If you have a sugar daddy what do you personally get out of it?
Sugar daddy’s pay for everything. They buy you nice stuff, take you on dates etc.
I live in Sweden, and those who call themselves ''sugar daddies'' here are basically looking for a dirt-cheap prostitute to meet with on the regular - this isn't sugar dating, and it's not worth my time. It can also be illegal.
Instead, I have slaves and moneyslaves - although neither is exactly the same as sugaring. I make it clear from the start that sex is out of the question and they serve me - not the other way around.
My slaves are submissive men who serve me by doing household chores, driving me around, massaging and pampering me, taking me to nice restaurants and bars, and giving me gifts (usually off my wishlists). The moneyslaves are into findom and offer gifts and cash. Some just love making me happy and occasionally getting photos of me in my new clothes/ lingerie/ shoes, while others are more into being humiliated. What I get out of it is a clean and tidy appartment, some nice meals and drinks, gifts (things or money) and, most importantly, having power over men who do whatever I tell them to. Of course we have discussed in depth before agreeing on entering either of these arrangements and everyone's limits are being respected.
Be it the way I do it or in an actual sugar relationship, communication, respect and chemistry are of outmost importance. That goes for both parties involved. You don't just give a in exchange for b.
@ Smultron - I'm intrigued as to what the men get out of it, if it isn't sex? Why would they do all those things for you? No criticism intended or answers expected at all - I'm just curious as it is very different to anything I have experienced.
I think in the UK 'sugar daddy' traditionally means an older (married?) man who buys a much younger woman treats she wouldn't otherwise be able to afford, in return for sex - or at least being seen out together to impress colleagues etc.
I might be wrong - but that is the popular image.
I'm not sure how it differs from prostitution, one way or another, but it would seem to me to have a lot fewer safeguards and agreements built in to the arrangement, so I'd be very careful.
Hi so I was under the impression my hubby was my sugar daddy, as he is quite a bit older than me. He use to earn more than me but not now as he has retired. He is 17 years older than me, but my much loved other half.
I pay certain bills, and I pay for the holidays, he pays some bills and the spending money, but that’s because I can budget money and he can’t. I’m by no means a kept woman. I’m guessing the term has different meanings in different places.
I just wondered if anyone on here had one what have they been given?
I have no firsthand knowledge of this, but coincidentally I recently read a thread on a 90% male forum about this. The posters were mostly American.
Lots of guys there said that they used to pay hundreds of dollars for escorts/prostitutes, but now they've gone down the sugar daddy route. They said it was mostly university girls they encountered. Occassionally it was "$300 for a date and one night stand", but most of the time it was more like "direct debit of a few hundred per month".
The guys who were discussing this said they made very clear and open arrangements about what would be expected. i.e. how many times a month they would meet, whether he would pay any additional expenses/gifts, whether they would regularly sext between meetings, etc.
At first, it certainly sounded very similar to regular prostitution. But the guys were saying that these girls are often very picky about choosing their sugar daddy. And I guess in some cases (probabably a minority?) the girls are actually looking for some emotional/romantic fulfillment in this arrangement as well as cash?
Another key takeaway was that many of the men found it ultimately worked out cheaper, more fun, and more fulfilling than just visiting regular escorts/prostitutes.
I'd never heard of these kinds of formal sugar daddy arrangements, and it was an eye-opener to hear how common it seemed to be (in America at least). I guess I would say "live and let live" as long as both parties are comfortable.
defam wrote:
I have no firsthand knowledge of this, but coincidentally I recently read a thread on a 90% male forum about this. The posters were mostly American.
Lots of guys there said that they used to pay hundreds of dollars for escorts/prostitutes, but now they've gone down the sugar daddy route. They said it was mostly university girls they encountered. Occassionally it was "$300 for a date and one night stand", but most of the time it was more like "direct debit of a few hundred per month".
The guys who were discussing this said they made very clear and open arrangements about what would be expected. i.e. how many times a month they would meet, whether he would pay any additional expenses/gifts, whether they would regularly sext between meetings, etc.
At first, it certainly sounded very similar to regular prostitution. But the guys were saying that these girls are often very picky about choosing their sugar daddy. And I guess in some cases (probabably a minority?) the girls are actually looking for some emotional/romantic fulfillment in this arrangement as well as cash?
Another key takeaway was that many of the men found it ultimately worked out cheaper, more fun, and more fulfilling than just visiting regular escorts/prostitutes.
