So I’m quite open to the idea of anal sex and enjoy hubby popping the odd finger/vibrator in there. However when we try butt plugs it just doesnt work- it doesn’t stay on or it’s too difficult to get it in. What can I do? I’m eager to try anal sex but at this rate it’ll never happen! Any suggestions of butt plugs or ‘exercises’ I can do to loosen the booty a little just to get a butt plug in would be great!
Best advice is to play anally alone with a good lube. Using your fingers you can experiment by gently stretching yourself. You say one finger is ok so start with that. Once you entirely comfortable with that...add another finger. Learn the feelig of having something inside your bum that varies inside. You can then try another finger or a plug. If you're having trouble getting a plug in and keeping it in go for a nice tapered one, not a beginners one as they're really difficult to keep in. Make sure whatever you choose has a thin neck as this will help it stay put. A large base is also a good idea to rule out any chance of it disappearing. It also gives you something to hold on to when insertion and removing. A penis is actually much easier to take anally as it has a bit more give. Always remember to use lots of lube xx
Thanks Terri JJ. Will definitely give your ideas a go. Think I’m going wrong with using a beginners plug. Love an excuse to go shopping with LH!
I secondly suggest plenty of water based lube . The right lube makes all the difference . I also suggest playing by yourself so maybe you can relax better . The following shape and small size is great for begineres , I have several similar shape .https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28501 I do not have this exact one , but it should be fine . Once you can relax enough and get used to it you can work your way up in size and length . It is OK to feel slight discomfort but not pain . I can not attest to have an actual male member in me , but like the imitation . Note that I can't take the biggest and longest one often , but some days it is oh so good !
Could it be the shape or size of the plug you are using? I'm a beginner myself and have only used 2 plugs so far but can see a big difference. The slender plug doesn't always want to stay put but my my bulb shaped one won't budge.
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21767
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31111
I think the thing about anal play is you have to want it and be relaxed about it. I like to warm up with another toy like a rabbit or vibe on my vagina beforehand. Then I use plenty of lube and tease my butt with the plug. Then very slowly move it in and out until it eventually sits in securely.
Oh, I think it also helps me to warm up the plug itself so you don't get a shock of cold.
People say use lots of lube, thats true, however its hard to get it inside where you need it most, you could try this when you get to the point of actual anal sex to make it slippery https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=19842 and beginner plugs are not really the right item to buy if just starting out, if, you want it to stay inside?
Is your partner particularly Large? If not then fingers may be enough of a warm up for his penis to fit. A penis isnt hard or firm in the same way as a toy and can be acomodated more comfortably than a toy of same size or even small in some cases.
That said, you wil enjoy it more if you practice more and solo anal is the best way to practice at first because you have all the control and can anticipate everything before it happens. Terri JJs advice is spot on.
Like the old tale of Goldilocks.. you need the right size for your butt! So make sure you get a beginner plug and get comfortable with it before moving onto the medium or large size. A good lube is also necessary, Anal lube sounds like a con but it’s really not, it’s thicker and much better for getting stuff moving. If the plug keeps popping out then you either need a little less lubricant or to relax, which is the most important part. If you frustrate yourself and keep trying then your muscles will clench up and basically it will shut up shop and you won’t be able to get anything in. So try some solo exploration, get comfortable with different positions such as laying on your front or doggystyle. Also probably too much Info for some but make sure you go to the toilet before, we found that a shower also helps loosen all the muscles and relax you so try having a bit of a pamper session before! Have fun and good luck!
Delightful87 wrote:
So I’m quite open to the idea of anal sex and enjoy hubby popping the odd finger/vibrator in there. However when we try butt plugs it just doesnt work- it doesn’t stay on or it’s too difficult to get it in. What can I do? I’m eager to try anal sex but at this rate it’ll never happen! Any suggestions of butt plugs or ‘exercises’ I can do to loosen the booty a little just to get a butt plug in would be great!
Mrs LST here - Start with the 'beginners' slim butt plug as you should get used to something up your butt. Go up in size once you are comfortable and aim to get a bulbous plug as it will stay put as your sphinkter will grip the neck. From there continue to go bigger until you are ready for the real thing, which by then should be a comfortable fit. Remember the golden rule - Lube, Lube, Lube and then more Lube!
