I have one friend who is VERY open, like, maybe borderline TMI open about their sexual endeavors, proclivities, etc. Part of me admires that, and part of me wonders if it crosses a line. They are someone that I would be comfortable talking to, as I don’t think there would be any judgement, and perhaps that’s the central thing that keeps people talking more openly about sex. No one likes to be rejected, and sex is such a broad spectrum of things.
It would be neat if we could talk about sex in the same way as food, like, I really enjoy XYZ, not a fan of this, oh have you tried ___ because it’s amazing?
I’m mid thirties now and not in relation to this topic particularly but i find I’m a much more private person than I was ten years ago, I’m often cringing at inane Facebook memories that often come up.
Right there with you on that one. I simultaneously feel more at ease and open-minded about things, but also less inclined to put it all out there. I was definitely more feisty in my 20’s, and I really appreciate getting more mellow as I age.
Ive got one amazing friend who I can be really open with and shes the same with me.
Really helped me recently with some medication related drive loss in particular.
Just remembered before I retired I had a female friend at work that I ( we ) flirted with all the time with each other . She wore a perfume that mixed with her body chemistry absolutely drove me wild . And she liked something about me . Often she would come up to me for some chatting and our shop was noisy so we would have to get pretty close where I could breath in her perfume . Many a time I suggested we could get fired and be legends in the shop if we stripped and made love right there . We some times discussed our favorite things to do or have done to us . I really miss those talks .
I have two really close friends who i can be my complete self with and talk to about everything but we’ve never really talked about sex. From my point this is mainly cause my OH is really private and hates being the centre of attention… well not the centre of my attention lol. I have had issues with sex due to a procedure to have some cancerous cells removed so they are aware of the ‘issues’ i’ve had, but since coming off the depo injection (contraception) i have noticed my sex drive increase and I mentioned it to my friend Friday and it felt normal but don’t think I would go into anymore details about the kinks lol
I do love that we are in an age where we have the internet to be able to talk more openly about everything and anything with like minded people and not be/get ‘judged’.
@KinkyK I am with you. I think the downfall of this forum may be the fact that some, like me, go it alone. Mrs. Val knows nothing about my presence on here, nor would she be impressed, I don’t think.
She is very secretive on some things. I have seen her tiktoc and Instagram feeds and they aren’t all Puppies and Makeup…if you know what I mean. That tells me that she is always looking for something and I am sure that Social Media makes sure that it sprinkles a bunch of sex over your feeds whether you like them or not. I secretly thinks she likes them… lol, even though she is a bit of a prude.
She is warming up to the idea of alternative sex in the bedroom (toys from LH, some anal play, oral, me cumming on her chest, etc.) as that never existed 15 years ago. I have been fairly patient and reading the situation before I suggest or give something out of her “ordinary”.
The problem stems from being here alone, reading things and adding to things, getting ideas and then trying to execute the “plan” when she has no interest in these things. The talking about sex with Mrs. Val has only started when Covid began and actually came to a point where we were cold to each other and were abstinent for over a month. (The make-up sex was great btw…) I guess I am saying that I really have to suppress my feelings after a day of reading blogs and your posts as sometimes I am extremely horny when I leave work. She currently has two kids at home with the flu so I am guessing tonight will be another night of no sex.
So I have to be careful that I don’t get overly excited about the possibility of living vicariously through your stories and focus my sexual being on love for her and filling her needs, as I think having too many open conversations here can be dangerous unless you continue them at home. Like anything else, my need for mental and sexual stimulation is high, I get a boost of it here, and then it dies at home. Sometimes talking about sex with friends is chatting with you guys. Many of you have mentioned that they don’t talk to anyone and I am in the same boat - however, this is sometimes the only place I can chat openly. Thanks for your replies and keeping my fire alive as I think it would probably die out if left to my own devices…
Even though my wife and I are pretty open with each other, it can still be difficult to talk about this stuff. I’ve mentioned the forum a couple times, but I don’t think she’s ever read any of it or even knows my handle (but I’m sure she’d figure it out rather easily).
