@Mrs.John I’d certainly miss you too, snd everyone else! It’s nice to know people would miss me! I appreciate you’re kind words 
@Kitty-Cat01 I’d do anything for anyone, have have been there for lots of friends at the drop of a hat! I’ve tried speaking to them over the last few months and literally none of them gave me the time of day! A couple of months ago I rang a good few people as I needed to chat to someone! Everyone of them said they where busy and would me back in just a minute! Not one did! I turned my phone off around 2pm and just drove for about 4 hours! And then pulled in at the services for petrol! No idea where I was going! Ended up saying to myself if no one is bothered at home then I’m certainly not going to find anything somewhere unknown so with my head low I drove home! I got home about midnight and pulled up, turned my phone back on to find not one person had rang back txt or anything! Walked in the house snd not even asked where I’d been till such a time! That was the lowest I’ve ever felt I think! 
@Dirty-Wife thank you! If I left I’d certainly miss you’re seriously naughty tales of what you get up too (pretty much daily) 
There’s one number where they’ll always listen. You know the one I mean - the one I asked you to put in your phone: 116 123. Just reminding you, mate. 
@Mrs.John I never knew what I’d do to be honest if ever anyone showed interest in me! Especially someone who is really stunning! Honestly not sure why anyone would be interested to be fair! I know deep down id never cheat as I’d feel like it’s cheating on the kids too snd I also know if she cheated on me it would hurt! I also know that i need intimacy in my life! I csnt imagine Never having sex again but Not having sex for over 5 years makes me feel worthless, if I ever got with someone else id seriously be worried that if we slept together they’d never call me again as maybe I’m that bad at it that’s why my oh has literally made all the excuses under the sun to avoid doing it with me! I always thought I wasn’t that bad to be honest 
but maybe I’m kidding myself!
Well we don’t have numbers but we’re here for you 24/7 and that’s a promise!
I remember mate! I nearly called them that very day! Ended up telling myself not to waste their time
@WillC thank you! I don’t t have the words to tell you all what it means honestly! 
That’s your biggest self-imposed hurdle, mate: constantly telling yourself that your problems aren’t worthy of attention and that airing them is “wasting people’s time”. There’s no such thing as wasting anyone’s time on that number.
The more I read of what’s going on in your life, the more convinced I am that if you don’t do something to break the downward spiral VERY SOON, if you don’t start taking your mental health seriously for once, you will hit the buffers like a runaway express - and I’d love to know what all those people who take you for granted now are going to do when you’ve had a breakdown/stroke/heart attack and are too sick to keep them in the style they’re used to…
No words are necessary! Just let us help you! 
The people I meant by that are the other half and the kids! It’s not that they expect everything I can give them (material things I mean) but I enjoy being able to give them anything they want/need and not have to worry about how I’m going to sort it! I’d hate myself even more if they needed something and I wasn’t able to provide it! I’m not one for fashion at all, big labels don’t bother me! I dress smart enough dont get me wrong but I can do that with clothes from anywhere! The kids like expensive stuff and like to be able to give it them! If that means me braking my back for it then it’s no bother to me! So about that, it’s not really that they expect the nicer things but more that I’d be disappointed if I suddenly couldn’t do it anymore! The kids aren’t spoilt at all! They know things have to be earned!
I hate telling people my problems! I told myself earlier in the week that maybe this is just the way my life is supposed to me! Maybe happiness is a bridge too far! I’ve said before that I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done, but some of the things I’m not particularly proud of! Maybe this is my karma and it’s just how me myself has brought this on! If I can accept that this is just the way it’s meant to be then maybe I’ll stop the overthinking!
I honestly feel like I don’t deserve it! I just need to stop going on about it I think and give my head a wobble possibly 
Providing for your family is about more than just buying stuff. You need to give them time and effort as well. If you’re working 17 hour days, and putting all your time and effort into your work, then your home life will suffer. It’s a no brainer.