I have a glass plug and it is so smooth and cool. Silicone seems softer but can be rather grippy even with lube. Glorious glass https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32887
I like this one because the shape is not too long and thin like so called beginners plugs, but it has the right width of neck to stay in while still giving a bit of stretch. I love the look of metal princess plugs but with a big plug with a small neck, it's not really giving you the time for making the stretch you want - your bum kind of takes it and then slams shut again.
This glass one stays in, you can walk around and sit down in it easily.
begineers plugs tend to go in easily but pop out just as easily because they dont have much of a taper to hold it in. Moving around during sex with OH and its likely to pop out.
Need something with a more prononced bulb so the taper bit is gripped by your spinchter muscle to get it to stay in however take in gently when having sex with it in until you get used to the change in something bigger.
If the beginers pops out, lube your bum and just up your spinchter muscle, (use fingers and you can feel it gripping and open up past it) and only the tip of the plug. Then it goes easier but then the lube doesnt lubricate it out.
half the fun is in the trying. We giggled first time it shot out! Not one to tell the kids
I was curious about anal sex myself and only recently popped that cherry so to speak! From my own experience, my partner had played with asshole a number of previous times and having had a bad initial experience years ago I had been reluctant for him to really do so. However, I am very comfortable with my boyfriend and he worked up to his penis by first fingering my asshole, then using a small anal dildo on me before I was the one insisting we have anal sex! I think it's really important that there was a build up, and that with each stage it was a case of relaxing my anal passage around it and just enjoying the sensation, which I found admittedly amazing in the aroused state I was in. Naturally, plenty of lube was used and my boyfriend was incredibly respectful of my wishes. Perhaps that kind of build up, using an anal dildo might work for you?
Terri JJ wrote:
Best advice is to play anally alone with a good lube. Using your fingers you can experiment by gently stretching yourself. You say one finger is ok so start with that. Once you entirely comfortable with that...add another finger. Learn the feelig of having something inside your bum that varies inside. You can then try another finger or a plug. If you're having trouble getting a plug in and keeping it in go for a nice tapered one, not a beginners one as they're really difficult to keep in. Make sure whatever you choose has a thin neck as this will help it stay put. A large base is also a good idea to rule out any chance of it disappearing. It also gives you something to hold on to when insertion and removing. A penis is actually much easier to take anally as it has a bit more give. Always remember to use lots of lube xx
I am wishing that I had read this earlier.
Just starting to experiment with anal and got one of the BASICS Slimline https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053
Putting it in was easier than I thought, then I coughed and it shot out like a bullet!!
So I guess I am looking for something where the large diameter is more than twice the stem diameter?
Then the next concern is if it is the right shape to stay in, how much more difficult is it to get out? Or do I have to learn to cough harder?
Thanks.
I'll second these two toys: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28501 and https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32887
You could even use a relaxing anal glide, but personally I advise against it to begin with. =)
Smultron wrote:
I'll second these two toys: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28501 and https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32887
You could even use a relaxing anal glide, but personally I advise against it to begin with. =)
I was considering the https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32887.
The other one looks interesting, but I'm not sure about the texture.
Thanks
The Woodie wrote:
Terri JJ wrote:
Best advice is to play anally alone with a good lube. Using your fingers you can experiment by gently stretching yourself. You say one finger is ok so start with that. Once you entirely comfortable with that...add another finger. Learn the feelig of having something inside your bum that varies inside. You can then try another finger or a plug. If you're having trouble getting a plug in and keeping it in go for a nice tapered one, not a beginners one as they're really difficult to keep in. Make sure whatever you choose has a thin neck as this will help it stay put. A large base is also a good idea to rule out any chance of it disappearing. It also gives you something to hold on to when insertion and removing. A penis is actually much easier to take anally as it has a bit more give. Always remember to use lots of lube xx
I am wishing that I had read this earlier.
Just starting to experiment with anal and got one of the BASICS Slimline https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053
Putting it in was easier than I thought, then I coughed and it shot out like a bullet!!
So I guess I am looking for something where the large diameter is more than twice the stem diameter?
Then the next concern is if it is the right shape to stay in, how much more difficult is it to get out? Or do I have to learn to cough harder?
Thanks.
A plug SHOULD need a bit of coaxing to remove it. The key to removing one is to relax. Teach yourself to breathe slowly and deeply when inserting and removing it. Don't be tempted to try to push it out as this will cause your muscles to tighten naturally making it much more difficult.....and uncomfortable xx