Hey, newbie here and a bit nervous about posting and being so honest, but here goes.
I'm a married mid 40's female who is overweight and completely lost my sex drive years ago.
My poor husband gave up trying to initiate sex and we've just both accepted it and there has been no bedrom action for years.
Thing is, I've suddenly got very horny !
It started with an AS page where I saw some kinky sex toys (never used them myself before - unbelievable I know right !!) and that got me curious. I found some nice lingerie on the site but nothing in my size so I started searching for some plus size lingerie and thats when I found LH !
And OH WOW. I started perusing this forum and this site, along with some erotic stories and I realised that actually I was probably quite self conscious about my body which didn't help me with my emotional issues around sex. BUT reading the stories, made me feel horny and wanting sex again ! So I ordered a couple of sexy crotchless teddys and panties and tops etc. My thoughts that I could keep them on during sex, but they would still be sexy enough to reveal my bits that hubby used to like whilst hiding the bits I have come to hate and make me self conscious ! No toys yet, but that may come ;-)
When I knew they had been delivered I was so excited and I rushed home to try them on and they are just perfect. They will hide everything I want them to hide, make my plus size figure look sexy (if thats even possible!)
I need to wait until the weekend and then I am going to surprise my husband. I also thought about the following weekend (as the kids will be away) booking a nice hotel room and having a romantic night just the two of us and then retiring to our room for some naughty sex !
The question is (sorry finally getting to the point) ! Is this too much ? Will my husband be shocked? surprised? horrified? will he think I'm suddenly having an affair to have turned this corner? (i'm not and haven't) or will he be pleased I'm feeling it again?
I know I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it, but wondered if anybody else had any experience of this to try and put my mind at rest.
I think your story reads very honestly and sincerely. I was thinking you should just repeat it to your hubby over dinner, but then I thought, why not tell him you found an interesting story on line, pass him your phone, and let him read it. I think in his position, I'd be much more open to the ideas in your story reading it, as an observer, rather than trying to listen to an explanation as an involved party. He won't believe his luck when the penny drops.
I think it's fantastic you've found a new lease for lust. 🙂
A surprise does sound fun, but have you considered keeping it simple? I'm sure he'd be equally surprised if you just opened up to him about it one night after the kids have gone to bed. Something as simple as, 'Gerald, I've started to feel really horny lately. I don't know why, but I do want to know how you feel about this'. Including him in the conversation at this early stage would take a lot of the pressure and expectation away from the both of you, and good communication can really help shape your experiences in such a positive way.
However you choose to let your husband know I hope it goes really well for you both. 🙂
I agree, Ian's advice is really sound. And once you've had the conversation, you can introduce him to the sext lingerie. Maybe you could wear a teddy under your ordinary clothes when you broach the subject, so it's not even visible.
I know wearing a basque and stockings under my dress when I visited my rekindled flame (we were together 15 years ago) really made me feel sexy and confident. I'd lost all libido and all my body confidence after being very ill, for several years, and i suddenly got horny again. Maybe I'm starting to get better! That would be great!
Wishing you the very best outcome. I encourage you to talk first, as Ian suggested, wear your new sexy clothes underneath - and a very happy return to sex!
Oh and - I just started playing with toys !!! Oh my !!!! It's a whole new world opening up to me
This is my first time to reply to something but, I can relate to this! After two very difficult pregnancies, 2 c-sections & a big weight gain I felt so down about everything. My husband, who has always been extremely supportive and encouraging would often touch my bottom as he walked past or kiss my neck (which I used to love) but I would push him away every time. This went on for 5 years! Until one night last september when we were watching a film, I just started talking about how I was feeling & my husband told me how he had been feeling. We talked for hours & then went to bed for a cwtch (cuddle) one thing led to another & that night we rekindled our burnt out flame & haven't stopped since! Just by getting our feelings out there it changed everything & has just got better ever since. The old saying is right "communication is the key"
I think people have offered some very sound advice ! Although the devil only shoulder would say just go for it ! Get sexed up feel good and shock the hell out of him ! Just to see his face at the site of you looking so sexy and confident would be amazing wouldn't it ? I'm so pleased you have started to feel good about yourself it must feel so amazing to have overcome past insecurities! Embrace it, enjoy it and flaunt it ! JoJo X
Thanks to everyone for your responses, you will be pleased to know the underwear arrived, I tried it on, it felt fab and I looked great (in my eyes) and soooo horny as it made me feel sexy again. That night hubby and I got it on, it was fab, he was pleased (understatement) we spoke about how I was feeling, we made another order of some more lingerie (he picked this time) and some toys ! As they say, a happy ending 😊
Thanks to everyone for your responses, you will be pleased to know the underwear arrived, I tried it on, it felt fab and I looked great (in my eyes) and soooo horny as it made me feel sexy again. That night hubby and I got it on, it was fab, he was pleased (understatement) we spoke about how I was feeling, we made another order of some more lingerie (he picked this time) and some toys ! As they say, a happy ending 😊
Congratulations. I'm really pleased it went well. 🙂