There is often the fear of being shamed or your partner thinking negatively of you or even the possibility that you may really want to do something that they simply do not want to do, and having that become a reality can be hard. I recently asked my wife to download a few apps which can help make the conversations easier and also provide a little avenue for flirting throughout the day. One is called Kindu and you basically say yes, no, or maybe to the prompts/ideas and if you and your partner “match” then it will show up for both.
So if you really want to do anal and she has zero interest, then you won’t be “outed” for having an interest. If one of you says you REALLY want to do something and the other person is a maybe or a strong yes, then it will show up for both and also indicate if both of you were a strong yes. It’s kind of a nice way to put out some feelers without the fear of rejection.
Some days I get so riled up being on the forum, shopping on LH, looking at racy photos of my wife or even porn, and it’s hard to get worked up for hours and then have nothing happen at the end of the day, but I know that we aren’t going to have sex most days due to the phase of life we’re in with kids and stuff. It may sound corny, but we’ve also had a lot of success scheduling it, i.e. a certain day of the week is when it’s very likely to happen, and if it doesn’t we sort of reschedule it, and then weekends are kind of a toss up where it may or may not happen depending on our moods, if we got any sleep the night before, etc.
I’m so glad we have this forum. It’s interesting how much easier it is to talk to “anonymous” people about this stuff in a safe space than with friends, and that it seems to be the same on either side of the Atlantic.
My best friend is female and she knows everything about my sexlife and sexuality, we were 2 couples who were very close friends and did everything together, our FBF friendship became even closer when her OH left her for her best mate and me and my OH were there to pick the pieces.
For some reason it was me and her that grew closer than ever although it was probably because I had always seen her as my little sister as we had so much in common in our lives and were like kindred spirits.
Over the years just through chatting and confessions she learnt every deep dark secret about our sexlife and my solo sexlife which she even admits has become a source of extreme interest because her being extremely vanilla didn’t realise that sexlifes like ours were normal in real life.
It was also her and only her that I’ve come out to about to my sexuality as I’ve mentioned in a previous topic of mine, although she does disagree with me on that, she thinks because I’m married I’m bisexual thats more in to men where I know I’m gay, anyway that’s for the other Topic.
For me having her to talk to has been a great help with me understanding who I am and for her my whole sexlife, gay or with my wife has been eye opening to say the least!!
I have had friends in the past who I trusted implicitly and we would have both jokey and serious chats about our sex lives, but we both knew it would be for our ears only.
I have friends now, I feel comfy talking about life and woes, but not my sex life with them. On here does give a freedom in sharing/ asking not available elsewhere for me at the moment.
I don’t share with most friends. I have a couple of friends who I talk about it with. And my sister knows absolutely EVERYTHING. I’ve become close with a new friend this fall, partly because I’m intersex and she’s trans and we don’t really have other friends who understand that stuff. We hear a lot about each other’s sex lives (or rather, her lack of a sex life.)
We dont really tell anyone things, only those who are in the ‘scene’, but would be nice to be able to talk about things openly with other close friends.
Can be quite erotic talking about sex with others. And we can be quite adventurous at times.
Maybe the anxiety of being judge and talked about is the biggest put off of discussing sex with others.
I never go in to details or even close to what I put here as anonymous but I do joke about stuff and elude to stuff with my best friend, plus we are in to spicy new adult fantasy novels so there’s always something sexual we are discussing with some passion which are always hilarious tangents that go on for hours.
The OH doesn’t care who knows and we are known to be the kinky couple in the family, but again, specifics are kept between us.
A few jokey comments but nothing real, that is all just between me and MrsC. I don’t think MrsC shares with any of her friends, but she would have to confirm that herself. One of the reasons I havejoinedthis forum is so that I / we can open upto others.