Try and get your working day/week under control, and return some of that effort and energy back towards yourself and your family.
Please do give the number @PleasureDrone gave you a ring as you sound really near breaking point. I imagine you’re stressed and completely exhausted because you work insane hours and your brain doesn’t get a chance to unwind even when you do get home.
Running your own business (just my opinion) is much harder mentally than working for someone else and the stresses you have along with that are hard. Part of that though also means you are missing out on home life and (I imagine) your wife feels rejected because of this which is probably why she doesn’t give you care and support when you do come home. Talking to her and explaining the situation is the only way to fix this. Maybe you can find a balance together? I know you miss the physical intimacy but hopefully that will come back or at least you’ll be in a position where you can talk about it when you are both happier with life generally. I think you are both unhappy at the moment and that needs to change before anything else as I don’t think either of you can support the other while both feeling rejected.
I do this exact same thing myself. Theses people have volunteered their time to listen so your not wasting it. its what they there for, so don’t feel you cant call.
Having someone to talk to in your life is really important, and i’m so sorry your friends didn’t give you the time of day.
First Post after thr big move out (and body being broken) and I’m using it to day to @SteelA1 that you’re not a burden and we love having you round. At times, everyone needs some support and we have loads of it and love here. Please don’t cut off that support that you so desperately need. xx
I hope the move went as well as it could have gone. I’m not sure if you are now where you want to end up? But I hope you will be happy there. I hope @SteelA1 gets the professional support he needs. everyone here will be giving him support as well. We look forward to your future posts and more on your blog @KinkyMira
I hope the move went well and you’re not too exhausted @KinkyMira? 
How’s the new place?
I felt exactly the same @SteelA1, but it is what they are there for so don’t be afraid to use it. I had a chat to someone who volunteers for them and she said that she talks to some people every day, they just phone to check in and talk through their day because it helps. She told me that I should never feel like a waste of time. You don’t have to be at crisis point to phone them, yes they can help when you are, but they would much rather help you before it gets to that point. I will never let myself get to that point again before phoning, now that I’ve done it once I feel more confident doing it again. Just give them a quick call and get some support xx sending hugs 
@SteelA1 I wish I could offer more than a virtual hug and support.
I echo others on the forum with saying please speak to someone before you break. I understand it’s daunting and that you don’t want to feel like you’re a burden, but you’re really not. These people volunteer to be there.
Try and flip it around, what would your advice be for any one of us going through what you are?
You are the most valuable asset you have so please look after yourself, however you need to 
@KinkyMira hope the move went wel!
Thanks everyone for the good wishes about the move. My body is totally broken (as to be expected), but we are out and in temporary accommodation.
The move out took us much longer than expected, but the movers were brilliant and worked as late as was necessary to get everything into storage. We got the keys back, and came up to North Yorkshire, where we are in an AirBNB. Firstly, for us to recover physically, and then for us to work out where we want to move to. My husband has a few trips back down south to do, and Vicki will be all over the place as usual, so normal life will be resumed next week. But for now, rest, sleep and a bit of sex. Not had enough of that over the last couple of weeks.
Toughest part is getting my head round the fact our old place isn’t ours any more. Feels like we are on holiday at the moment, but this is anything but. Strange, but exciting too.
Good luck @KinkyMira I am sure you will find just what you are looking for. Enjoy your short break and try to relax allowing your body to recover. A little sex will certainly not be bad either and will aid recovery for everyone.
I’m not sure what just happened but the threads that were in the rant thread have been moved to another thread, when I click on it, the thread says it doesn’t exist or is private. The notification from Brenna that my posts have been moved has disappeared too. I can understand why they have moved - I assume for privacy, triggering others, safety etc but I’m not sure why I have been blocked from seeing them. I’m sorry if I’ve been unhelpful or done something wrong or maybe this is just a discussion that is between selected members of the forum but it would be nice to know what’s happened.