My oh has said if a 3some or hotwife scenario was to happen she would want it somewhere, where we can leave at any point easily.
I am thinking a swinger's club is ideal to have a drink at a bar and see what happens. However I don't no how to convince her they are not seedy tacky places. If that is the case? She can be shy and wouldn't like that feeling.
Look for groups online that have information and reviews on clubs and try and find something that sounds like it will be in a nice location.
Maybe it would help if you discussed putting a total ban on "activities" the first time you went, so that she has no concerns and if it feels right, or doesn't, all you are doing is having a drink in a slightly different setting.
When you go home you can then discuss whether those concerns are still there.
Most clubs have websites. Depends where you are based. The North West has loads of clubs, there's a couple in West Midlands, Yorkshire, Bedfordshire and London area.
Browse websites together, see what she thinks. I think a club with a night club feel would be most suited, rather than a dress down club.
It would be in West Yorkshire area. We have spoke about this now. She has said she doesn't want to play or get naked yet. But going for a drink at a club is highly likely.
I have been told I have to present one to her and show pictures of it. she said no play and she doesn't want to be naked or me to leave her side. Also that at the moment no play is the only answer I'll probably get, but it's not to say the answer won't ever change. She also said she would like to watch porn related to the idea, which is a first for her.
I happy we are likely to visit for a drink now. Hopefully not getting naked is fine at these places! Hopefully this is a good sign things may turn into a let's try have a play. It's all at her pace either way.
We brought this up again this morning and she is still willing to go and have a drink in one if I can find one and show her pics and details. Hopefully a good sign??curiousme wrote:
It would be in West Yorkshire area. We have spoke about this now. She has said she doesn't want to play or get naked yet. But going for a drink at a club is highly likely.
I have been told I have to present one to her and show pictures of it. she said no play and she doesn't want to be naked or me to leave her side. Also that at the moment no play is the only answer I'll probably get, but it's not to say the answer won't ever change. She also said she would like to watch porn related to the idea, which is a first for her.
I happy we are likely to visit for a drink now. Hopefully not getting naked is fine at these places! Hopefully this is a good sign things may turn into a let's try have a play. It's all at her pace either way.
Have you tried looking on Fabswingers site as suggested. It's split by area, has links to the clubs websites and lots of reviews.
If you're looking at West Yorkshire there are two in and around Leeds. Quest has been around a while but has recently had a major face-lift I believe. There's also a newer one in Armley called Pandora which on the pictures looks to have a much nicer bar area than most so may suit you for an initial foray!
Even though we live in West Yorkshire we've always done the Manchester area ones so have no personal experience of either Leeds one.
I’d love to get the OH into this scene but alas I’d have more chance of picking the winning lottery numbers this weekend
Swinger clubs are not seedy, tacky places in our experience, unless of course you consider casual sex with strangers seedy and tacky! They are welcoming and liberating, once inside you can forget all your previous religious and societal conditioning about monaogamy and have recreational sex with who you want.
But we have always found people to be respectful and not pushy. Nobody wil force you to do anything you don't want and "No" always means "No".
You don't have to participate, swap or do anything unless yiou want. You can just watch others. We took it easy and had a few club visits before our first 'full swap.
Have a look at a few club websites, you will see they are usually well-equipped and nice places to visit.
Sounds perfect, a nice clean environment would make my oh feel much more relaxed. It's very exciting taking the first step but also very nervy. It's a case of building confidence I thinkPeakcouple wrote:
Swinger clubs are not seedy, tacky places in our experience, unless of course you consider casual sex with strangers seedy and tacky! They are welcoming and liberating, once inside you can forget all your previous religious and societal conditioning about monaogamy and have recreational sex with who you want.
But we have always found people to be respectful and not pushy. Nobody wil force you to do anything you don't want and "No" always means "No".
You don't have to participate, swap or do anything unless yiou want. You can just watch others. We took it easy and had a few club visits before our first 'full swap.
Have a look at a few club websites, you will see they are usually well-equipped and nice places to visit.
Totally agree with this. I've been swinging for many years. A previous partner fully swung so I enjoyed that a lot. My current OH has no problem going to the clubs as they've always been very friendly but she has never had sex with anyone else there or ever felt under pressure to do so. She likes to watch and be watched whilst we play ourselves. I obviously hope one day she may fully swing but till then am happy the way things are!Peakcouple wrote:
Swinger clubs are not seedy, tacky places in our experience, unless of course you consider casual sex with strangers seedy and tacky! They are welcoming and liberating, once inside you can forget all your previous religious and societal conditioning about monaogamy and have recreational sex with who you want.
But we have always found people to be respectful and not pushy. Nobody wil force you to do anything you don't want and "No" always means "No".
You don't have to participate, swap or do anything unless yiou want. You can just watch others. We took it easy and had a few club visits before our first 'full swap.
Have a look at a few club websites, you will see they are usually well-equipped and nice places to visit.
Me and my wife spoke more and more about this, she has also looked at one we'd go to.
However she has a few concerns, which are the type of people that might be in these places especially because of the location of the place.
She is worried she would be constantly watches and judged.
Also that the place may not be clean and feel tacky inside.
We would have a rule of no play if we went just a few drinks.
I am a seasoned swinger and been to most clubs in the UK. By far the best one are as follows and are not seedy or tacky in any way. You are never under any pressure to play and I would suggest on your initial visit you go and play by yourselves. Then see how you feel. It is just like going to a party, lots of socialising just with the added benefits of sex if you want it. I play with both men and women and love the environment.
The best clubs are:- The Vanilla Alternative, Libery Elite abd Le Boudoir in central london.
xx
emanem wrote:
I am a seasoned swinger and been to most clubs in the UK. By far the best one are as follows and are not seedy or tacky in any way. You are never under any pressure to play and I would suggest on your initial visit you go and play by yourselves. Then see how you feel. It is just like going to a party, lots of socialising just with the added benefits of sex if you want it. I play with both men and women and love the environment.
The best clubs are:- The Vanilla Alternative, Libery Elite abd Le Boudoir in central london.
xx
Agree with the first paragraph!
It really depends where you live, our favourites are La Chambre in Sheffield and Chameleons at Darlaston, near Birmingham. The last is our all-time favourite, no disco and bring your own alcohol, but the facilities are fab. Two big jacuzzis, public playrooms, orgy room, sex-swing room, dungeon, lockable private playrooms, steam room, sauna... etc. Singles nights, couples night, bisexual night, nude night and a few bedrooms for those who want to stay over. Food available too. Love it!