Ok, so me and my partner have been together for 4 years now, and are very much in love and in for the long term.
Problem is we are both very sexually driven people. She is very much into being submissive, and although I don't dig it as much as her I give it a good go :D After about a year or so of seeing each other we had a drunken threesome with one of my mates. Looking back it was a pretty stupid thing to do, and I must say that at the time I didn't react very well afterwards.
Problem is that now I find the whole idea of adding more people into the equation very sexy indeed. The problem last time was that it was someone we knew. I would be very up to another threesome, dogging or swinging but have no idea how to broach the subject after my bad reactions last time. Anyone have any suggestions for me to make it happen? or at least breach a discussion on the possibility of looking into it?
''So honey, you know when we had that three some and I kinda lost my shit? Well I've thought about it more and I'd quite like to do it again, if you would too''.
Aaaaand discuss.
Seriously. Just talk about it.
Maybe she'll giggle at you for how much your opinions changed, maybe she won't be up for it, maybe she will.
Just....talk. Communication is key, and you should be able to bring up these ''odd'' questions in a relationship without much issue if it's something you're both remotely into.
fairehlights wrote:
''So honey, you know when we had that three some and I kinda lost my shit? Well I've thought about it more and I'd quite like to do it again, if you would too''.
Aaaaand discuss.
Seriously. Just talk about it.
Maybe she'll giggle at you for how much your opinions changed, maybe she won't be up for it, maybe she will.
Just....talk. Communication is key, and you should be able to bring up these ''odd'' questions in a relationship without much issue if it's something you're both remotely into.
+1 just say it, what's the worst that can happen? "Do you fancy going dogging?" "No." "Ok"
i'm just worried of breaching the subject outright because of my reaction to the first time. Plus it wasn't massively something we discussed before the first one, it just sort of happened.
Maybe it needs to be discussed anyway because of your first reaction, if it caused friction between you it may make her feel good knowing you're over it and would actually want to do it again, rather than her forever feeling guilty, no matter how long ago it was
Yeah that seems a good suggestion. I was turned on by the whole thing, I just didn't react well over the few days afterwards. I think it was because it was my mate though, and because I felt that he shouldn't have been willing in the first place. If it was a randomer that would wipe away the awkwardness of that.
We'd love the idea of a threesome but it's that that's holding us back, we both know we wouldn't be able to cope afterwards, even if it was a stranger, I'd be constantly paranoid that they'd kept in touch and he'd be the same.
diffinately discuss it with her, you may find she doesn't want to risk it again in which case there's not really a lot you can do in terms of convincing her. Maybe go to a strip club together and see how you enjoy seeing eachother with someone naked, would you be wanting mmf again? I'd recomend finding a specific person, there's sites specially for that, rather than going swinging, personally I'd feel safer and you can get someone you find attractive and that's willing to do what you want
I agree whole heartedly with hunting someone out rather than bumping into a random, as it just seems all round safer. I think it is just a case of sitting down and discussing it, but I am a bit nervous about doing that ha.
The more you fret about it the more nervous you'll get. I'm very much into just saying it and if OH says no then ok
haha thanks for your help!