I'd never heard of these kinds of formal sugar daddy arrangements, and it was an eye-opener to hear how common it seemed to be (in America at least). I guess I would say "live and let live" as long as both parties are comfortable.
Very interesting! Just to make sure I did the math right, having a sugar baby is more money-efficient (at least in the long run) compared to paying for an escort or prostitute?
MsR wrote:
@ Smultron - I'm intrigued as to what the men get out of it, if it isn't sex? Why would they do all those things for you? No criticism intended or answers expected at all - I'm just curious as it is very different to anything I have experienced.
Although we don't have sex, there are often some sexual elements involved. For example foot worship, penis cage, plug (while doing chores), women's lingerie (on men), and of course I make sure I look super sexy. It's not exactly like that irl, but here's a funny commercial with a woman and her household slaves: 
Other than that, it mostly has to do with power exchange and it depends on each person's kinks. The same way some people enjoy bondage, watersports or roleplaying, there's people who enjoy serving, following orders, being punished, humiliated etc. Financial domination is just another kink, where the ''giver'' loves not being in control or wants to be taken advantage of, and the ''receiver'' has power over them.
In all cases, we talk about what we like and want to get out of this contact, and set boundaries right from the start. Communication is very important both during and after ''play'', and I make sure we have time left for aftercare. They're just like any other kink, basically. As long as it's safe, sane and consensual, it can be lots of fun for everyone involved!
Ok, apparently I can't post a youtube link. Search for ''Funny Vodka Commercial BDSM'' =)
Smultron wrote:
Very interesting! Just to make sure I did the math right, having a sugar baby is more money-efficient (at least in the long run) compared to paying for an escort or prostitute?
Yes, that's what these blokes were all suggesting. Of course, this would only be the case if you were visiting prostitutes regularly (i.e. every month).
Let's say they had been spending $600 total per month for two escort bookings ($300 a time). But they found a sugar baby for a fee of $400/500 per month, and they meet her at least twice a month. So they would be saving at least $100/month for a more fulfilling service.
I did also get the impression that hirng an escort/prostitute is perhaps more expensive and more risky in many American states than it is in most of Europe.
defam wrote:
Yes, that's what these blokes were all suggesting. Of course, this would only be the case if you were visiting prostitutes regularly (i.e. every month).
Let's say they had been spending $600 total per month for two escort bookings ($300 a time). But they found a sugar baby for a fee of $400/500 per month, and they meet her at least twice a month. So they would be saving at least $100/month for a more fulfilling service.
True, but I guess it depends on the arrangement. If they go to expensive bars or restaurants every time they meet, or if there are other expenses besides the monthly allowance (gifts, manicures, spa etc) then it can cost just as much or even more than hiring an escort. I assume it all comes down to what they have agreed on.
I knew a girl at uni who had one. He was almost exactly 40 years older than her (late 50s).
She was quite open about it, as she had loads more money than anyone else did.
He paid for everything, fees, accomodation, food, drink, clothes, the works.
In return, she met him twice a week. One time was a 3 hour sex session, one was an overnight that included a restaurant, gig or show, 2 3 hour sex sessions, a bit of sleep and breakfast.
What happened in the sex session was entirely up to him. There was some combination of anal, oral (both ways), vaginal and always a spanking/paddling. (She quite often could hardly sit down when she came back).
He also had to approve of her clothing choices (only to ensure her clothes weren't frumpy) and he told her what underwear to wear (or not) every day.
Overall, she was very happy with the arrangement, and last I heard, after she left uni, she got a job in the same town so that she could carry on the arrangement.
My friend has a sugar daddy and he takes her out for meals, buys her clothes and expensive jewellery, takes her on holiday/weekends away and gives her money monthly
I love the idea of a sugar daddy. Not just for being given stuff but for the feeling of it being dirty sex. Just because money not being exchanged for sex doesn't mean not being paid for it.
How do you go about meeting a sugar daddy? Can hardly go up and ask random men if they are up for the job.
Very interested. If both sides get something out of it then can't see the harm. Just don't know how you would go about it.
I guess would have to go on a specialist site to find someone. Never know we might meet on there.
Sorry to keep repeating second-hand info: but when I read a discussion about this, most men were saying that sites which charge a monthly subsciption were the only reliable way of meeting someone.
I'm sure free websites must be 90% timewasters and scammers. Although FetLife might be a place you could try for this?
Never heard of fetlife. Will have a look. Thanks.
Still searching for one lol