Apologies first of all if this has been covered elsewhere, I had a search around on the forums and couldn't find anything relevant.
I've read a lot that the girl-on-top position is supposed to be more satisfying for the woman as she can control the depth and speed, but I am absolutely useless on top. Once I'm on top of my boyfriend I find it really difficult to move; I struggle to raise myself up off him and when I try to rock back and forth it somehow just doesn't come off right. As a result I don't often go on top, because when I do I am so self-conscious about my technique that I can't enjoy it. I want to learn how to be better at it so that I can take my fair share of the effort and so he can just lie back and let me pleasure him.
My boyfriend is on the larger side downstairs, so that isn't the problem. I am quite short (just under 5') and rather pudgey, so I don't know if my legs aren't long enough to properly straddle him or if my excess weight is getting in the way. I'm also really worried about putting too much weight on him because I'm self-conscious about my weight. I've tried watching porn and studying their technique but I can't seem to get the hang of it. I know it's possible for a larger lady to ride her man because I've seen it done in said videos.
Would be very grateful for any tips or advice any of you could give me. Particularly from males about what feels best for them. Thank you!
There's two positions i usually go for cow girl wise, the first is reverse but lying down (my back to his torso), it's a little difficult at first as you have to go from knees either side to your legs straight whilst he's still inside you (i hope you get what i'm saying here lol!) but this way he can go as fast as he wants, i can grind and also has easy access to pleasuring me.
As for usual cow girl, if your finding it hard to straddle him have you tried putting pillows under each knee? I often avoid the cowgirl positions as my hubbys a big build and my inner thigh muscle starts to hurt but this really helps. I also grab on to my metal headboard, this helps me grind and also takes some of my weight off him.
Also you really dont have to be afraid of putting your weight onto him, i'm exactly the same mind set with face sitting, as soon as i let go on thinking i was going to suffocate him i started to enjoy myself a lot more :)
I always found rolling my hips like you do when you hula hoop is much more easier for me than going up and down.
Another good way is for him to have his legs together and you to squat above him but that can get uncomfortable after a while.
Another position is facing your back towards him and him putting his knees up so you can hold on to them for extra support, I find this helps me when I am starting to get a bit exhausted.
It can be slightly easier leaning forward and sort of moving forward and back holding onto his hands so he can help without throwing you off balance. Holding hands and looking into each other's eyes can also feel incredibly intimate.
It can be slightly easier leaning forward and sort of moving forward and back holding onto his hands so he can help without throwing you off balance. Holding hands and looking into each other's eyes can also feel incredibly intimate.
I love to go on top but I'm also worried about putting too much weight on my husband, I'm 5ft 5 and a size 16 . The grinding backwards and forwards method is a lot easier of you have a headboard or wall to support yourself but then I'm concious of my boobs swinging in his face! Have you considered the reverse cowgirl? I find it works a bit better for me because it doesn't seem as if I'm putting too much weight on him and because I'm facing the other way I'm not self concious about my wobbly tummy. Somehow it seems easier to go up and down in this position. Wildcherrys tip about the pillows under the knees really helps, makes things more comfortable and gives you a bit of extra height.
Us guys are pretty durable - we can stand having a bit of weight put on. If you're over-thinking going on top then you're not going to get the benefits of going on top.
Try straddling your man, leaning back and holding your ankles - it takes all your weight off and allows you both to find a rhythm that hits the spot. If you angle it right I've found you can stimulate the a spot this way too.
Hands down mine and the OH's fave position as we both get intense climaxes from it.
First tip get a cock ring like the one above , my wife loves this when she is on top. It will teach you to move your hips and get it on your clit by moving around and grinding.
Next try and relax and be confident. Your man will love the fact you are on top. Your thoughts about your weight on him will not even come intro it for him.
Something else you can try is get him to lie of the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor then when you mount him you can put your feet down on the floor.
Finally reverse cowgirl is also wonder full , if your OH is into your butt the view is great and if you like having it played with this is a great position..
