MAYBE.
How would i feel about it she asked,and i said i wouldnt mind because it was something she had done before she met me....after all who am i to say no at least shes not going off with some random bloke. But after all this...shes not a lesbian,she gets turned on when watching ff...ffm porn, and we have a fantastic sex life.
Sabe a Fresa wrote:
Women have a different Empathy and Perception of emotion compared to Males...
Don't quote me on this :-
But apparently women outperform men with their ability to identify emotion.
The sound of another woman having a real Lesbian orgasm compared to fake squeals when with a man, is potentially far more arousing for your Wife than she imagines.
No she is not Bi Sexual or even Bi Couriouse. It a natural reaction very similar to how she would respond to a crying baby. or wounded animal screeching
In short. Us men are just neanderthals at everything. Hail the power of Woman
Very interesting debate.
Anybody a Psychologist out there with a hard data or whitepaper
Hey psychology graduate here and got interested and looked around some journals.
Found that women are actually better at processing emotions than men according to this research at least - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19761782
Whilst I find this wonderfully interesting I imagine that the fantasy of lesbian sex in straight is partly due to several factors. There is somewhat still taboo around lesbian encounters which can add to excitement. It's also been said in this debate that "women know what women want" and are often seen as more sensual and erotic lovers. There is also more than just straight, gay and bi in the world, as has been said previously in this conversation, and, if you imagine a spectrum for people who feel sexual attraction to males and females on a 0 (gay) to 100 (straight) continum you very rarely get 0s and 100s and women with these fantisies may fall at 95 for example and not feel they really identify with a label like bicurious but still have sexual feelings regarding the same sex.
Big messy topic really with no definitive answer. Really so long as everyone is safe, sane and consensual then do as you please is where I stand.
P.S Pansexual, some experience with women but not one for lesbian porn so can't weigh in much from personal experience.
Like you say...a big messy topic but i stand next to you on what you say.
This is very interesting