Sub/Dom Tasks and Punishments.

I have a question. Not a question, More wanting - idea's and stories and suggestions.

With a Dom/sub Partnership, where visits are infrequent, I know that some set tasks or "Instructions", I was after Ideas/Suggestions/Experiences.

*props head up on hand and genteely sips a glass of wine*

Ready?

GO!

Assuming you're the Domme?

Some of my favourite tasks to set are;

* Orgasm denial. They must masturbate to the point of orgasm X, Y, Z times for you and then stop completely and go on to do something else - most likely vanilla. Vary the amounts and increase the intensity by having him do it on cam. You can make things harder for him by being on cam yourself ....

* Workplace fun - sending them to work wearing nail varnish on toes or with panties on (sissy) and have him text you a picture from the toilets to prove it.

* For some extra sissy play have him browse the internet and choose an outfit. He doesn't have to buy it but he must present it in word format via email with pictures and justification as to why he picked the items. You can make it easier or harder by specifying a theme (for an evening event or for day time wear) and give him a budget.

* Have him find an image online that depicts submission. It can be artsy or pure pornagraphic. But he must put extreme thought into it

* Have him write a journal for you to read

* Chastity

The list is endless. For each task that is set and acheived, you should reward him with a sexy photo of yourself or promise of something for when you do see him. Orrrr, he may just be happy with praise. Depends on your set-up.

Punishments can be anything from a 'no masturbating' rule to restricted access and commication. Also, corner time and line writing. *I must obey my mistress* X 50. Hand written. Sent in the post to you.

Haha no no in my personal situation I'm the sub *smirks* However I also write a lot of erotica and was casting for ideas and suggestinos, thank you for the suggestions :D

MsEllie wrote:

I also write a lot of erotica

Just realised how bad that sounds.

*wanders off into her pervycorner*

In that case, I'm not sure what you could do other than pass this onto your Dom. Otherwise, you're topping from the bottom and in most circumstances it's a very undesireable trait.

As a sub, I'd say you could offer more of yourself up for submission to him.

Let him choose the clothes you wear, give him control of ALL your sexual pleasures, offer chastity ...

No no it's not my intention to top from the bottom, this was more for my erotica.

*i'll go sit in a corner and be good*

Ahhhh, now it makes sense! Sorry, I didn't realise it was for erotica..

Nps. I know I wasn't very clear. we're just starting out as sub and dom, so early days, and I was interested for my writing to explore it more but my brain wandered off and came back with not much.

I just write in my spare time and put bits up here and there.

Erotica or not Great Ideas Ms HKM!! The OH and I are trying to dip our toe in the Domme experience. He wants me to be Domme, which I find quite hard as I am naturally quite sub (and have no issues being so).

We've experimented with Edging and also a lot of commands/do this etc.

Its a lot harder than it seems.

Can you explain the journal more?

Hi Occhiverdi :) Glad you like the tasks. Regarding the journal, it can either be vanilla or kinky.

The idea is that the submissive is being conditioned by having to write for you as part of their day. Every night before bed or maybe just once a week.

Personally, I use the journal alongside other tasks. For instance - you have him wear some panties whilst at work. He does as he is told. Whilst he is at work he may be feeling frustrated, horny, humiliated. He might text to tell you but by writing a reflective journal entry after the event, it can be tantilising for the both of you. He may understand his submissive journey and desires a lot more by engaging his brain to evaluate them. Well written journals should be praised and encouraged. The key is in the detail. And don't be surprised if there are things written that you weren't expecting.

He might not be into it but it can't hurt to try.

Just as a side note - this can work well with edging/denial/chastity. Especially if you're doing it for prolongued periods of time. Some men find the journal to be a place then can release their frustrations about the tasks.

Oh and if your submissive likes being humiliated - read aloud the journal back to him. Very effective.

HMK you are taking me to places I am starting to find uncomfortable lol

Ms HKM wrote:

In that case, I'm not sure what you could do other than pass this onto your Dom. Otherwise, you're topping from the bottom and in most circumstances it's a very undesireable trait.

As a sub, I'd say you could offer more of yourself up for submission to him.

Let him choose the clothes you wear, give him control of ALL your sexual pleasures, offer chastity ...

I couldnt agree more. Very undesireable. Dont you just find it very manipulative when a babycock sub tries to be topping from the bottom??

A good little task I sometimes make my sub do to create obedience before we play is make her stand facing a wall and make her hold a coin against the wall with her nose. You can then vary the time in which they have to stand there, but I find it always gets good results as they have to be determined in their submission to make sure the coin doesn't drop. To add to the game, I would suggest using a crop or paddle on them whilst they're standing there to make the task a whole lot harder.

Question for Domme and sub.

Do you think it is right for a sub to choose or dictate his tasks, punishments or rewards to his Domme? Isnt that like topping from the bottom? Or for the sub to break the basic rules of the relationship when he doesnt get what he wants, i.e sex? Doesnt that defeat the whole purpose of him being the sub, and worse, breaking the trust of his Domme??

Please specify which one you are when you answer.

Ready?

Go!

Quite like this. I've already personally (via naughty messages) make a man peak and stop it had great results

I am new to Domme (and having serious fun so far) my man is very familiar with his kinks, but has been doing it on his own for 4 years, I'm the first person he's shared his desire to be dominated with. Makes him a little too stubborn to sub sometimes..

I'm loving my Domme experience, but having to work fast on my feet - I find that when he tries to 'educate' me (with the best of intention) on his desires, it's a massive turn off. He can have what he wants I've just gotta have it on my terms.

Would love some good tips on punishments that he won't love doing, sometimes he's a very naughty boy on purpose! Also effective rewarding rather than punishment -I'd like to keep it to reward based training if I can, that worked best on my pup

I'm liking the idea of the journal, I think that'll give me insight.

He loves lingerie, dress up so he doesn't feel humiliation - I'm working on depriving things but he's home all day whilst I'm at work so it's tricky to enforce.

He's also naturally very domesticated, so I don't think chores will do the trick either...unless theres an added dimension maybe.

He's also a persistent little b*gger, and gets over excited when he finds something new to try...asking permission for new sexual experiences is in the rules, but he gets so excited he can't help himself.

Need some creative ideas...

Crikey you are well down the road with this arn't you ?

I have a couple of books that I bought my Mrs and see what they say. Most things I saw were based on normal household chores that nobody likes . I'll probably post very late to night as I have my Mistress( wishful thinking) I mean mrs to attend to .

These are examples obtained from my books. I havn't included what I consider to be draconian mediaeval tortures .I havn't included spanking as a punishment as he enjoys that and wouldn't really be a deterrent .But included it in the reward section!

Punishments

Made to stand in a corner

Applying nipple clamps ( quite painful on a guy I think)

Applying clothes pegs to tongue and other parts of the body.

Doing domestic chores possibly naked for added humiliation

Writing lines eg "I must be nice to my Mistress name "

Denial of sex

Denial of favourite T V programmes.

Used as a footrest for mistress

Forced to masturbate

Made to wear lipstick

Cold shower

Specified number of pushups

Scolding

REWARDS

Being complimented by the mistress

Given an orgasm

Kissing and cuddling

Spanking as a symbol of ownership

Favourite sex toy/Fetishism

A note telling him how happy up are with him

Dinner with mistress

NIght out with mistress (he still pays though!)

Interaction with Mistress

I hope this helps

It depends on how extreme you want to go.

As a lifestyle and professional Domme I personally live by the following motto:

All punishments are rewards - as they take my valueable time to come up with.

Ignoring is the worst punishment, particularly if it's in public.