Most of all you will only try and relax and enjoy your self . You arn't enjoying it because you are over thinking it.
I'm 5'4 and about a size 18. Trust me your man is built to take that weight! He'll love your boobs swinging in his face too.
When I say I'm pudgy, I'm talking more like a size 20 pudgy. And even though I'm big I still have pretty small boobs so I'm really self-conscious about that as well. I think that's the biggest factor for me, that I'm so on-show while I'm up there. Short of blindfolding him though I don't think there is any way around that.
Thank you everybody for your suggestions, I will try and practice some of them before his next visit.
I tend to wear basques and waspies if I know things are going to happen and it's still light, I wouldn't have sex naked in full lighting! Far too self-conscious of my wobbly tummy and stretch marks (no babies, just a connective tissue disorder). Maybe convince yourself he desires you and wants to see you bouncing around up there, as most men adore it.
Monkeysnacks, I'm 5ft 5 size 22 with C cup boobs.... I know your pain >.<
But I like to think of it this way. Our partners chose US. They appreciate our bodies, every single fold of fat or stretch mark (trust me... I'm not exaggerating that I look like a tiger clawed through my stomach since my children). We may not love it, but if we let them love us we can learn!
You have every right to feel the way you do, but I assure you, your partner doesn't see you the same way! Infact knowing how much you would normally worry about such things only heightens his appreciation and love that you would push yourself to please him.
Keep going, He will love it, eventually you will learn to love it too!
Jazzam is right, your partner is not analyzing you while you are riding him. He will be too busy enjoying the moment.
As for teh weight, the part of his body that will hold your weight could take all of your weight. It is his pelvis which is very strong and is built to hold all his own body weight in every possible movement/direction - trust us... it will hold.
As for the blindfold, it is not needed but you should give it a go just because it is fun (and have him do it to you as well) 
Be comfortable with who you are and that he is with YOU.
Jazz am and cb hit the nail on the head. I'm incredibly conscious of my body and I hate being on top as everything wobbles. Little tip, get a 1/4 cup bra. It keeps them upright instead of sagging and oh still has access to them! But seriously I just don't look down, I look at my husband. I look at how happy he is and how he's running his hands All over my body. It really is a mind over matter issue. Just let go and enjoy it.
I'm 5'4 and about a size 18. Trust me your man is built to take that weight! He'll love your boobs swinging in his face too.
When I say I'm pudgy, I'm talking more like a size 20 pudgy. And even though I'm big I still have pretty small boobs so I'm really self-conscious about that as well. I think that's the biggest factor for me, that I'm so on-show while I'm up there. Short of blindfolding him though I don't think there is any way around that.
Thank you everybody for your suggestions, I will try and practice some of them before his next visit.
If it makes you feel more comfortable, why not try the blindfold, if he enjoys the added kink it's win win! I would echo what others have said, he chose you as you are, he probably doesn't care (in so good way) about the bits you are conscious about. My wife was the same, not so much now though so I wish you the best of luck.
I was the same, it took months for me to finally go on top & still I'm perfecting it! I didn't know what to do & I understand your self-conciousness...I found putting my hand on a wall and the other either on his chest or leg helps or both hands on his chest. Lately I've been wearing babydolls which really help with body confidence. It does take time to get used to being on top & finding your rhythm, hope it works out for you. X
I'd really love to unleash my inner cowgirl but have similar issues to most it seems! I'm pretty hefty at 6ft, and a size 18-20. I too am self-conscious of my boobs swinging, my tummy bouncing and just generally being on show but love the concept of riding my man and seeing him enjoy it and this helps me try and put my body issues aside. It's the technique I'm struggling with! My bf is a little shorter than me, around 5'10 but has quite a big tum. This coupled with my inexperience and feeling like a bunch of weighty limbs means we're still trying to work out how best to fit together in this position! It's kinda the same if he wants to bend me over - his fave - as he's more used to shorter girls we're finding my height is a bit of a problem :/ It's all good though, we do have fun trying to work it out but it can be frustrating.