I’ve been looking into strapless strap-ons and I’m really tempted to try one with my fiancée, either her using it on me or me using it on her. Something fun that we can both enjoy and get something out of.
We’re pretty open with each other, but I still want to bring it up in the right way. I don’t want to make it awkward or make her feel uncomfortable. Any tips on how to introduce the idea in a way that’s sexy and relaxed?
Also, if you’ve used one before, what are they actually like during play? Do they stay in place well or can they be a bit fiddly? Would you recommend going for a vibrating one straight away or keeping it simple at first?
Any advice on positions that work best or things to avoid would be massively appreciated. Just want it to be a good experience for both of us.
Unless the giver has very strong kegel muscles they are difficult to keep in place.
We eventually found a workaround by using the strapless strap-on inside a pair of harness briefs. The briefs held it firmly in place inside my wife.
Ultimately though she found the sensation of the bulbous part moving inside her distracting so we’ve gone back to conventional dildos with a harness or harness briefs
Thank you for this information @rockstar that’s really helpful to know! I was just wondering though, if I wanted to try this with my fiancée and maybe explore some double penetration (me using the bulb inside me and going vaginal/anal with her), would I also struggle to keep it in place as a guy? Curious how that would work practically.
You would also need reasonably strong pelvic floor muscles and sphincter muscles to keep it in. However, the real problem is finding one long enough and at the right angle to work. They are designed to be worn vaginally, which is much further forward than the anus, so you’ll lose a lot of length getting it past your body and into a place you can actually penetrate her with it. And then you need to think of where your balls will sit.
If you want to do double penetration, you would probably be better off using one of the cock ring style ones on this link
Thanks for the info @Calie that actually makes a lot of sense! I just thought it would be great because we could both use it on each other, kind of a win-win. I also thought it’d be exciting to be able to double penetrate her while having it inside me at the same time and being the one in control. But yeah, thinking about the angles and muscles now, I get it.
I think the one you linked (the cock ring-style one) makes more sense to use. I could always just use that with a plug in myself too and still get the experience I was after.
Haha @AJSTAR I’m sure she’d love bending me over just as much as I’d enjoy doing the same to her
Might just have to leave it hanging and see who grabs it first…
Thank you @rockstar
I’m sure I’d find a use for it I may as well give it a go and see how it feels!
My fiancée could always take the lead and use it on me too…
If I try it I guess I’ll just have to keep myself as tight as possible and hope for the best
If not, plug or prostate massager it is
Is pegging part of your regular play already? If so, toys are already part of your conversation and you say, “Would you be interested in trying a strapless strap-on?” or invite your fiancee to shop for new toys with you and as you “stumble upon” a strapless you say, “what do you think about that?” I’ve also told my wife I was going to shop the Lovehoney sale in advance and then sent her a screenshot of the cart to say, “hey, what looks good to you here?”
Quite challenging, in a couple ways. One is that the dildo end was harder for me to take than expected, even though I didn’t think the dimensions were that much larger. It was. So that just made it tough. Then the bulb end didn’t stay in well - and even when it was in it was not doing anything for her pleasure-wise, just not the right size or anything. So trouble getting it into me, trouble getting it to stay in her, not really able to get any thrusting going. However - in the years since adding it to the toybox it is now a manageable size for me and the bulb makes a great handle for manuallying thrusting, whether I’m doing it to myself or if she’s using it. Often use it that way as a warm up for while she’s getting prepped to peg me with another dildo.
See above.
I mean, I probably wouldn’t actually recommend one for pegging use at all.
While it can work for some, there are other things that make everything go much smoother and more fun. For pegging our go-to is a pair of harness briefs for her. It’s easier, more comfortable, and feels sexier for wifey than dealing with straps and rings that never stay in places. She can also put a dildo in vaginally and hold it in place and room for her to slip any preferred vibrator down on her clit without disrupting her motion.
For DP, I also wouldn’t recommend a strapless strap-on: I just don’t think there are any out there that will play the angles the way you’re thinking. We do have one the cockring-style DP dildo rings and it worked okay for me vaginally and the dildo anally but she actually ended up wishing it was bigger - right now LH does not cover anything that does THAT specifically in a length/girth that’s comparable to the real thing for us, and so definitely wouldn’t do the trick for use in anal (me in her bum, cockring-dildo in her vagina - would do nothing for her). For DP I’m always in her ass and always a dildo vaginally. It’s almost exclusively in hard press/prone position so I reach around under my bum to move the dildo for her. I like using a longer one so there’s more to hold onto and still give her the fullness she wants. If I wanted something in my bum during that play I’d just go with a plug or prostate massager and enjoy the ride.
Final note is just personal preference - I know that technically all our silicone, glass, and metal toys can be fully sanitized but we keep our anal and vaginal toys separate just to avoid any mix-ups.
Wow, thanks so much @LRLRL for such a detailed reply, I really appreciate you taking the time to write all that! Loads of great info and definitely a few things I wouldn’t have thought about otherwise.
Sounds like strapless ones can be a bit hit and miss depending on the situation. I love the idea of the bulb acting like a handle I hadn’t even thought about using it like that! I can see how that would help if it’s not quite working how you want it to during play. Might be something we try as a warm up like you mentioned.
Also thanks again I appreciate the honesty around pegging and DP. It sounds like the harness briefs route might just be easier and less fiddly, especially with keeping things in place. We’ve been curious about mixing things up a bit more so this has definitely helped figure out what’s worth trying first.
Yeah, I definitely get what you mean about keeping anal and vaginal toys separate to make it all cleaner. I don’t want to cause any bacteria issues. Better safe than sorry! Thanks again for sharing all that. We both really appreciate it. I’m definitely feeling more clued up now and excited to experiment a bit more with my fiancée.
