does anyone else crave the touch of another person even though they are more than happy with their OH, im finding i think about it more and more now and can imagine what it must feel like to feel another mans touch and different techniques.
If you are feeling like this then I highly suggest you talk to your partner. Perhaps you can find why you are feeling like this or come to an arrangement. If I found out my partner had had sex with someone else I would leave. I would be most angry because he didn't talk to me.
I strongly advise that you speak to your partner about this.
Trust is a very important part of any relationship and cheating destroys it.
I know it may be hard, but tell your parter. Maybe ask if he would like to indulge your craving, either by having a threesome, or by swinging, etc.
Are you really tempted to cheat or do you just fantasise about cheating because these are two different things?
If your tempted to cheat (as your thread is named) then the others are right and you should speak to your OH.
If you just fantasise about cheating then maybe try some role-play with your OH and see if that feeds your fantasy.
Let's get real.
In the real world, "talking to your OH" will destroy the trust just as much as being found out actually doing it would.
Seriously? Go to your partner and say "I crave another man's touch and seriously think about having sex with someone else - help! I thought I should let you know" You might as well pack his bags or your own.
Do it or preferably don't do it - but keep your mouth shut if you value your relationship.
jaycloth wrote:
Let's get real.
In the real world, "talking to your OH" will destroy the trust just as much as being found out actually doing it would.
Seriously? Go to your partner and say "I crave another man's touch and seriously think about having sex with someone else - help! I thought I should let you know" You might as well pack his bags or your own.
Do it or preferably don't do it - but keep your mouth shut if you value your relationship.
yes yes yes!
i would die if phil told me he was thinking about having sex with someone other than me. id want him gone straight away ahhhh.
maybe just try and make your sex life with him more exciting and fresh?
I agree with Jaycloth, speaking to your partner is not advisable, unless he is unusually open minded. I also agree with fistinglover69, and would advise investigating how you can make your sex life with him more interesting. An actual affair is very risky and stressful business; I have been down that road, and it's not worth it.
jaycloth wrote:
Let's get real.
In the real world, "talking to your OH" will destroy the trust just as much as being found out actually doing it would.
Seriously? Go to your partner and say "I crave another man's touch and seriously think about having sex with someone else - help! I thought I should let you know" You might as well pack his bags or your own.
Do it or preferably don't do it - but keep your mouth shut if you value your relationship.
!
Couldnt agree more although i would say, if you are seriously thinking of doing it and its not something you can do as a couple, then do the decent thing and end the relationship first.
MissSteele, I don't think that would help much - if she is tempted to cheat now, she will be tempted to do it if she starts a long relationship with another man as well. Not that I have personal experience - I have been with the same man for over 10 years now (and I yes - I cheated and was tempted to cheated and I still am - at the moment I am so tempted that if I wasn't crushed by work and did not put on some pounds, would have probably gone to a night club or something for a one-night flirt/sex).
And I know myself - I am just not the monogamous type. Unfortunately, my partner is - he never cheated on me (if we don't count a kiss) and he will be devastated if he knows. And, yes, if he cheated on me, I would find it as normal. As long as it is a one-night thing and not something more than that.
I would talk to your OH. My OH and I have started discussing 3ways and swinging. We've been together 4 years and are still very much in love and this in no way changes our relationship. This way we both get to enjoy it. Perhaps you could bring this up with your OH?
I was a virgin when i met my oh. He understands that i have never experienced anybody else and so we explore all avenues of swinging together
It's already been said but if its just fantasy and the idea turns you on then no harm. How many people on here can honestly say that when they masterbate or have sex with there other half they have never thought of someone else ? Fantasy is healthy if however you really want Another man then speak to your other half see how he would feel about a 3sum/4sum or even if he is happy for you to meet on your own.
Others have comment saying don't talk it will ruin the relationship but what relationship if your cheating it will end anyway and everyone involved will be deeply hurt at least if you have spoke about it you will both know how the other feels and may be able to work something out wether that's staying together both happy or going your desperate ways
I really wouldn't advise talking to your OH about this.... it could really ruin things...
If you are unhappy in your current relationship, you will need to make a choice of either leaving it and walking away (which will be painful for both parties but will at least not destroy the poor bloke) or sticking with it an thinking about all the positives that your relationship has - and building on these.
Find ways to spend high quality time together and really make an effort to get to know each other more, finding release with him that fulfills your fantasy needs too.
Good luck, whichever you choose...
Personally I think even if you're in a happy relationship anybody can be tempted, it's whether you act on it or not that could potentially cause problems.
I wouldn't reccommend speaking to your OH about this, however you need to ask yourself if you're happy in your current relationship if your thinking about being with somebody else. Speaking from personal experience me and my ex had been drifting apart for a while but what really made my mind up was when I began thinking about going with somebody else, I said to myself, ' If I am thinking about sleeping with somebody else then im obviously not happy in my current relationship' so i did something about it and got out because I don't agree with cheating, it's not fair on the other partner but it's also not fair for you to be unhappy :)
You need to decide what's right for you and what you want, whether you want things to work
Hope things work out :)
The wife of a friend proposed that she and I have a fling. My response was that after we had done it, she would probably think 'What the hell did I do that for'. Furthermore that it would damage her (happy) marriage because she would feel guilty and if she ever confessed it to her husband to ease her guilt, he would never trust her again, and contemplating what had been between her thighs, would never again want to be intimate with her. This struck a cord, and the subject never came up again. Dimple..... best not go there!
By all means, I advise you to not cheat, because it will destroy the other person. He or she can even try revegne on you and well, it will be deserved.
I think what you should do is try to resolve it on your own. If all with your OH is great and you have noone in particular to want to be with, then it will pass - it's just a fantasy. If you have anyone particular, weight the sides but keep in mind that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Is it worth it to ruin a relationship and someone's life just because you need some excitement?
If you think you want it more than anything, break up first - that would be the mature thing to do. Don't cheat - it's cowardly and selfish.
jaycloth wrote:
Let's get real.
In the real world, "talking to your OH" will destroy the trust just as much as being found out actually doing it would.
Seriously? Go to your partner and say "I crave another man's touch and seriously think about having sex with someone else - help! I thought I should let you know" You might as well pack his bags or your own.
Do it or preferably don't do it - but keep your mouth shut if you value your relationship.
100%. End of discussion.
once you cheat, you will always be a cheat, it can never be undone
if you value your relationship, don't do it
Try putting some effort into adding a bit of spice to your sex life
well said hotlola
My OH has been in prison for the past 14 months and I can proudly say I haven't even come close to cheating on him. Of course I am absolutely gagging for it, but I don't just want sex, I want him! I love him and I could never bring myself to cheat on him. Sex with somebody else would be meaningless and I wouldn't throw away our perfect relationship for anything.
Of course I have needs and urges but I can satisfy myself until he comes home (only 7 weeks to go!!!)
I don't agree "once a cheat always a cheat" though. I cheated on an ex in the past (and by cheated, I mean had a kiss and a grope, not sex), but I realised it was because I no longer valued the relationship.
It's natural to be attracted to other people, but if you truly love someone and value your relationship, you wouldn't cheat.